*Need Advice* Starting from the bottom. Where should I begin?

[Adrian-]

Hey guys, I hope someone can help me with this issue I'm having. 

I have no idea where to start with personal development and self actualization. Maybe I have analysis paralysis but I fear the problem is much deeper than that. I've known about personal development and Leo's channel for over 6 years now. There was a point where Leo and a couple other spiritual channels were all i was watching. 

But thats the thing, I was simply "watching" these videos. I never made any actual effort to apply what I was absorbing. And I'm not even sure I was absorbing any of it. I've been watching Leo for 6 years and I wouldn't be able to explain any of what he has said to someone if they asked. Thinking about it now this leads me to believe theres something wrong with me. At this point i'm afraid that i'm just not capable of learning what Leo is teaching. Everything he says resonates with me deeply but my actions dont reflect that. I want more than anything to "do the fucking work" as Leo puts it and really see some results for my life. I just don't know where to start.

A bit about my life:

I'm 23 years old. I was introduced to spirituality by my ex girlfriend when I was 17. before then I would spend my time playing video games with my friends or surf youtube watching nonsense videos for hours. Shortly after I was introduced to spirituality, I developed schizophrenia. (you dont show any signs of schizophrenia until about 17-18) So the spiritual teachings I was being exposed to felt extra mystical and special. but what i believed to be a spiritual awakening was nothing more than a psychotic episode. I struggled with this illness undiagnosed with no medical treatment for 5 years. It wasnt until last year that I was hospitalized and properly treated with the right medication. 

All that to say I feel like I'm starting from the absolute bottom. I feel like those 5 years were completely wasted. Those years, (16-21) are the most critical in my opinion for learning essential principles and morals for the life you will lead moving forward. Now I'm 23 and I have trouble socializing, articulating my words, verbalizing my thoughts and struggle with the most elementary elements of being an adult. 

I say I want to self actualize, but I still do the very same things I was doing when I was 14. I feel like a child.

BUT!!!!!!

I know theres hope for me. I want more than anything to become the person i know i can be. It's really all i think about. unfortunately I don't even know the question to which i'm trying to find an answer for. I don't know where to begin with self inquiry or any of it for that matter. I know that my vision should be clear and although I can feel the feeling of what i want my life to look like, I cant even begin to think of where to start.

I hope I explained myself well, and I hope someone can help me with my Issue. Thank you for taking the time out to read this and I wish everyone the best. Thank you.

[Snader]

Hello and welcome to the forum!

No worries there, you're still young and have enough time to create the life you want. The most important thing is that you're motivated to do that.

I wouldn't worry about describing personal development to people, because most of that stuff is held within your intuition and intuition can be hard to express via words.

1) People have different opinions and perspectives, but IMO one of the most important cornerstones for personal development is understanding practical developmental psychology. Spiral Dynamics is a great model and Leo has a series on that. It gives you context on what is going on with your life and helps you understand the world around you. In case you are already familiar with it, I suggest refreshing your mind on that from time to time.

2) You should focus on the basic social skills you're lacking. No amount of self-inquiry will solve that for you. You will need those skills in the future and when you really roll up your sleeves and start working on them, you get to see improvements pretty quickly. First move could be pushing yourself into social situations. It is out of your comfort zone, but that's where you really want to go. That way you really become better.

3) Leo's products. His book list has a huge amount of quality books with great practises from many different categories. Those books there about basic psychology are really top notch and I myself used them to improve many aspects of my life such as confidence, self-esteem, overall attitude towards life and other social skills. He also have the life purpose course that help you find direction in life.

4) This forum. Don't know if you've been passively active already, but this forum is a quality source of personal development material and also like-minded people you can socialise with.

5) Oh yeah, and diet! I'm myself becoming more and more conscious on the importance of what I put into my body. Many people don't appreciate it, but your diet really is by big part responsible for your energy and ability to focus.

If you're into spirituality as well, it's smart to keep some practices in place, but I wouldn't focus too seriously on spirituality at this point. Meditation is a great practise to have and some contemplation and self-inquiry for sure, but try to put your main attention into developing basic skills and becoming a functional human being.

Hope that gave some ideas for the future. Anyways you're on the right track

[itachi uchiha]

 read
 mastery by george leonard
 mastery by robert greene
 tiny habits by bj fogg
 
 after reading ,contemplate on each of the book for 3 min a day.that is  a total of 9 min a day. u need to do it every single day for the rest of your life. within 4 or 5 years of daily doing this, u can expect mind blowing results. after 5 years  of daily contemplation u will have the practical knowledge that will enable u to change anything.

[Preety_India]

I'd recommend that you do basic self help at this stage and not think too much about spirituality. You are just in the beginner stage. Everything can get very confusing to you right away. Be patient. Start with the fundamentals like PD and then gradually improve from there. 

 

[SgtPepper]

take steps towards where you would like to go.

If you want some practical activities and reading, I would highly recommend Tony Robbin's book awaken the giant within, or even Leo's personal development videos are amazing honestly. 

If you can slowly change habits and build up to awesome ones, and change the way you're thinking and reflecting on things, I think you may reach places you never thought were possible. 

[aurum]

@Adrian- reading books, diet, basic socializing and basic mediation. That’s where I’d start. It’s all pretty low hanging fruit but can change your life completely.

[Raze]

1) start a basic meditation practice. You can try unified mindfulness for a free online one. Or get the mind illuminated and start. The importance is doing it every day even for 10 minutes. Allow this to build up for later, for now don’t focus on spirituality. You pronanlt wont have major progress for a while which is fine because for now focus on material life.

you can use meditation to also help your goals https://www.shinzen.org/positive-behavior-change/

2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1R3zIvZqCAQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SuZ_f4oANGE&t=1054s

focus in stages, don’t worry about advanced things like stage yellow or enlightenment. Start small and practical.

i recommend Tony Robbins books. Read and apply them. The focus should be basic things like a job, gym, making friends and getting used to socializing

remove things from your life that kill concentration like social media, YouTube, or porn. If you still have trouble applying it try reading psyco-cybernetics.

make a schedule.

3. Socializing is mostly practice.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ulu6TOu-gqs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qu-wFuDqZws

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dyx1X3yBxao

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCZdJiGSk8g

4. If you continue to self sabotage or procrastinate get therapy, I recommend IFS.

Don’t use Leo’s videos aside from his earlier ones related to basic life. Don’t worry about his spiral dynamics or deeper spirituality or enlightenment stuff for at least a couple years.

5. Limit how much you consume self help content if it’s a way you procrastinate. Maybe limit yourself to one or two a week. Instead watch short motivational vids to encourage yourself.

Edited February 23, 2022 by Raze

[Loving Radiance]

Sound advice here!

@Adrian-

I'd add contemplation using a journal. Together with mindfulness from your meditation or yoga practice you develop deep, nuanced and powerful thinking abilities when you contemplate every day. Intuition, thinking ability and introspection skyrocketted for me.

Look at your goals, imagine what skills you need for them and decide what practices, habits and meta-habits are suitble for you.

[KoryKat]

 

EDIT: You have issues with not doing things. 

Basically, it is Negative Consciousness , you can do 4-7-8 breathing w/ gratitude and attitude of effortlessness to switch to Positive.

 

You can get practice facing this shadow/demon/lower directly consciousness by cold shower / Wim Hof breathing. (Try to manage meditation/flow state while taking a cold shower!)

 

Pomodoro timer is good. Harsh punishment as accountability is great (pay $20 if u dont).  Have a list of reasons WHY that motivate you... (Imagine you had to pay $1,000,000 if u failed... Imagine all your dreams coming true and how you would feel to see it as reality if you succeeded) you can use self-hypnosis and like Tony Robbins sudden burst of physical energy (go fucking nuts cheering for yourself , get emotional state to 10/10) 

 Work on process-oriented goals (doing 1 minute versus just doing it) and tune-in to your Flow State (parasympathetic with gratitude/effortless mindset) 

Keep doing the smallest achieveable step you can. 

Wanna start the gym?

Put your shoes on! FUCK YES! WOOHOO!   Now rinse repeat, going 1 step further... 1 rep? SUCCESS!!   Get used to the habit in reflections and CONSISTENCY IS KEY. GET MOMENTUM!  

 

Self-Talk - Brian Tracy's goal setting video, use it for self-talk like "I am getting up to do 1 minute of work now!"

(Avoid trying to persuade yourself, just stick to your motivations (different motivations for your lower and higher consciousness) 

I like to tap into my identity at the cosmic-level (level 3 i call it, not the same thing as the higher energy-vibration of consciousness) , there is some deeper shit on it... Like self-realizing that you are the eternal energy of the cosmos from the Big Bang as an infinite creator aka "God" (however u like) and everything is merely your mind as a VR-headset simulating the reality you want to see 

 

 

 

 

SORRY, INFORMATION OVERLOAD AHEADh

Who are you?  

What is reality? 

Let's start with Wilber' AQAL framework for a Reality Overview "All Quadrants , All Lines ,Levels, States T,ypes
4 Quadrants of Reality
Reality seems to come back to the Points-of-View, 1st , 2nd , 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th (consciousness can become Aware of its own awareness) and go to higher levels of perspective in the mind

States of Consciousness - (im rusty on Wilber's version Gross/Subtle/Casual , but I will highlight Nondual   and Dualism     , Dualism is Yin and Yang, Nondualism is Oneness   ... (like people take psychedelics to feel this Oneness state)

Levels/Stages - (Vertical Personality Development)  I like Terri OFallons StagesInternational ,  Spiral Dynamics SDi is the most popular, Maslow Heirarchy is is the original, and  David Hawkins is one of the my favorites  Levels of Consciousness

Lines of Development ( like how well you can detect flavors , or notice aesthetics) 

Types - (Horizontal Personality Development) aka  Big 5, MBTI, Enneagram, etc...   (MBTI is flawed pseudoscience, but worth checking out)  

 You see, consciousness can be separated like Lower / Neutral / Higher      , which seems to be directly caused by Sympathetic or Parasympathetic Nervous System dominance... which is controlled via breath 4-7-8 (lifehack to change negative to positive) 

Consciousness operates Bottom-Up , not Top-Down... so   'being'>feeling > thinking .   (see Consciousness )

 Triune Brain Theory    Start with "Why"  

Cultivate your Self-Talk to be a Self-Relationship. I play both the "devil" and "angel" and its give-and-take , there have been times it was toxic, and now there are boundaries like I will punish that "devil" side with cold showers and breathing exercises if it personally attacks...  (learn to love the company as time with yourself, not "being alone")

There are like 3 levels of identity (ego-based, then ?? , then cosmic-based...  , reconfiguring your Identity to be a Level 3 Identity is a BIGGG upgrade

KEY POINTS

- DEPROGRAMMING - CAN NOT BE UNDERSTATED  (Beliefs are not real, just the effects)   (Emotions are strategies to outcome)  (Thoughts are deceptive)     Letting Go (a powerful technique for many problems)

- CRITICAL-THINKING   (my strategy Radical Openmindedness + Healthy Skepticism)

- The delusional trap?  Watch out:  Skepticism is a dangerous tool when Self-Bias is unchecked (like objective verification)

-The great misunderstanding is that Science is totally objective truth, except it is self-biased to its own objective perspective as the only truth...   which is a flawed assumption.        Science is just now admitting this in 2022 "Rethinking the Definition of Reality"      Everyone is actually simulating reality as Consciousness, and mistaking their perception and interpretation  for the real thing.  "People dont' believe what they see, they see what they believe"   
 

Audit Yourself! (Creating notes then seeing patterns as you reflect across a number of instances is OP! )

 

David Hawkins Map of Consciousness Explained  (there is a Part 2 on her channel)

Personally, this is what has blown my mind recently:  7 Hermetic Principles of the Kyballion

Also I'm impressed by Joseph Rodriguez - he has been covering  Napolean Hill (super popular), Joseph Murphy, Neville Goddard... this Power of the Subconscious Mind is a great one I thought

Meditation is  a huge deal (coming back to this later)

How to Learn and Teach (leaked pdf)

How to Speak
 

MUST WATCH documentary Superhuman World of the Iceman (WIM HOF!!))

Avoid the channels  Spirit Science, and Gaia  imo, they both seem like bullshit.

Leo's videos God-Realization Explanation, and the one regarding Neediness and Lonliness were some that helped me  (Actualized Clips!) 
also his videos on Meta (content vs structure) and (superpower)
Metacognition , Metaperspective, MetaAwareness, etc

Escaping Ordinary channel is good
Tom Bilyeu channel is good (Impact Clips)
Optimize.me and app (comprehensive crash courses for lots of topics)

things I didn't cover
Habits
Mindsets (Abundance vs Scarcity)  (Fixed vs Open)
Principles (Leose's list of Principles is a great piece)
Integral Life Practice handout (Wilber)
Paradigms (cant solve a problem at same level it was created aka change your paradigm!)

Eckhart Tolle
Chakras (i know little but think they seem solid)
Yoga (as underrated as Philosophy itself probably, but Im a noob here also)

Enlightenment
Biohacking
Science of Optimal Mind - Dan Brown (Science of Awakening)

"just be yourself" as flawed advice.

 

Left brain - focuses on the reality as individual bits of info 

Right brain - holistic osmosis  (see TedTalk Stroke of Insight) 

Pomodoro (concentration timer, take 5-15 minute breaks to "zone out" aka Diffusion mode)

 

Process-orientation > perfection-orientation (take 1 step, meditate for 1 minute, focus on process mastery)

 

Character

Virtues

Values (systems of values being linked to our stage of perspective on Spiral Dynamics , which is a major reason people disagree = different value systems) 

Worldviews (the epitome of Paradigm-tech, Leo says they are like Master Keys)

Chinese? Worldview - Flow States! (See Flow and Psychology of Optimal Happiness) 

Buddhist  worldview? , Attachment = suffering? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Find your "thing" - Ikigai venne diagram.  

 

Consumerism vs Creationism 

 

 

 

 

Im having fun wriing this, but will have to come back later!

Much Love 
- Kory

Edited February 23, 2022 by KoryKat

[Husseinisdoingfine]

Everyone here is confusing him with too much theory! 
 

@Adrian- I highly recommend you just buy the Actualized.org book list and start working your way through it. As well as the Life Purpose Course.

Don’t confuse yourself with too much theory.

[RobertZ]

One thing that has helped me is, ‘drink beer and eat extra yummy food every Sunday. Celebrate on Sundays.’ 

You talk about the “bottom,” as if there were an edifice of life you might build—virtues, relationships, prosperity, and all that good stuff. Maybe start something easy but proven by thousands of years: 

There is an old tradition called the “week.” The idea is a 7-day cycle, with one day a week of rest, joy, celebration, and family. So make an effort, one set day a week, to live large—eat, drink, and be merry.

”Yay, today is Sunday!”

Edited February 24, 2022 by RobertZ

[JDaniel Richer]

On 2/23/2022 at 4:55 PM, KoryKat said:

 

EDIT: You have issues with not doing things. 

Basically, it is Negative Consciousness , you can do 4-7-8 breathing w/ gratitude and attitude of effortlessness to switch to Positive.

 

You can get practice facing this shadow/demon/lower directly consciousness by cold shower / Wim Hof breathing. (Try to manage meditation/flow state while taking a cold shower!)

 

Pomodoro timer is good. Harsh punishment as accountability is great (pay $20 if u dont).  Have a list of reasons WHY that motivate you... (Imagine you had to pay $1,000,000 if u failed... Imagine all your dreams coming true and how you would feel to see it as reality if you succeeded) you can use self-hypnosis and like Tony Robbins sudden burst of physical energy (go fucking nuts cheering for yourself , get emotional state to 10/10) 

 Work on process-oriented goals (doing 1 minute versus just doing it) and tune-in to your Flow State (parasympathetic with gratitude/effortless mindset) 

Keep doing the smallest achieveable step you can. 

Wanna start the gym?

Put your shoes on! FUCK YES! WOOHOO!   Now rinse repeat, going 1 step further... 1 rep? SUCCESS!!   Get used to the habit in reflections and CONSISTENCY IS KEY. GET MOMENTUM!  

 

Self-Talk - Brian Tracy's goal setting video, use it for self-talk like "I am getting up to do 1 minute of work now!"

(Avoid trying to persuade yourself, just stick to your motivations (different motivations for your lower and higher consciousness) 

I like to tap into my identity at the cosmic-level (level 3 i call it, not the same thing as the higher energy-vibration of consciousness) , there is some deeper shit on it... Like self-realizing that you are the eternal energy of the cosmos from the Big Bang as an infinite creator aka "God" (however u like) and everything is merely your mind as a VR-headset simulating the reality you want to see 

 

 

 

 

SORRY, INFORMATION OVERLOAD AHEADh

Who are you?  

What is reality? 

Let's start with Wilber' AQAL framework for a Reality Overview "All Quadrants , All Lines ,Levels, States T,ypes
4 Quadrants of Reality
Reality seems to come back to the Points-of-View, 1st , 2nd , 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th (consciousness can become Aware of its own awareness) and go to higher levels of perspective in the mind

States of Consciousness - (im rusty on Wilber's version Gross/Subtle/Casual , but I will highlight Nondual   and Dualism     , Dualism is Yin and Yang, Nondualism is Oneness   ... (like people take psychedelics to feel this Oneness state)

Levels/Stages - (Vertical Personality Development)  I like Terri OFallons StagesInternational ,  Spiral Dynamics SDi is the most popular, Maslow Heirarchy is is the original, and  David Hawkins is one of the my favorites  Levels of Consciousness

Lines of Development ( like how well you can detect flavors , or notice aesthetics) 

Types - (Horizontal Personality Development) aka  Big 5, MBTI, Enneagram, etc...   (MBTI is flawed pseudoscience, but worth checking out)  

 You see, consciousness can be separated like Lower / Neutral / Higher      , which seems to be directly caused by Sympathetic or Parasympathetic Nervous System dominance... which is controlled via breath 4-7-8 (lifehack to change negative to positive) 

Consciousness operates Bottom-Up , not Top-Down... so   'being'>feeling > thinking .   (see Consciousness )

 Triune Brain Theory    Start with "Why"  

Cultivate your Self-Talk to be a Self-Relationship. I play both the "devil" and "angel" and its give-and-take , there have been times it was toxic, and now there are boundaries like I will punish that "devil" side with cold showers and breathing exercises if it personally attacks...  (learn to love the company as time with yourself, not "being alone")

There are like 3 levels of identity (ego-based, then ?? , then cosmic-based...  , reconfiguring your Identity to be a Level 3 Identity is a BIGGG upgrade

KEY POINTS

- DEPROGRAMMING - CAN NOT BE UNDERSTATED  (Beliefs are not real, just the effects)   (Emotions are strategies to outcome)  (Thoughts are deceptive)     Letting Go (a powerful technique for many problems)

- CRITICAL-THINKING   (my strategy Radical Openmindedness + Healthy Skepticism)

- The delusional trap?  Watch out:  Skepticism is a dangerous tool when Self-Bias is unchecked (like objective verification)

-The great misunderstanding is that Science is totally objective truth, except it is self-biased to its own objective perspective as the only truth...   which is a flawed assumption.        Science is just now admitting this in 2022 "Rethinking the Definition of Reality"      Everyone is actually simulating reality as Consciousness, and mistaking their perception and interpretation  for the real thing.  "People dont' believe what they see, they see what they believe"   
 

Audit Yourself! (Creating notes then seeing patterns as you reflect across a number of instances is OP! )

 

David Hawkins Map of Consciousness Explained  (there is a Part 2 on her channel)

Personally, this is what has blown my mind recently:  7 Hermetic Principles of the Kyballion

Also I'm impressed by Joseph Rodriguez - he has been covering  Napolean Hill (super popular), Joseph Murphy, Neville Goddard... this Power of the Subconscious Mind is a great one I thought

Meditation is  a huge deal (coming back to this later)

How to Learn and Teach (leaked pdf)

How to Speak
 

MUST WATCH documentary Superhuman World of the Iceman (WIM HOF!!))

Avoid the channels  Spirit Science, and Gaia  imo, they both seem like bullshit.

Leo's videos God-Realization Explanation, and the one regarding Neediness and Lonliness were some that helped me  (Actualized Clips!) 
also his videos on Meta (content vs structure) and (superpower)
Metacognition , Metaperspective, MetaAwareness, etc

Escaping Ordinary channel is good
Tom Bilyeu channel is good (Impact Clips)
Optimize.me and app (comprehensive crash courses for lots of topics)

things I didn't cover
Habits
Mindsets (Abundance vs Scarcity)  (Fixed vs Open)
Principles (Leose's list of Principles is a great piece)
Integral Life Practice handout (Wilber)
Paradigms (cant solve a problem at same level it was created aka change your paradigm!)

Eckhart Tolle
Chakras (i know little but think they seem solid)
Yoga (as underrated as Philosophy itself probably, but Im a noob here also)

Enlightenment
Biohacking
Science of Optimal Mind - Dan Brown (Science of Awakening)

"just be yourself" as flawed advice.

 

Left brain - focuses on the reality as individual bits of info 

Right brain - holistic osmosis  (see TedTalk Stroke of Insight) 

Pomodoro (concentration timer, take 5-15 minute breaks to "zone out" aka Diffusion mode)

 

Process-orientation > perfection-orientation (take 1 step, meditate for 1 minute, focus on process mastery)

 

Character

Virtues

Values (systems of values being linked to our stage of perspective on Spiral Dynamics , which is a major reason people disagree = different value systems) 

Worldviews (the epitome of Paradigm-tech, Leo says they are like Master Keys)

Chinese? Worldview - Flow States! (See Flow and Psychology of Optimal Happiness) 

Buddhist  worldview? , Attachment = suffering? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Find your "thing" - Ikigai venne diagram.  

 

Consumerism vs Creationism 

 

 

 

 

Im having fun wriing this, but will have to come back later!

Much Love 
- Kory

"just be yourself" as flawed advice.''"

Please expand