This getting on my nerves, just do it.

[KoryKat]

Just do it.

 

I overthink.

I will get hung up on a phrase for hours like arguing against it from all angles while I am floating around in my space. Hopefully being productive, mostly not.

 

Why cant I simply do like I was back in summer last year? I just had one of those "mindfulness?? FUCK! I forgot to be doing this again!!" 

I was actively trying to hit my best it seemed like, getting my physical body, mind ,energy all good. Not being LAZYY, like keeping organized clean and tidy. 

 

What happened?

I went back around people I knew. I felt like a king that could take on the best, I showed up at a new job and was like overkilling it... And the echoes of conversations and phrases in mind started sponging up small-town laziness, and it was a morphological unwinding of good habits into old habits, started skipping gym day and 3 months later im suicidal quitting my job on my birthday, because I had 150% at least expected of me by my job, and I was like "nahhh not on my birthday"

 

If i had kept going up instead of going back down, that day could of been my opportunity to prove to myself "I am 150%+" or something, but no...  I regressed

 

"Just do it..."

The cycle has been driving me crazy. I explore every option. Over and over and over it churns. The mind keeps looking everywhere, and nothing happens.  

 

Why do I not restart my morning ritual?

Why do I not have habits I am building?

Its like extreme Peter-Pan never growing up and maintaining a job. Constantly like 10-20-30 ideas, I try to aim for 1-2 things and the brain storms on. I sing and dance through the rhythm of chaos. 

 

I cant think about one thing and just like do it.

I keep running away from myself. I keep forgetting goals. I keep moving and thinking, and I can't sit still and get things done...

 

It is so annnoyyyyinggg!!! 

 

Much love fam

-Kory

Edited February 24, 2022 by KoryKat
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[egoeimai]

Do it before it's too late. Don't let yourself be lost in thoughts.

[universe]

It's good that you are seeing your own patterns.

Sometimes when we deliberately pull ourselves down, it's because we don't feel comfortable or worthy with our new "life".

For example, when you feel like you don't deserve a "good life" or you have the belief that successful people are corrupt/bad.

Same as when you are feeling guilty, accidents are more likely happen.

So if you have done everything else already you might benefit from starting to explore your feelings and beliefs.

 

Otherwise, get a clear vision and then commit to it 100%.

[Preety_India]

Try to improve your mental concentration by focusing on one thing at a time and only on that. Meditation 10 minutes also improves focus. 

Right now your mind is all over the place. 

Keep a journaling habit. 

You need Bullet focus. 

 

[SonataAllegro]

Sounds like you over exerted yourself and burned out. There’s nothing wrong with you for burning out. Try to pay attention to your energy and motivation levels and conserve them. And be softer with yourself. Counterintuitively, your harshness at yourself is not helping you get back on track, it’s throwing you off.

[PepperBlossoms]

I could be totally wrong but you sound like my twin replica.  (I guess this is what I would suggest to my twin me haha)

Read page 87-89 on Flight (or the entire book - I am actually on the section I just suggested haha but it sounds like a good fit actually):  https://blobby.wsimg.com/go/a7124a00-f63c-4010-bbdc-5020f1cf45aa/Complex PTSD_ From Surviving to Thriving ( PDF.pdf

I've been called a child and then looked this up and found this and then the book above https://www.michaelsamsel.com/Content/Individuals/adult_child_syndrome.html

Also, thoughts all the time could be high ideaphoria - it's a skill/talent/aptitude (I have it too)

I've quit jobs too but meh I think it was for the better and they were not something that utilized my strengths.

It's okay to go from doing a lot to doing nothing.  Sometimes seeking calmness when we feel too chaotic can be helpful - like trying to seek stillness, quiet, peace.  This book helped on accepting that: (read first paragraph starting with "Listen" on page 123 of pdf, 124 of the book text) https://www.perfectbrilliantstillness.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/Book-from-PerfectBrilliantStillness.org_.pdf

What has also helped is noticing that the thoughts are not complete and will never necessarily be complete and that we can get trapped in thoughts like when we forget we are watching tv and to notice when oneself is so focused on thoughts and try to back out of that.

Ask yourself - what is going to be the most helpful immediate thing for me and start doing that.

It's okay to have all these different ideas you want to think about.  When that happens to me, I try to write all of them down and then pick one to think about and if I feel I have exhausted that one, I can then go to the next on the list.  Also what helps is typing it so you can write it faster and I guess I like writing because I can see/store the thought and don't have to keep on repeating it over and over again to hold it in my head.  Having a blog (I used wordpress.com, free) can help get those thoughts out.  I've also liked using Microsoft Paint for thoughts as I can use the text function and put them all over the place.  Also its cool to have a large dry erase board and write them on there but note that hand writing will be slower than typing.  Also tools like Scrivener are cool if you want to turn it into a book.  Also, Trello helps (free, Trello.com) for organizing activities and that is a kanban style thing.

Edited February 25, 2022 by PepperBlossoms

[Federico del pueblo]

Just do it!! Now!

[Loba]

@KoryKat Hi Kory, I suffer from some of the problems that you face, and what I do is write in a journal to get the stream of thoughts out.  I don't want to lose them because sometimes they have valuable information about the psyche that I can use later.  I tend to have a lot of thoughts that race around, and will give a lot of my energy on a given task only to get bored or burnt out and give up not much later.

What I have been doing is a daily schedule that is easy for a beginner, and if I miss a day, I just get up and start again the next day.  I also give myself weekends off, so I don't get burnt out.  As the months go by, I will add on more and more to the list, but only if I am able to manage what I have and see some positive results.

So far, I am starting to love myself more, I am gaining more self awareness and my spiritual abilities are getting better.
The things I have added to my daily list are things that will fix a lot of what you are having trouble with:
 

• Sleep 10 hours - if you are burned out and anxious or depressed, you need more rest to heal.
• Work out 1/2 hour to start with and then work up to 1 hour a day.
• Meditate: 5 mins to start and then work up to 30 mins - 1hr a day - a deeper meditation is more important than a longer meditation, you really wanna just focus on being grounded and alert and paying attention to the breath.
• Daily grooming routine - shower, shave, brush teeth all of it, get dressed for the day.

Give yourself time in the day to just heal and Be.  Without the thoughts, just observe what is in the room.

These are little steps that will have the biggest results.  You'll be healthy, well rested, able to concentrate for longer, and have self-respect because you took care of your body.

Let go of your thoughts through meditation, you are getting a mental illness if you don't.  Meditation is the cure for this.

Retrain the mind to experience joy.  This is what is called increasing your vibration.  Try this one for one week, it is very gentle and allows you to go back in your thoughts - the video reminds you to be present again and is imo one of the better beginner videos out there.

In order to just do it - you have resistance.  I do, too, it sucks!  How to build new habits!  This guys advice does work.  Try it with the new habits.

Quote

Notes:

You need to reflect on your life, "Who do you want to be and do with your life."

The topic of habits - we humans are creatures of habit - 40-45 percent of our daily behaviours are habits - almost half of everything you do every day is actually a habit.

Examples - the time you get up, computer games, cell phones, driving a car, eating fast food, exercising.

What do all these behaviours have in common? - Habits are by definition automated behaviours that we repeat over and over again always in the same context or environment and that run un our subconscious mind.  You are not conscious of it because you have done it so many times, you don't have to pay attention, your mind is wandering, but you are not really there.

Example - driving a car - you might drive somewhere, you would arrive and couldn't remember how you got there - because driving has become so habitual.

Habits are triggered by a que - They are rewarded at the end, dopamine is released at the end, it signals to the brain that this is pleasure - reward

Example - every time you get a message or notification a little bit of dopamine is released in the brain.  Companies like Facebook, they program their software so dopamine is released in the brain and why cell phones are so habitual.

Habit loop - a que triggers the behaviour, behaviour carried out, rewarded in the end, dopamine released, because of this we do it again the next time the que comes around - we go through this many, many times and we have many habits and in the background all our habits run through this loop over and over again.

Behaviour of working focused - forest app, you plant a seed on this app and when you don't check your phone for a set amount of time, you plant a tree.  At the end, he would grow a forest at the end of the day and have 7,8,10 trees - he called this his new deep work habit and worked perfectly.

By going through this habit so many times for several weeks, he was changing certain mechanisms and structures in his brain.

What he did was simplified the whole thing a bit, and drew a sketch of his brain.

You will see a network of neurons starting to connect, which are at first week, but after several weeks of repeating the same behaviour over and over again, the connections get thicker and stronger and after four, five, six, weeks, seven, eight, ten times a day, the connections will get even stronger.

There will be a layer of fat wrapped around it called myelin.

What does that mean and why does it help? - Our brains are energy consumers, they eat energy - the human brains weighs two percent and consumed 20 percent of our whole energy supply.

Our brain makes important behaviours cost little energy, meaning the thicker the energy level between each neurons the less energy needed to activate the behaviours. 

We shouldn't invest a lot of energy to go through the behaviour, instead do it often.

Human brain has 100 billion neurons and has trillions of connections and is very complex - despite this complexity, this simple principle still applies - whatever you repeat over and over again, that's what the brain decides is important.

Repetition is what the brain decides is important, and this is crucial.

It doesn't matter if it is something good for you, like exercising or bad like smoking or whether it is something needed like driving a car, whenever there is a lot of repetition and dopamine released in the brain the brain decides is important.

Make your nervous system your ally instead of your enemy. How do we do this?  How do we make our brains our allies and don't let it become our enemy?  It is not easy, but not impossible and it is simple.

Be aware.

Addiction is nothing more than an over expression of a behaviour that turns something negative.  If we can see those processes in action, this is where awareness comes in, we can change them.  If we can't see them we are dead in the water.  Awareness is the basis for learning good habits, and letting go of habits that don't help us.

You have to observe, see and be honest with yourself every day for this to work.

Write down for one week everything that you do and be honest with yourself, be honest about the small behaviours that you have and look at the list and be honest - is that what you want to do every day?

Would you like to change something on it?  Go small steps.  Small steps will let you achieve big things, it might take longer but it is much more likely that you will keep moving.

Get one percent better each day, be consistent, start by reading for five minutes a day a difficult book, meditate for three minutes a day, but keep going, keep doing it for weeks and it will get more eventually.  

At the beginning a new behaviour will hurt, but eventually it will be tolerable and eventually it will feel good and you will miss this when you don't do it and that's the point you want to get to, that is when you have formed a new habit.

These symptoms you describe are the beginning or intermediate stages of a mental illness of some sort, of which I do not know.  You will want to get a handle on that asap.  You will have to take extra special care of yourself.  Sensitive people can often get these problems.  If you allow it to go on too long, it can turn into what is called a thought disorder, which is basically psychosis.
If you can't maintain a schedule at all, and are having a very hard time with executive functioning skills - I would contact a doctor as well and explain your symptoms.  I have bipolar, and I had to go on meds to control mine, and now I am able to do a lot more than I could before and the thoughts do not affect me as much.

Because I'm not a doctor, there is only so much I can do - but what you describe is very similar to what I experienced when in the middle of a psychotic episode.  Especially if you are feeling suicidal, you'll want to talk to someone about that - this is also a bad sign.

Journaling can help a lot.  When I do, it allows me to move past thoughts much quicker and I can find out through awareness if what I am doing is not working out for me.  When I can see my habits written down, and I take the time to accomplish one by one each day, this allows little dopamine hits, which retrains the brain to learn to love doing these positive things.  I use colours and change the colour of the thing I accomplished - I get a little "rush" and then it makes me want to accomplish even more.  Kind of like getting a gold star on a report card or something like that.  

And missing a day or two is okay, just get back up the next day - don't even feel bad because it's going to happen.

Edited February 26, 2022 by Loba