I woke to the GOD. Death is the only whey to forget?

[Asayake]

2 hours ago, Forza21 said:

 

Because even my "girlfriend" is pure fantasy. It's all me. I'm all alone. Right now i'm talking to me self, using my next self-deception as Leo. It was no fucking joke that there's no one to awaken but YOU.  

if i can't get less conscious, and forget, and can't enjoy it either what to do?

"It's all me. I'm all alone." Is this not just another story you're telling yourself? If you tell yourself there are others, it seems as if there are. If you tell yourself it's all you, that's all there is. They are 2 different stories painted on the exact same canvas. Pick the one which feels right mate.

Edit: Wanted to add, make sure you have adequate food, water and regular sleep. When I don't have those I can slip into uncomfortable perspectives and not be aware that there's a different way of looking at things..

Edited February 28, 2022 by Asayake

[Forza21]

5 hours ago, Inliytened1 said:

You cracked the nut.  That does not mean that you can't enjoy the taste.   It should taste even better now.  Just give yourself time to come ut of realizing your alone.   You will drift back into a limited state of consciousness again and what you imagine becomes real.  So your gf is real if you imagine she is.  That's all you have to do.  You now know how your powers work you just have to use them now.

 

2 hours ago, puporing said:

There's nothing 'to do' that you have to do. You're free now. 

4 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

You can enjoy it. God is Perfect.

Yes, your GF is a fantasy, just like everything else. And you can still enjoy her. You created her for your pleasure.

If you're not seeing the beauty of it, you're not getting it.

So why i feel so miserable? i have no idea what to do next, it's all me, i'm after 24h after this,  i'm still conscious of it. I can't eat, sleep, escape this. How to ground myself? i really need help. Any advice to forget...

i got so conciouss that I SAW how i created my GF looking into her!!! i saw how i created my life, my "teachers", "you" everything,time,spacer,everthing!! how is it possible? there's no anserws right? it's just NOW?

Edited February 28, 2022 by Forza21

[Forza21]

2 hours ago, Asayake said:

"It's all me. I'm all alone." Is this not just another story you're telling yourself? If you tell yourself there are others, it seems as if there are. If you tell yourself it's all you, that's all there is. They are 2 different stories painted on the exact same canvas. Pick the one which feels right mate.

Edit: Wanted to add, make sure you have adequate food, water and regular sleep. When I don't have those I can slip into uncomfortable perspectives and not be aware that there's a different way of looking at things..

i can't sleep and forget...

[Jimguy]

6 hours ago, Forza21 said:

I'm God. I'm absolutely everything there is. 

 

I would go to the doctor, to get some pills, but all I get is me. 

i can die, just to experience me dying, and forgetting again.

There's no cure for that, only self-deception. I can only cheat myself that i write this post to someone. It's all me. My imagination. It's all pure dream stuff. I can see it right now, and 100% conscious of that.


i feel it's not what i wanted. Fuck. Now i feel soo fucking lonely to the point of killing myself, and go into another self-deception-dream is a only way out?

 

how do i get less conscious?

I had a similar experience after I did shrooms. I thought life would never be the same, but it is. You can get “less conscious” by taking a stance of not knowing. You could just be wrong with all your ideas. The next day after my shroom trip I kinda thought “meh, I could be wrong.” 

[Forza21]

5 hours ago, Godishere said:

@Leo Gura I think the problem many people have with it, is that it feels like something you already know but have hid from yourself(on purpose). When you get your first real true hit of infinity and Oneness the ego doesn't want it. You realise why you were dreaming in the first place, to create otherness. Wouldn't that be so?

yes

i created all the deceptions and illusion to trick myself into thinking there are other! it's just me! and i'm afraid  all stuff is what how to awaken, but how to deal with shit like that? 

Edited February 28, 2022 by Forza21

[Forza21]

Sometimes i feel like "ok, i'm god , i can relax and enjoy"
but then is that i remember how i created my gf looking at her. Like i designed it my whole to life to this moment, she told me i was god and everything collapsed into me!!! Time, space, her,everything. i gave life to her, and everthing else!!

I have 0 idea how to life just life next, everything lost all mystery and meaning to it, instead of pure bliss. I can't tell it to anyone, because everyone is me, just a fragment of my infinite imagination. I'm all alone.

Edited February 28, 2022 by Forza21

[Vincent S]

23 minutes ago, Forza21 said:

yes

i created all the deceptions and illusion to trick myself into thinking there are other! it's just me! and i'm afraid  all stuff is what how to awaken, but how to deal with shit like that? 

Start loving what you have. Get out and breathe fresh air. Go into nature. Go hug your girlfriend, all the while you are hugging yourself. 
You have received the greatest gift. And you are in the process of understanding how valuable it actually is. Give it “time” and do what you like, meanwhile this settles. 
You can even awaken deeper in to this. But you cant do it all to quickly, if you aren’t ready for it. So find what makes you ready for this. And integrate what you just received. Right now, you have been blasted with information. Just find ways to keep calm, and you will be okay.  

[Forza21]

Just now, Vincent S said:

Start loving what you have. Get out and breathe fresh air. Go into nature. Go hug your girlfriend, all the while you are hugging yourself. 
You have received the greatest gift. And you are in the process of understanding how valuable it actually is. Give it “time” and do what you like, meanwhile this settles. 
You can even awaken deeper in to this. But you cant do it all to quickly, if you aren’t ready for it. So find what makes you ready for this. And integrate what you just received. Right now, you have been blasted with information. Just find ways to keep calm, and you will be okay.  

Deeper than god? i created all the stages, it's it game over ? and i can't unseen what i've seen

[Vincent S]

4 minutes ago, Forza21 said:

Deeper than god? i created all the stages, it's it game over ? and i can't unseen what i've seen

Yes, understanding it deeper. Then you wouldn’t need to be so worried about it. This feeling shall pass, like anything else. You will settle in to it, and once you have, “this” will be like anything else. You just have to find your own tools to keep yourself grounded, while you integrate all this. 

[Vincent S]

@Forza21 You cant “unsee” this, so might as well just start to accept it. However hard it may be. 

[michaelcycle00]

32 minutes ago, Forza21 said:

Sometimes i feel like "ok, i'm god , i can relax and enjoy"
but then is that i remember how i created my gf looking at her. Like i designed it my whole to life to this moment, she told me i was god and everything collapsed into me!!! Time, space, her,everything. i gave life to her, and everthing else!!

Do you mind explaining this? What do you mean you remember how you created her (your gf) or that you were looking at her?

[Forza21]

Just now, michaelcycle00 said:

Do you mind explaining this? What do you mean you remember how you created her (your gf) or that you were looking at her?

 

i saw her drop-dead,she was empty, and i gave life to her, so her eyes awaken. Out of my pure imagination. All the lights turned off, all the people disappear in the next building, than all the "reality" and space, It was all me. All collapsed into me.I'm  Imagining all this. I was in empty void outside of time, and i knew i can't forget and i dont want it.  my pov is infinite and absolute 

Edited February 28, 2022 by Forza21

[Asayake]

46 minutes ago, Forza21 said:

i can't sleep and forget...

It sucks sometimes man, stay strong. At end of last year I became concious of dreadful meaninglessness of existance after being awake for 48+ hours. But what I realized after a couple of nights proper sleep and just focusing on the basics, food, water, sleep, some short meditation sessions was that meaninglessness is not actually final. It seems that way when you're concious of it but all experiences I had up until that point had passed into something else. And so this feeling eventually passed as well. I snapped out of it and realized meaninglessness is just another stance, perspective that is pointless to settle on in the long run but certainly can be insightful to experience for a shorter period of time. It is settling for the perspective of meaninglessness that made conciousness appear absolutely meaninglessness. You're stressing yourself up a bit over the situation which is why you can't sleep. If you drink some water, take a shower, maybe some light yoga or weed if you're into that to help you relax a bit. Listen to some music you like. You don't always need to think so much about existential things. Contemplating can be insightful but letting yourself be "distracted" by music, a movie you like or by eating some snack you like can help you rest and let you shift perspective. It's easy to get stuck in one perspective. God? Yes, but how about watching a cute pig video "by the fire" with your girlfriend. Or cuddling up with a few pillows and eating some cookies. Meaningless? Until suddenly it isn't! You're reminding me of when I was tripping on 3g of shrooms and I had this terribly strong urge to get rid of my experience so I was frantically googling and trying to think my way out of the experience. But suddenly the experience let go by itself and things were back to normal but having had the tough experience makes you wiser, better off in the end. Even if it can feel like the experience is permanent. Because even if it is, your perspective on it will change with time.

5 minutes ago, Forza21 said:

Deeper than god? i created all the stages, it's it game over ? and i can't unseen what i've seen

Mistakenly quoted this and can't manage to unquote it lol.

[Tim R]

@Forza21 Realize that nothing has changed - so why be miserable now? People are right, you're still mising something. You made up the problem. It's all good. Pm me if you want to talk.

[GreenWoods]

@Forza21 You just need some time to integrate.

[Forza21]

11 minutes ago, GreenWoods said:

@Forza21 You just need some time to integrate.

11 minutes ago, GreenWoods said:

@Forza21 You just need some time to integrate.

any tips please? How do i co-op with the fact i'm absolutely fucking alone

[Forza21]

1 hour ago, Asayake said:

It sucks sometimes man, stay strong. At end of last year I became concious of dreadful meaninglessness of existance after being awake for 48+ hours. But what I realized after a couple of nights proper sleep and just focusing on the basics, food, water, sleep, some short meditation sessions was that meaninglessness is not actually final. It seems that way when you're concious of it but all experiences I had up until that point had passed into something else. And so this feeling eventually passed as well. I snapped out of it and realized meaninglessness is just another stance, perspective that is pointless to settle on in the long run but certainly can be insightful to experience for a shorter period of time. It is settling for the perspective of meaninglessness that made conciousness appear absolutely meaninglessness. You're stressing yourself up a bit over the situation which is why you can't sleep. If you drink some water, take a shower, maybe some light yoga or weed if you're into that to help you relax a bit. Listen to some music you like. You don't always need to think so much about existential things. Contemplating can be insightful but letting yourself be "distracted" by music, a movie you like or by eating some snack you like can help you rest and let you shift perspective. It's easy to get stuck in one perspective. God? Yes, but how about watching a cute pig video "by the fire" with your girlfriend. Or cuddling up with a few pillows and eating some cookies. Meaningless? Until suddenly it isn't! You're reminding me of when I was tripping on 3g of shrooms and I had this terribly strong urge to get rid of my experience so I was frantically googling and trying to think my way out of the experience. But suddenly the experience let go by itself and things were back to normal but having had the tough experience makes you wiser, better off in the end. Even if it can feel like the experience is permanent. Because even if it is, your perspective on it will change with time.

Mistakenly quoted this and can't manage to unquote it lol.

 

thank you, i'll try to co-op with that. it's all the perspective, and try to ground myself, find love to myself, there's nothing left to do. 

[BlueOak]

Yeah losing mystery is the worst aspect of any kind of awakening. All the way from childhood to now we lose it. The why or the unknown. The feeling of so that's it then. I wonder if that's why I never had a complete folding of reality like you did, just snapshots along the way. Maybe a lot of us resist losing the last bit of magic or mystery left. I was there last night a bit closer again but i'm still in the box . It was enough to create a well of apathy and acceptance though in me for the last 10 years.

Well go create some mysteries? Have you studied sacred geometry or the real power behind symbols/language before? Fascinating mysteries to replace the old ones. If you want to lose yourself back in some aspect of fantasy, maybe a good book? Ego is always there, you created it, you shape it, and you can rebuild it however you want. If you have more of a mathmatical lean, try Dan Winter.

Edited February 28, 2022 by BlueOak

[Spence94]

@Forza21 Who Is aware of the I that doesn't want what it has seen? What is that which is aware of that which feels lonely?

 

There is nothing to be scared of friend. You are loved. You are love. You are Freedom.

Edited February 28, 2022 by Spence94

[eman]

It is a big energetic bomb to your system I can imagine. Let it settle and just be aware of your ego trying to wrap it's head around all of this, creating scenarios, thoughts, images, feelings. Anything so it can feel whole again. Doesn't matter if "you" suffer or not. As long as it can attach, it will do.

Now with that awareness and observation. Connect to your body, mainly your balls. Put all your attention and focus into your balls and observe what arises. Do NOT lose focus on your balls (feel the heart beat in them, tinglines, everything) and keep observing. Anything that arises don't attach to it, just let it pass through while maintaining focus on your balls. Watch it dissolve. 

Realize that all these stories are just that. Thoughts and emotions creating a "reality" that your ego can attach to. Be it pure love or total suffering, aloneness. Let it go. Disconnect from mental mastrubation.