Are We Addicted To Suffering?

[Vincent S]

I have noticed that in my own path, I have learned a lot from suffering. Its just another reflex/tool to help me wake up to things. 

My life is changing a lot, I’m not really suffering at all, but I have noticed that there is some kind of lingering sense of addition/programming/habit, that is tied with “learning by suffering” or suffering in general. 

But as I am walking this path, I see a lot of old patterns coming up in awareness. And Its bothering me, not because of the de-programing element. But just the fact that a part of me thinks it wants to go back (learn by suffering) because thats how “it” is going to learn.

Anyone else noticed something similar? What are some ways of clearing these out? Are there ways of learning that is not by suffering only? Or is suffering the best teacher?  

[Reciprocality]

Yes suffering is essential to the type of growth which makes you independent and truly yourself.

Yet just like you can experience hundredfold more pain than you could ever benefit from trough a needle in your arm you can limit your growth trough angst and self imposed trauma.

So what are the traumas you should impose on yourself? To question and penetrate beliefs to the very limits, you can not predict how much you can handle and therefore you must suffer more than minimal.

[John Paul]

maybe it's an old pain, something happened before, and your mind is saying this story about learning or something to distract you from recalling painful memories. idk first idea that came up for me

[Vincent S]

12 minutes ago, John Paul said:

maybe it's an old pain, something happened before, and your mind is saying this story about learning or something to distract you from recalling painful memories. idk first idea that came up for me

Good one! Yeah that is exactly how I feel, when the internal "processees" occur. Its like that with a lot of things from the past. Stuff that I don't even remember, come bubbling up in front of awareness, to be seen, processed and let go off (if you are ready to let go), and then on to the next thing.
I could only imagine it being the same, but reversed, when we get programmed as a newborn, childhood and early adult life. This internal programs get loaded with what appears on the "outside" and we get a sense of self/identity with them. And then well call them "ours" and "our" past.
And so a story is build. And when you challenge yourself or these stories, they get reversed and you see them for what they truly are.

1 hour ago, Reciprocality said:

Yes suffering is essential to the type of growth which makes you independent and truly yourself.

But I guess the sense of "pain" or "suffering" is just what that is, old programming, paradigm, identity, the story: Being broken up to pieces and Truth being revealed.

[Reciprocality]

@Vincent S And you can relieve yourself of immense pain by having deprogrammed your flawed culture from the mind.

And you will do so proportional to the amount of loneliness you can handle. Unless you would be so lucky as to find someone who shares your essence despite coincided cultural deprogramming.

[Vincent S]

1 minute ago, Reciprocality said:

And you will do so proportional to the amount of loneliness you can handle. Unless you would be so lucky as to find someone who shares your essence despite coincided cultural deprogramming.

Indeed. Truth is that whoever is on this journey, is battling something within them. And removing their own obstacles along the way. Sometimes we meet others on the road, we help each other. We pass by a lot of mirrors on this journey. Sometimes pass by mirrors that reflect truly what we are and know ourselves to be. But Ultimately, its a lonely pathless path. Which I'm fine with. My life upon this point has been filled with this. But over the years, I have come to accept it and to be honest, to start enjoy it.

[Preety_India]

Suffering is extremely important for growing empathy. 

 

[Reciprocality]

@Vincent S Yes it can feel amazing to take radical responsibility for not only our schema as we implicitly discuss above, but also the very inbuilt nature which the schema is subject to.

I believe stage yellow is primarily the former, and whatever transcends turquoise is primarily the latter.

[Vincent S]

Indeed ??
Its just comes with becoming more aware of the smaller and sneaky details that constructs and ties in the bigger sense of reality. 
Once all the smaller knots unravel, the bigger knot is just left open. And last knot will be a choice for the individual to take, once he/she is ready for it. 

Edited February 27, 2022 by Vincent S

[Vincent S]

1 hour ago, Preety_India said:

Suffering is extremely important for growing empathy. 

 

Sure does. Also gives bigger perspective. 

[John Paul]

Maybe you are suffering because you attached to your past models of reality. You lost them and now you are grieving(?)

[Vincent S]

1 hour ago, John Paul said:

Maybe you are suffering because you attached to your past models of reality. You lost them and now you are grieving(?)

Maybe, Yeah. Did feel a part of me that was grieving. Been through my own “death” during a few meditation + trips.  
Good point ????✨

[puporing]

It could be something more like empathy that even when you are mostly healed, you can’t help but be sensitive to what’s happening around you, since you have been there/to “hell” others may be going through the same. 

[Vincent S]

13 hours ago, puporing said:

It could be something more like empathy that even when you are mostly healed, you can’t help but be sensitive to what’s happening around you, since you have been there/to “hell” others may be going through the same. 

Thats a good point. ????

[Random witch]

Many of us started our early life with suffer caused by parents or environment. This is what some of us got used to, this is where many of us feel safe at. Many of us don't have a good and healthy mental foundation of the psyche because of the characteristics of our society.

When we don't experience suffer in our life we feel unsafe, because we don't know to feel safe without the suffer. The suffer is all we know since age 0.

This is my assumption. It's an unconscious cycle, we feel safe in suffer, we aren't aware to that and when we feel unsafe or bored in life we create this drama, this suffer in our life in order to feel safe again.

We create suffer in our lives and pass it to others, which pass it to others.

 

The cure in my opinion is more awareness to the ways we create suffer in our lifes, living more in the present moment, being more conscious