UGLY BOOBS INSECURITY

[Michael569]

https://youtu.be/litXW91UauE

[flowboy]

12 hours ago, Hello1 said:

- What is your opinion on surgery? (I´m quite against it for various reasons) I am mostly interested in men´s opinions

@Hello1 You are against it, so that's all that matters ? Stay true to yourself and you'll attract the right people.

12 hours ago, Hello1 said:

- Is this a kind of problem I can improve by working on my psychology /mind? Or is it just a problem where I need to face the bitter truth?

The truth is not that bitter in my opinion. Some guys are really not boob guys, they care about other things in the looks department like a pretty face and a good ass. Quality of connection of course is always a factor, but in my opinion it's best to have someone who 100% loves your body the way it is, too.

Some guys will think your boobs are sexy. And some guys will wish your boobs looked different. Being in love is not a permanent medicine against that. You need to screen out those guys and not waste any time with them. You can't make someone like something. You can find other guys who love the way your boobs look. So only spend time with those.

I have possibly a similar issue with a 15 cm penis. It looks good and I can use it to give people orgasms, but some women really need more to get off, so I try to work it into the conversation as soon as possible so that they know what they're getting into. Usually that makes them more attracted to me. I've always had a great sex life, but still, sometimes when I don't feel great, I wish it was bigger.

Point being: be really F*ing honest about what you are looking for. You should be looking for a guy who in the looks department is more of an ass man or only cares about a pretty face, or has an unusual taste in boobs which happens to make yours really delicious to him, whatever it is for him, but someone who is physically really attracted to you. And then of course the emotional connection matters a lot, but my point is: an emotional connection doesn't make a guy forget that your physical appearance is not his taste. Eventually that shit will come back to haunt you after the honeymoon period. So always assume there is an abundance of guys who you are exactly their taste for, and screen hard to find them. Then you can invest emotionally with them, build a good connection, and your boobs will be appreciated too.

12 hours ago, Hello1 said:

- Am I limited to find only low quality guys because of that?

Not at all. Just watch out for guys who pretend to like everything about your body, just because they are desperate to get laid. Those are the low quality guys. They will tell you stories to get you to sleep with them, but because the stories will be half-truths, they won't be committed after that.

You need to use your own God-given feminine radar to screen for honesty and authenticity.

12 hours ago, Hello1 said:

- Should I mention my insecurity to my future men? (This is a real dilemma. The fact that confidence is key to attraction conflicts with the awkwardness I feel (or is it just in my head?) when I get undressed and we both know they are ugly and noone talks about the elephant in the room and it´s in the way of feeling relaxed.

Maybe you can do it in a tit-for-tat fashion, where he is honest about his penis length or the amount of minutes he usually lasts in bed, and you can tell him whether you are still excited to get to know him further, and in return he gets to see a picture of your boobs (on your phone, don't send!), and he can tell you to your face whether he's still excited. Don't allow him to lie to please you - abundance of guys who will love your boobs, remember that!!!

12 hours ago, Hello1 said:

Am I entitled to act confident in bed despite my insecurity?

Yes, because if you have selected the right guy who truly loves your looks for other reasons, you won't even feel this insecurity.

12 hours ago, Hello1 said:

Will a man think about better boobs while being with me?

The wrong guy will, the right guy wil just be thinking of you. (Sidenote: men will always fantasize about other women every now and then, this is not necessarily unhealthy or bad, provided it's coming from a place of being happy with you and just their hormones making them desire variety)

12 hours ago, Hello1 said:

Is it a turnoff to not wanna take my bra off?

Yes. I mean this way you are just wasting your time with someone before you know if they are the right guy. Don't hide, you are wasting your time doing that. And yes, it's a turnoff. I personally have no patience for that level of body insecurity.

12 hours ago, Hello1 said:

Ideas on how to be happy in bed with this complication?

Yes, focus 100% of your energy on finding a guy who can honestly tell you that he either loves your boobs or is not boob-focused at all and is more of an ass man, and only invest in the connection and relationship once that is clear.

It won't be a complication at all if you do that.

Looking at your picture, you have a pretty face, which means you can still get high quality guys, as long as you treat yourself as a high quality woman, which means screening hard and not going on a date with a guy who may not be the right fit.

But it takes radical honesty and authenticity.

Which, if you embody those qualities, you will attract men who do that as well.

It's an all-round upgrade to your love life to hide nothing and just be honest.

[Federico del pueblo]

12 hours ago, Hello1 said:

- Is this a kind of problem I can improve by working on my psychology /mind? Or is it just a problem where I need to face the bitter truth?

Not the boobs themselves of course, but the emotional reaction to your boobs for sure.

 

12 hours ago, Hello1 said:

What´s wiser? Hurry with sex with a guy to know if he rejects me for it before I get emotionally invested vs. wait to make him fall in love before sex so that he stops caring about boobs? (I am exactly that kind of person who needs to be in love to have good sex).

What ever feels best to you. What would you do if you were confident about your boobs? Just do that. This strategy of waiting extra long with sex until he is in love etc can backfire a lot, because in all that time you will still worry that he may dislike your boobs. And it's still possible that he dislikes your boobs, I don't think a guy who loves you would then not love you anymore because of boobs, but it's kinda odd if you let him wait extra long to avoid the boobs issue.

You'll have to make yourself vulnerable, so I wouldn't wait extra long with sex (unless this is what you'd do anyway). 

 

12 hours ago, Hello1 said:

What is your opinion on surgery? (I´m quite against it for various reasons) I am mostly interested in men´s opinions.

I wouldn't judge it.

I've had girls who had their boobs changed and I could tell how there probably was a severe self esteem issue around their boobs (because they were still small after surgery, so they must have been tiny before), which is why I could kind of understand their decision.

12 hours ago, Hello1 said:

Am I limited to find only low quality guys because of that?

No. Just make sure you improve what you can. Develop a fun personality. Be confident about your boobs and sexuality. Be hot in the bedroom. Be the girl who does the things in bed that other boring girls don't do.

Recognize and overcome your insecurities.

12 hours ago, Hello1 said:

Should I mention my insecurity to my future men?

Yes. If you're still insecure, then own it. Admit it. Don't worry about the not looking confident thing.

If you have an insecuritiy it's still the most confident thing to admit it. You'd seem more insecure if you tried to hide it.

Own it in a sympathetic, fun kind of way. "And I have to let you know I got funny looking boobs, don't be mean ok? ?"

And as a woman it's not as important to be confident (for attraction). This boobs thing is only one thing. Don't let that colour everything else. You can still be confident as a whole.

13 hours ago, Hello1 said:

Am I entitled to act confident in bed despite my insecurity? (Similar to the point above. Confidence makes attractive but I feel like confidence is only for hot bodies. To be confident feels like to ignore the elephant in the room which makes it awkward doesn´t it?)

Absolutely. You can be a total sex Vamp and a crazy wild b***ch in the bedroom.

Take his dick and slap it on your boobs and say "slap the funny boobs bad boy ?"

Maybe let some porn chicks with small tits inspire you. They have small tits but behave like complete sex goddesses (Sasha Grey, Tori Black).

Let him tit fuck you (well, when they are really small it's more like tit rubbing )

Learn how to give dirty blow jobs etc.

Quote

I feel like confidence is only for hot bodies.

Limiting belief. Let that go.

 

13 hours ago, Hello1 said:

Will a man think about better boobs while being with me?

Always. No matter how hot your boobs are. Men think about others boobs, pussies, mouths etc. They think about getting their dick sucked by two girls simultaneously and sex orgies etc. Everything you could find in porn is something a man might think about some times.

 

13 hours ago, Hello1 said:

Is it a turnoff to not wanna take my bra off?

Absolutely. Maybe you want to have a quick "I'm insecure about my boobs" talk before it to reduce tension.

I've once had a girl undress herself and and then place her hands above her boobs saying "but they're really small" with a shy look. So I was like "I love their size" and she took the hands away. Then she was fine and we could fuck.

13 hours ago, Hello1 said:

Have you experienced that a girl looked worse naked than you expected? Were you disappointed? Turned off? 

That's just what you ask to feed your anxious mind. There's no guarantee ever. It might happen. Embrace it. Don't give a fuck.

 

13 hours ago, Hello1 said:

Ideas on how to be happy in bed with this complication?

- Working on the subconscious mind

- Release techniques, trauma release (EFT/tapping, shadow work)

- mindfulness, acceptance

 

[Leo Gura]

Solution here seems simple: buy yourself a pair of boobs you love.

Sometimes there is a simple solution. Plastic surgery can be overused for supercial reasons. However, when used correctly it can give someone their self-esteem back.

You deserve to feel confident when you're having sex.

Yes, obviously guys you sleep with will care and they will appreciate a nice pair of tits.

[universe]

Honestly tits are pretty overrated.

Women seem to obsess about it so much. It's like when men are insecure about their dick size.

This problem is all in your head. Because you make it such a big deal.

Sex is so much more than just tits.

[Vido]

Maybe this is an American culture thing, but I personally hate plastic surgery for cosmetic reasons unless they had an accident or something. Feels like deception to me.

However, this is just how I FEEL about it. I'm not implying that the act is deceptive.

[Peace-and-Love]

@Hello1 I knew a girl that was a very well known pole dancer and she had the most amazing tits from doing upper chest exercises. They literally looked like implants, but these we’re her natural boobs. Perhaps going to the gym could help? 

I agree with@Preety_India there is definitely some self esteem and insecurity issues that are beyond the boobs. A man should love you beyond your looks. Think about this for a second- think of the married couples/and or long term relationships and women that have babies every year. Some women unfortunately get stretch marks, saggy boobs and wear and tear on their bodies, but their partners still love them unconditionally. Love is long term. Love is deeper than looks. You have more to offer a man/partner than your looks. Your interests, your love, you care, your gifts, etc. You are worth so much more than you think. You are priceless. You are a Goddess, regardless of where you are in your life. 
 

But I honestly do feel where you are coming from. Regardless what anyone says even if the guy likes you for you, you are still going to feel insecure about yourself, and you need to do something about it.  
I had the same problem with my hair. I only felt beautiful if I was blonde for a really long time and no one could convince me out of it. And once I changed my hair to blonde I felt confident and happy again. I eventually grew out of it and I’m now brunette, when I was ready. 

You have to weigh out the right decision for you- exercise, implants, etc.  you’ll feel better if you take care of your body. Research and meditate on your answer. I support you in whatever direction you choose. 
 

 

 

 

[stefm5]

i was feeling insecure about my nose since i was a teenager. i was thinking constantly 'when i grow up i'll have a plastic surgery'. you know what happened? i had an accident with my motorcycle and my nose literally broke into pieces. when they got me to ER doctor said you need plastic surgery asap. so in this weird way i manifested what i always wanted.

to the point, its not about others, its about how you feel about it. if you don't like it take action to change it. god/reality provides the tools. 

[LSD-Rumi]

2 hours ago, universe said:

Honestly tits are pretty overrated.

I see, you are an ass man yourself. But why ass tho? Legend says only real men can answer this question?

[PurpleTree]

3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Solution here seems simple: buy yourself a pair of boobs you love.

Sometimes there is a simple solution. Plastic surgery can be overused for supercial reasons. However, when used correctly it can give someone their self-esteem back.

You deserve to feel confident when you're having sex.

Yes, obviously guys you sleep with will care and they will appreciate a nice pair of tits.

people have died or have complications from breast surgery.

i don't think it's necessarily a great idea.

17 hours ago, Hello1 said:

I used to be extremely fucking insecure about this and even wanted to kill myself (seriously)

 

that's very sad though : (

but if you're less insecure about them now, maybe you'll feel even better about it in the future?

Edited February 25, 2022 by PurpleTree

[TheSunKing]

ugly boobs. does not compute.

[Mason Riggle]

I ditto what @Preety_India said. 

My wife was 35 with 2 kids when I fell in love with her.. tummy, stretch marks, cellulite, saggy boobs..   

I've been turned off by the looks of women who had "better" bodies than hers, because I didn't love them.  My wife, who I fell in love with in an instant, only gets sexier and sexier to me as gravity and the sands of time work against her. 

I think it's a limiting belief that you won't/can't find a guy who finds your boobs to be utterly sexy, however they happen to be. 

[Yarco]

1 hour ago, LSD-Rumi said:

I see, you are an ass man yourself. But why ass tho? Legend says only real men can answer this question?

Ass men are less refined. Poop comes out of butts, they smell and they're gross. When people say they're into asses, it makes me think of baboons and their big red disgusting asses.

Evolutionary it seems lower than being interested in boobs. You're like a caveman, you want to see what you'll see when you're forcibly taking a woman from the next tribe over by force. Doing it from behind is more animalistic.

Refined men appreciate breasts, which they see from the front when having romantic, sensual, emotional, consenting sex with their monogamous long-term partner.

Boobs aren't smelly or hairy. They're the giver of life, as opposed to the producer of waste.

Men also have butts so being interested in women's butts is a little bit gay, like 5%. Someone could show a close-up of a real nice dude's butt and tell you that it belonged to a woman and you wouldn't know the difference. I don't want to ever put myself at risk of accidentally thinking a dude's butt looks nice, so I just refuse to enjoy any butts at all.

(This is mostly a joke, pls chill. If the last paragraph goes too far I'll delete it. Team boobs for real tho)

Edited February 25, 2022 by Yarco

[LSD-Rumi]

@Yarco  Enjoy

 

[Karmadhi]

5 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Solution here seems simple: buy yourself a pair of boobs you love.

Sometimes there is a simple solution. Plastic surgery can be overused for supercial reasons. However, when used correctly it can give someone their self-esteem back.

You deserve to feel confident when you're having sex.

Yes, obviously guys you sleep with will care and they will appreciate a nice pair of tits.

Why dont you suggest surgery also for guys when they have physical insecurities but instead just tell them to love themselves as they are and to improve themselves.

Bit double standardish or is it because you are a guy yourself?

 

[Hello1]

@Karmadhi double standard makes sense here since men are attracted in a different, visual way to a great degree

 

[Leo Gura]

2 hours ago, Karmadhi said:

Why dont you suggest surgery also for guys when they have physical insecurities but instead just tell them to love themselves as they are and to improve themselves.

Bit double standardish or is it because you are a guy yourself?

What surgery is a guy gonna get?

Boob job is easy and works well. Many other surgeries not as much. Hair transplant would be the guy-equivalent of a boob job, and if that makes you feel better about yourself, then get it.

The bottom line is: if you got ugly boobs that's a pretty easy fix.

Also, for girls looks are way more important to their survival than guys.

[PurpleTree]

4 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

What surgery is a guy gonna get?

Boob job is easy and works well. Many other surgeries are not much. Hair transplant would be the guy-equivalent of a boob job, and if that makes you feel better about yourself, then get it.

nose job. or face lifting when older.

i know a guy who lost weight and then cut the skin off.

liposuction is something some guys do as well.

i think you talked about your nose in a vid.

Edited February 25, 2022 by PurpleTree

[integral]

Well if you teeth where really yellow and falling off you would fix it up, its reasonable. 

[PurpleTree]

with plastic surgery you have to take care

 

i know this woman (don't know her well, friend of a friend)

she had some kind of body dysmorphia or an extreme lack of self love.

she started getting plastic surgery and wasn't quite happy. now she has these huge lips and it looks bad and a bit scary imo, it's sad.

i wouldn't tell her it looks bad though because obviously she has a huge issue there.

before all that she looked normal imo cute-ish 

Edited February 26, 2022 by PurpleTree