Reverting to Childmind at Depressed/Anxious States

[PepperBlossoms]

We go back to it but then it doesn't last long when we allow ourselves to see the nuances.  It can be hard to get yourself to continue to believe a lie when you identify it as one.

No one likes me, loves me, cares about me.  I don't have any real friends.  My family doesn't want me.  -This is not true.  People do talk to you and you talk with them.  They enjoy you and you enjoy them.  You like being around people but also enjoy your alone time too.

I am not good at/capable of anything.  I was so bad at my job.   -You are great at some stuff and not great at other stuff.  You have the potential if you chose to go for it.  You have worked hard in the past and everyone has stuff they are good/bad at.  You can get better at stuff too.  You can try to tackle the barriers if you need to.

I have to move to a city where I don't know anyone and do a soulless, low wage job.  I am going to be all alone.  -You can find a job you enjoy.  You have a degree you can use.  You can either be in a city where you already know people or go to a new city and find new people.  You don't like being alone so the odds are you will seek out people till you find some even if it takes awhile.

--- I find myself reverting to thoughts like these during down moments but can see that they aren't fully true but yet sometimes say them anyway - but then can see they are trying to pull me down but yet, if I/we see that they aren't fully valid, it can be hard for them to keep on having an impact.

Edited February 22, 2022 by PepperBlossoms

[PepperBlossoms]

So a thought I had was - well why the heck do we have this reaction in the first place?  Why is it so common? (or so I assume it may be common but who knows)

Well, if it starts when we are kids, as kids we don't have much experience with different things and hence may tend to think in black/white all or nothing thinking.  It isn't until we are older that we get more experience and can add more nuance.

Black/white thinking can flip flop from completely good to completely bad so the above is completely bad.  Because we are feeling an intense negative emotion at the time, our thinking may match that and so it is going to be matched with the completely bad thoughts which seem to be poking at a lack of feeling love.

[MilenaS]

It is deep what you wrote in the beginning: that the law state lasts shortly if we are quick to realize its function, its purpose. When we realize what those thoughts really are, they loose their power over us. 

It's great that you realized that you can speak to those thoughts and reframe them, exposing them from their power and meaning. This is the true work of changing who you are on a cognitive level.