Uncover

How to stop the lust for women?

5 posts in this topic

Hi,

I’m a 26 years old young man and I want to start with a little bit about me before addressing the problem. About my lifestyle - I live alone in a rented place, working from home. That means I spend my time day by day alone in the same room mostly, except going out for groceries and one in two or three week-ends I drive to my hometown to see my parents.

I spend a lot of time in front of screens: I wake up 6:50 AM eat, wash, then I’m on my phone till 7:36 when I jump in front of two PC screens and start my work, I’m working as an Economist. I end my work at 4:30 PM if no extra hours. Then I eat, wash and browse my cellphone again, social media, youtube or games. Somewhere around 7PM I open my laptop and watch movie series, play games and, my problem, watch porn and masturbate. Sometimes I masturbate as often as every night and even in the mornings in some week-ends.

Yes, I suffer of porn addiction and I want to end this cycle of misery. Till date it’s been more than a week since I didn’t engage in porn or masturbation. I did read “The easy peasy way”, maybe it’s working? But I’m getting more anxious and I can’t sleep well at night, I have nightmares or erotic dreams and I wake up in the middle of the night. As you may guess, my body also has to suffer from this routine. It is pretty frail, I eat little. The “food” I consume more often is the dopamine for my brain, it’s like a substitute for the real food. I eat three meals a day but little of it. And I guess that what I eat is consumed fast by the brain’s highly stimulated activity.

On social media I spend a lot of time browsing for girls. As you may guess, I’m single. It’s been more than a year since I touched a girl. It’s fair to say that I’m quite desperate for a girlfriend. It’s obvious that I’m not getting one with how I am now. Girls can sense a desperate guy. More than that, I had this situation yesterday which frightened me and urged me to make a change and improve my life.

It was yesterday when I realized my lust and desperation for girls. There was this stranger, a girl which gave me a haircut and nothing more. I liked her and I tried to talk to her on messenger. She rejected me, I insisted in a way which revealed how frustrated I am. I guess I scared her because in a few moments I got two messages from two guys threatening me to stop messaging her or I’ll end up in hospital. She could have just blocked me, not send “mafia” to me.

This was the first time when I was ever threatened because of a girl. Now my mind even starts considering castration. Because I can’t really end my lust for girls otherwise. Or can I? Would you be so kind as to advise me how to kill my lust for girls? Or at some point it will kill me (literarily, as I can see). I can’t just “put it to sleep” because I’m not getting any girls.. I have to kill my lust for girls! How?!

Peace

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37 minutes ago, Uncover said:

Because I can’t really end my lust for girls otherwise. Or can I?

There is an answer but i don't think u gonna like it. 

? Spirituality ?

But not drugs. Drugs will make your addiction even worse.


I simply am. You simply are. We are The Same One forever. Let us join in Glory. 

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I'm not sure if I would recommend staying away from porn or masturbation. It is not something that works for everybody. For many men like yourself, it leads to division, frustration and confusion.

Ask yourself why you have these ideals to not use porn or to not masturbate. I for the most part don't like this whole NoFap movement because it can easily lead to the repression of your sexual energies and in this way it will snap out in ways that are much worse than when you are just allowing yourself to masturbate and perhaps use porn alongside it too. You're seeing that for yourself now.

Might it work out well for some men? Perhaps. But it doesn't seem to work out well for you. Don't believe these ignorant fools who claim that NoFap will do good for everybody. It needs a grounding and a clear vision; A clear reason why. Only then it MIGHT work. but you only come to that place usually after having done a lot of work on yourself already and having had a lot of sex already. Otherwise it most likely will become repression and that will become very toxic in your psyche very quickly.

I myself use porn and I enjoy it thoroughly. I used to hold guilt and shame about it, but I don't anymore for some time, and I'm honestly very much at ease with my dirty habits and even my deepest, darkest sexual fantasies (and believe me, they get very, very dark).

Accept your sexuality, don't repress it. Even if it would make you less good with girls (which I doubt it would. You are not describing it does), it's still not worth it. Accept yourself and be a little bit more relaxed about your sexuality. It's even okay to just hold off approaching women and doing game for a while until you're able to come from a more grounded space.


Instead of continuously trying to make the right decision, experiment with making your decisions right instead (own up to them). Consciously making a commitment to a decision IS what makes it the right decision, regardless of the choices you had.

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1 hour ago, Uncover said:

It was yesterday when I realized my lust and desperation for girls. There was this stranger, a girl which gave me a haircut and nothing more. I liked her and I tried to talk to her on messenger. She rejected me, I insisted in a way which revealed how frustrated I am. I guess I scared her because in a few moments I got two messages from two guys threatening me to stop messaging her or I’ll end up in hospital. She could have just blocked me, not send “mafia” to me.

Dude, just learn to handle rejection well. Thousands of girls will reject you. So what? Stop caring. Focus on the girls who like you.

Nothing wrong with sexual craving. Stop demonizing it and learn to indulge it in healthy ways. You're not the first guy born with a dick.

If you talk to more girls you will be much less desperate to need any one of them to like you.


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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1 hour ago, Uncover said:

Hi,

I’m a 26 years old young man and I want to start with a little bit about me before addressing the problem. About my lifestyle - I live alone in a rented place, working from home. That means I spend my time day by day alone in the same room mostly, except going out for groceries and one in two or three week-ends I drive to my hometown to see my parents.

I spend a lot of time in front of screens: I wake up 6:50 AM eat, wash, then I’m on my phone till 7:36 when I jump in front of two PC screens and start my work, I’m working as an Economist. I end my work at 4:30 PM if no extra hours. Then I eat, wash and browse my cellphone again, social media, youtube or games. Somewhere around 7PM I open my laptop and watch movie series, play games and, my problem, watch porn and masturbate. Sometimes I masturbate as often as every night and even in the mornings in some week-ends.

Yes, I suffer of porn addiction and I want to end this cycle of misery. Till date it’s been more than a week since I didn’t engage in porn or masturbation. I did read “The easy peasy way”, maybe it’s working? But I’m getting more anxious and I can’t sleep well at night, I have nightmares or erotic dreams and I wake up in the middle of the night. As you may guess, my body also has to suffer from this routine. It is pretty frail, I eat little. The “food” I consume more often is the dopamine for my brain, it’s like a substitute for the real food. I eat three meals a day but little of it. And I guess that what I eat is consumed fast by the brain’s highly stimulated activity.

On social media I spend a lot of time browsing for girls. As you may guess, I’m single. It’s been more than a year since I touched a girl. It’s fair to say that I’m quite desperate for a girlfriend. It’s obvious that I’m not getting one with how I am now. Girls can sense a desperate guy. More than that, I had this situation yesterday which frightened me and urged me to make a change and improve my life.

It was yesterday when I realized my lust and desperation for girls. There was this stranger, a girl which gave me a haircut and nothing more. I liked her and I tried to talk to her on messenger. She rejected me, I insisted in a way which revealed how frustrated I am. I guess I scared her because in a few moments I got two messages from two guys threatening me to stop messaging her or I’ll end up in hospital. She could have just blocked me, not send “mafia” to me.

This was the first time when I was ever threatened because of a girl. Now my mind even starts considering castration. Because I can’t really end my lust for girls otherwise. Or can I? Would you be so kind as to advise me how to kill my lust for girls? Or at some point it will kill me (literarily, as I can see). I can’t just “put it to sleep” because I’m not getting any girls.. I have to kill my lust for girls! How?!

Peace

Im not sure if i should reply you because of your last paragraph you seem like a troll, But anyway, here we go:

1. Change your habits. Start going out EACH DAY. Not just groceries. Go somewhere where there are people and spend time there. Like, 2 hours at least. Do this daily. You can maybe take one day off at Sunday.

2. The reaction from the guys of sending you to the hospital is overreactive But having said that Its really really of bad education and harassment to use a phone number that has given to you for business purposes as a way to try to get a date or similar things. 

3. You Dont kill the lust for Girls. Its there because It needs to be satisfayed and also thanks that little lust because It just represents how messed Up and patetic your Life is. If your Life would be really properly designed you wouldnt have this problem. But since It doesnt, you have It. You shouldnt be wasting time doing that shit of watching YouTube or playing games after work. 

Sorry if Im being too harsh But you need this kind of "love". Also its not your fault you are just a victim of the social matrix. Just wake the fuck Up and start moving your ass now.


Fear is just a thought

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