How to love myself?

[Preety_India]

I'm gathering resources on self-love. It's a new thing for me and a new chapter in my life where I have realized that self love can fix a lot of issues. 

Please share Any resources, techniques, methods that helped you with this. 

Thank you guys. 

 

[gettoefl]

meditation is the only self love since it fixes one in one's true nature

the world and the mind will tell you that meditation is wasteful and unproductive, they say this because they want you to stay unbalanced and ungrounded, they have a vested interest to keep you fast asleep

you have an astonishing treasure within, it is your birthright to discover it and with it you gain all the mysteries of the outside world

you incarnated to earth for you to discover you to the max

no other reason

this is what self love means

and until you love you, you are wholly incapable of loving another

 

[Preety_India]

@gettoefl sorry I need more resources. 

 

[gettoefl]

3 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

@gettoefl sorry I need more resources. 

 

ok if you need the outside to assist you in your search for self love, i am not the person to ask

[Cathal]

What exactly are you looking to feel that you lack right now?

[Preety_India]

5 minutes ago, catcat69123 said:

What exactly are you looking to feel that you lack right now?

I'm looking for methods of self love because I think I neglect myself badly. I just don't know how to love myself more. 

 

 

[hyruga]

There's a book called How to be your own best friend. Read it and it will help you.

[Cathal]

@Preety_India Do you think it's a question of integrity, that you know there's things you should do for yourself but you just can't seem to do them consistently because of how you feel emotionally?

or it's you literally don't know what is good for you?

because both i know, although the method you could say is to adopt your own understanding as the guiding light within yourself and create solutions for yourself, you will feel far more grounded, secure, warm inside knowing you can take care of yourself rather than giving that authority away to someone else

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, catcat69123 said:

Do you think it's a question of integrity, that you know there's things you should do for yourself but you just can't seem to do them consistently because of how you feel emotionally?

I think it's this. I really feel I can't. I feel like I have no love for myself. Sometimes I tend to love others than I do myself. I leave very little for me and give everything to others. 

The core essence is that I simply don't know how to love myself. It feels alien to me. It doesn't come naturally. If I had to pamper myself, it would feel unnatural and I'd end up mocking myself. 

But I know that self love has a lot of value in it. So I really want to push myself to love myself. Note - I don't hate myself. No. Not at all. I like who I am although I don't care about myself. I tend to simply abandon myself so much. 

[Cathal]

@Preety_India Well i'll just say what i have realized because i also had to learn what that means and generally abandon my own needs and all those things, it comes from being emotionally invalidated over and over and the character i'm stuck in is of unworthiness, fragility, low self worth, self-deafeting, self-pity kinds of behaviours

But what I realized was, if I really reflect on things I begin to see, there's nothing wrong with any of it, there's no one to blame (including myself) for feeling the way I do and it was by really beginning to understand myself instead of being a victim I just understand I am just a product of my environment, my seperate 'I' self/character is just a byproduct of a larger ecosystem of social conditioning.

If you get what I am saying, what is left to do? To realize compassion, to bring sweetness to yourself and just understand how you feel, to realize the innocence within yourself and others in your environment. Then you can create solutions, instead of pity, and then the real test of true-self-love comes about is are you willing to truly go about life making tough changes, taking risks, facing your fears, resocializing, meeting like-minded people, trying to create a financial situation for yourself, building the life you need for yourself to reach your higher levels of potential which will = more potential to give to others?

because that's self-love

self love is not anything but that. doing what you know is right, and using your witnessing understanding and not your dysfunctional emotional core, which means things may feel very jaw clenching and difficult but deep in your heart you know it's the right thing to do

[ivankiss]

Matt Kahn all the way! 

 

[SgtPepper]

The only ways I have increased self-love is forgiveness and wishing well for myself and others. Also giving or spending time helping others has helped significantly.

This guided meditation has captured it for me:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rhavzhse6zs&t=12s

[DreamVoid]

 

 

Edited February 22, 2022 by DreamVoid

[itachi uchiha]

practice kriya yoga and all your inferiority complex will go. uwill be in bliss/ecstacy/psychidelic state for 8 hours such that those bliss will make u love yoursefl

[hyruga]

You may say 'I hate myself. I hate my body.'

The reality is that underneath everything else, at the core of our being — even under self-loathing or self-destructive behavior — we want the best for ourselves.

 

[Preety_India]

4 minutes ago, hyruga said:

You may say 'I hate myself. I hate my body.'

The reality is that underneath everything else, at the core of our being — even under self-loathing or self-destructive behavior — we want the best for ourselves.

 

The problem is that I don't hate myself. I do admire myself for being beautiful and intelligent and hard working. But I just neglect myself a lot. I don't motivate myself to be caring towards myself 

 

 

 

[Eph75]

@Preety_India

What if self-love isn't about adding something and instead it's about removing something that isn't authentically you, that creates the cognative dissonance that shows up as self-doubt, takes a hit on your self-esteem and -confidence. 

When are you not authentic? 

When do you step into façades trying to be what you are not, creating appearances when the deeper you know that's not true. Playing games, appearing confident, arguing, hard beliefs and fixed sense of self. 

The discrepancy we feel when this is from where we operate... which is from where we all operate until we awaken to it, will mess with self-acceptance and our ability to have compassion and love ourselves. 

The "enemy" or rather obstacle or limitation is once again ourselves, our ego and ignorance and dillusion is what is needed to overcome. 

Removing, deconstructing that which surpresses the inner quality that, inevitably always is good is what removes the veil that shrouds us. 

Most importantly of all, that deconstruction forces us to remove all focus on finding something external that we can add that should fix something.

It doesn't need fix, it just needs reducing or removing the noise that drowns out that clarity so that we can't see that it's really always there. It's just drowned out by the dillusion of it needing to be found. 

Edited February 23, 2022 by Eph75

[Raze]

Try self therapy by Jay Earely

[Siedah]

I d say check out Kristin Neff's Self compassion stuff. or Paul Gilbert -Compassionate Mind. Good luck

Edited February 23, 2022 by Siedah

[puporing]

Here’s a list to start off:

Go for a walk, go to bed at a decent hour, eat less crap, watch the sunset, get in shape, meet a hottie.