Relapsed again...

[Javfly33]

I burned 300€ in 2-3 hours tonight...along with my first week of february previous relapse, It goes 1100€ burned in this dumb addiction...

Im not sure if i am playing the cards of Life correctly. On one hand i see some progress in my Life, But in others like this relapses It seems like these progress are kinda of "meh".

On one perspective the relapses are the proof that the root/shadow of my psyche its not healed. And Im not really doing shit. Im just going on a wheel. Thinking Im "progressing". On other perspective the relapses are just the "ashes" of the identity and even though i make progress those ashes Will be there for some time until I completely finish the self actualization progres.

On one hand i think i should maybe do a Psychedelic trip because i Dont see Nothing really changes in my Life, on other hand a trip now would probably What always It has been: an avoidance mechanism of not accepting how Life its right now and What i have to do to change It (in a sober way).

Advice?

 

[Loba]

I have some notes and a tedtalk on how to change habits in my journal here, maybe this will help?
It goes in depth on how to slowly change bad habits to good ones - something I am working on.
Try to get back up and try again, it's okay to fail every once in a while as long as you keep trying.
Just wipe off the dirt, carry on and keep at it.  Tomorrow is a new day!  

[patricknotstar]

2 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

I burned 300€ in 2-3 hours tonight...along with my first week of february previous relapse, It goes 1100€ burned in this dumb addiction...

Im not sure if i am playing the cards of Life correctly. On one hand i see some progress in my Life, But in others like this relapses It seems like these progress are kinda of "meh".

On one perspective the relapses are the proof that the root/shadow of my psyche its not healed. And Im not really doing shit. Im just going on a wheel. Thinking Im "progressing". On other perspective the relapses are just the "ashes" of the identity and even though i make progress those ashes Will be there for some time until I completely finish the self actualization progres.

On one hand i think i should maybe do a Psychedelic trip because i Dont see Nothing really changes in my Life, on other hand a trip now would probably What always It has been: an avoidance mechanism of not accepting how Life its right now and What i have to do to change It (in a sober way).

Advice?

 

relapsed on what , gambling addiction?

[Ulax]

Relapse is part of recovery, dude.

What is your addiction centred around?

[Preety_India]

My suggestion. 

1. Understand the Problem

You can’t fix something that you don’t understand. To eliminate gambling from your life, you must learn about the issue and admit you have a gambling problem.

You might have a gambling disorder if you have:

The powerful need to gamble with larger amounts of money

Feelings of restlessness or irritability when not gambling

Made repeated and unsuccessful attempts to quit gambling

Found yourself completely preoccupied with gambling

Noticed you gamble to manage stress

Continued gamble to “get even”

Lied to friends, coworkers and loved ones about gambling

Lost relationships or created conflict about gambling

Needed financial support

Be honest with yourself when you look over the symptoms of gambling disorder, or even better, ask a loved one about their opinion of your gambling for a clearer understanding. Stop denying and start seeing the negative effect gambling has on your life

2. Join a Support Group

Now that you have recognized the problem, you can seek assistance from a support group. Support groups are organizations maintained by people with similar experiences and pasts. Though support groups lack professional interventions, they are free to try out in person or in online chat rooms.

Gamblers Anonymous is one support group specifically built around the needs of people with gambling problems. The group is based around the familiar 12-step approach used by other support groups like Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous.

3. Avoid Temptation

Gambling is a temptation, but seeing gambling as an addiction is a significant step because it permits you to use skills from addiction recovery and relapse prevention. For someone in recovery, avoiding people, places and activities linked to gambling can help them avoid a setback. By avoiding these triggers, you can avoid the thoughts and feelings that encourage gambling.

So, if driving by a casino after work sparks thoughts of gambling, take an alternative way home. If watching sports makes you want to bet on it, consider watching something else. Cut up your credit cards and let your spouse handle the checkbook.

It may seem like an inconvenience, but just as a person with a drinking problem should not go into a bar, you have to identify and avoid your triggers. Work with a loved one on your list of triggers and find ways to avoid the temptations to reduce the risk of gambling.

4. Postpone Gambling

With addictions, there are cravings. Cravings are strong urges to complete the desired behavior. As a gambler, you could have cravings to call your bookie, go to the casino, cash your paycheck or other behaviors linked to gambling.

Cravings are intense, and while you are in the middle of one, it feels like it could last forever. It will not, though. All cravings have a beginning, middle and end. So as long as you can postpone your gambling, you can maintain recovery.

An excellent way to approach this issue is by paying attention to your cravings, what they feel like, what you think about during the craving and how long it tends to last. By studying the craving, you begin to take away its control over you.

Once you build an understanding of the situation, you can list a set of thoughts or actions to distract from the gambling. Perhaps, deep breathing or calling a friend when a craving hits will be the best ways to postpone gambling.

5. Find Alternatives to Gambling

Avoiding triggers and distracting during cravings are great ways to deal with gambling, but to improve your state, you’ll need to find healthy alternatives to gambling. By replacing gambling behaviors with positive ones, you shift the focus away from the bad and towards the good.

Some gambling alternatives include:

Physical activity (e.g., going for walks, weightlifting, team sports or yoga)

Meditation

Spending more time with friends and family who do not gamble

Volunteering at a hospital or animal shelter

Exploring new hobbies

Traveling

Just think of the fun, beneficial alternatives you can explore with the extra money you have from not gambling.

6. Think About the Consequences

Shame and guilt are strong feelings for anyone in recovery from addiction. Shame and guilt can be dangerous because too much of them can encourage people to relapse, but some levels of shame and guilt can motivate you to stay in recovery.

Think about the consequences of your past gambling to avoid gambling in the future. Think about:

The emotional pain you caused your loved ones

The financial hardships you put your family in

Any lies you told to disguise your addiction from others

Try not to dwell on past behavior, and only use it for motivation to avoid gambling in the future. Too much shame or guilt can be counterproductive.

Seek Professional Help(if nothing works) 

If your gambling is severe, consider seeking professional help as soon as possible. 

Hope this helps. 

 

Edited February 24, 2022 by Preety_India

[Raptorsin7]

@Javfly33 Do you have a teacher of some kind?

I think we can only get so far by working alone on the path. 

I've found that you almost absorb the energy and perspectives of quality teachers, it's like they rub off on you.

Take some time to find a quality teacher and I bet you will make progress, and you won't have to second guess yourself

[BipolarGrowth]

You could try to find a healthy “addiction” that’s more rewarding than your current addiction. You go to behavior that you know is in ways detrimental because you are lacking something in some area. Having a healthy way to relieve this lack could be a more likely solution than trying to reverse your psychology drastically. Another thing could be to systematically work to reduce anything which might create this sort of lack feeling that leads you to use your addictive substance/behavior. 
 

You can apply a concept Leo uses at times which he calls requisite variety to this situation. 
 

There is a solution to your addiction. You simply have not tried the right thing, or more likely the right combination of a number of things, to overcome this yet. If you try enough solutions in an intelligent way, the likelihood that you come out on top of this is pretty high. 

[Javfly33]

20 hours ago, patricknotstar said:

relapsed on what , gambling addiction?

nope,... its way more fucked up LoL

20 hours ago, Ulax said:

Relapse is part of recovery, dude.

What is your addiction centred around?

Something fucked up sexually

17 hours ago, BipolarGrowth said:

You could try to find a healthy “addiction” that’s more rewarding than your current addiction. You go to behavior that you know is in ways detrimental because you are lacking something in some area. Having a healthy way to relieve this lack could be a more likely solution than trying to reverse your psychology drastically. Another thing could be to systematically work to reduce anything which might create this sort of lack feeling that leads you to use your addictive substance/behavior. 
 

You can apply a concept Leo uses at times which he calls requisite variety to this situation. 
 

There is a solution to your addiction. You simply have not tried the right thing, or more likely the right combination of a number of things, to overcome this yet. If you try enough solutions in an intelligent way, the likelihood that you come out on top of this is pretty high. 

i think its too powerful, This shit its like crack

 

Having said that guys, I´m not really concerned with the addiciton. I mean yeah it wastes me money AF but I know the main problem its other.

I´m probably droppping some psychedelic on saturday, need a wake up call/learn to let go a or im going to fuck up my life If I continue like this.

[BipolarGrowth]

@Javfly33 how many people have quit crack with less understanding and development than you? 

[Javfly33]

23 minutes ago, BipolarGrowth said:

@Javfly33 how many people have quit crack with less understanding and development than you? 

what u mean haha. Not sure if I understand your question buddy

[Thought Art]

Sex? Maybe learn about dating and pick up to get those needs met. Probably not an addiction maybe. 
 

if it’s prostitution I understand though never did it. Sort of wish I had tried it when living in Amsterdam.

Go talk to someone! Spend that money on a therapist and then go meet some women. 

[Javfly33]

Findom...

[Thought Art]

@Javfly33 first time I heard of it interesting 

[Terell Kirby]

32 minutes ago, Javfly33 said:

Findom...

How did you fall into this? Do they give you sex for money?

[Javfly33]

1 minute ago, Terell Kirby said:

How did you fall into this? Do they give you sex for money?

I falled After a couple of years of being into Femdom Pov clips .

No, with luck they Will send you a Pic

 

[Thought Art]

Innnnnterrsting

[Javfly33]

20 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

Innnnnterrsting

Hahahaha 

[Javfly33]

From my experience, I Its basically based on a Deep terrorific pain of humiliation, shame about yourself, and injustice from Girls that you think they hate you or you Dont deserve. It gets particularly painful when after a findom session you talk to her trying to make her feel empathy for you , saying how much suffering this gives you, and help you, she does and makes You feel better. You think you Dont hate her so much anymore now. Maybe she and I, we are not that different. But at the Next day you see shes receiving money from other Guy with no spark of remorse. Thats when i experience an unbearable level of suffering and injustice i couldn't put into words. But its the kind that makes You wonder if Life its even worth living.  @Thought Art 

Edited February 25, 2022 by Javfly33

[Thought Art]

Innnnntersting. Emotions I know well .. the sort of feeling of being worthless 

 

ego is a funny thing.

when you realize how easily you could get a girl it might feel disappointed in how easy it is an want it to be hard 

but you’ll figure it out 

Your a lot more valuable than you feel

Edited February 25, 2022 by Thought Art

[BipolarGrowth]

21 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

what u mean haha. Not sure if I understand your question buddy

You said “This shit is like crack.” I was assuming by this you’re saying your addiction is similar to crack in how addictive it is.
 

I was saying that there are plenty of people who do not know hardly anything about personal development who were able to quit crack. It seems to me that you likely have more knowledge and skills that might help one move past addiction than many others who were able to successfully overcome addiction.