Sensitivity Spectrums

[PepperBlossoms]

I've had struggles from being very sensitive so I made this spectrum to better understand it:

1 - Cannot calm self down for entire month/year; holds grudges; almost no skills in handling emotions, hard situations, and hard topics; blames others; doesn't really seek help

2 - Self tries to use logic/feeling to sort things out; may talk/write about the issue; may take week/month(s)

3 - Self is getting better at seeing delusions; self has explored methods of how to calm down; self will still struggle with cooperating while sensitive but can calm down within a few minutes but does have to stop activity to feel more comfortable

4 - Self does not have to stop activity and can still power through it while still feeling sensitive; self is aware that self's sensitivity has potential to breed un-cooperation; self is aware that the moment is temporary and that self can detach some to not take it so seriously; self practices self love while trying to power through

5 - Self doesn't really get bothered by much; fully functional; can process most ideas

What do we get sensitive about??

WORDS - Demeaning ideas about exterior body/interior personality traits; demeaning ideas about our job potential, past performances, ideas, relationships, creations

ACTIVITIES - Poor performance, results, outcome; rejection, disappointment, impatience; loneliness, abandonment; reality interpretations; noise, lights; lack of empathy, ability to relate; annoying, unfairness; lack of sleep, food, shelter, money

What is sensitivity anyway??

When we cannot yet attempt to identify or sort through delusion, misunderstanding, poor advice, intentions, lack of skill, danger, lack of experience, lack of proper expectations, lack of executable plans, lack of responsibility, lack of structure, lack of distinction, lack of knowledge.  We have a lack of solidified understanding, expectations, plan, identity, values.  We feel confused, angry, hurt, unsure.

[PepperBlossoms]

Spectrum of Sensitivity Reactions

1 - property damage, hitting, injuring

2 - threatening, bully, harass, intimidate, demean

3 - cry, anger, complain, walk away, refuse to cooperate, separate, block

4 - feel nothing, numb, mute, detached

5 - agree for sake of moving along

6 - try to understand/appreciate

7 - work with/together

Note that different situations may call for different responses and one may also have their options to choose from based on skill/experience.

Edited February 22, 2022 by PepperBlossoms

[PepperBlossoms]

Two things that I have also learned is that to be better at being able to stay in the activity and not feel like you have to take a break (#4 of the first post), (1) focus on your breathing and also (2) try to see the love in the situation from both person's perspectives. 

I saw a video where, to prevent dissociation, you draw a square with your finger and when you go up, you breathe in for 4 seconds, go across and breath out for 6, go down and breathe in for 4 seconds, and go across and breathe out for 6.  (Or something like that).  There are also other breathing and dissociation techniques too.  Another comment is that if you choose dissociation and decide to not listen, tune out, you are going to be deliberately missing what is happening and you could be making it worse for yourself (although not necessarily).  If someone is talking to you and because you aren't listening to the words, you may only hear the tone and you may find the tone scary but if you had listened to the words, you may have found that the message was rather - please listen to me, please don't abandon me, please be here now - and maybe it is upsetting the speaker because they have experienced neglect.  (But there are so many different scenarios).  You could be making them more angry by not listening/responding and yourself more scared by things seeming to not get any better and feeling like it is never going to end.

When we try to see their perspective and how it can be loving, it can make it less scary and more reason to stay in the moment.  Both people could be acting out of love and wanting love but both people could be misinterpreting the other person's perspective and ignoring their needs.