Internal Retreat Log

[CodyXarex]

I want to forget about myself and who I think I am.

I want to forget about who I am, forget who I think I should be, forget my desires, forget the outcome, exterminate everything that distracts me from getting to know me in reality, excommunicate with everyone who reminds me of who I am or who I was, stop using the internet, stop using drugs, stop using pornography, stop talking to people, stop talking to myself, stop doing everything and just live life. Even if it’s lonely, painful, and boring.

Because no matter where I go, there I am. And so as long as I am mediocre, my life will be mediocre. And no friends or game-playing is going to change that.

[CodyXarex]

Everyone says I need to be myself.

What if the real me is a hateful, angry, vengeful, anti-social, asexual, highly religious piece of shit?