Watching Gore While On Psychedelics

[SQAAD]

@roopepa

23 hours ago, roopepa said:

IMO it is not a good idea for you to keep watching gore, or to take psychedelics.

I had very similar beliefs / thoughts that you have, took around 5 grams of mushrooms, and had pretty much the worst trip one can have. Had to call an ambulance. Negative thought-patterns and (egoic projections) ensued weeks after the trip, and I had to spent time in psych ward. Took antipsychotics. Took me quite literally a year to fully get what happened, and to cut the negative pattern / let go the belief.

The thought/belief/pattern that went down was pretty much like this: "God/Universe is pushing me towards suicide, because I have to prove my worth as a fearless, courageous, egoless person who cares only about truth."

Today I see what was wrong so to say, what place these thoughts came from, and why they were false.

Hope you don't see this as me imposing beliefs on you, but I want to say this directly. Take it or leave it...

God is not pushing you toward conquering a fear. This is projection, aversion from emotional guidance. God needs nothing. There is no "your fear", and no fear whatsoever that needs to be conquered. There is nothing you need to do. There is nothing you need to prove.

To put it more simply, there is no need whatsoever to watch any gore videos ever again, nor is there a need to conquer/"win" this fear.

I think this isn't the case.

Because God has a desire. If God has no desire then why do I even exist. 

Edited February 21, 2022 by SQAAD

[SQAAD]

@Knowledge Hoarder God wants me to do whatever I am doing. Its not my will. 

It's God's will always. Since I have 0 free will as an ego. 

Edited February 21, 2022 by SQAAD

[Vincent S]

3 minutes ago, SQAAD said:

@Knowledge Hoarder God wants me to do whatever I am doing. Its not my will. 

It's God's will always. Since I have 0 free will as an ego. 

Buddy, I hate to break it to you. Its you creating all of this. You are just not aware of it. This gore topic has been your number one fetish/mental-masturbation thing, for the past few months. Your moving towards dangerous territory. At some point, you just have to let it go. For your own good.

[Vincent S]

7 minutes ago, SQAAD said:

@Knowledge Hoarder God wants me to do whatever I am doing. Its not my will. 

It's God's will always. Since I have 0 free will as an ego. 

God is just a creator, and accepting your will, and actualizing it for you: Right infront of your eyes. Ask yourself why you are will-ing this to existence.
And stop pretending you dont have any free will. You are forcing "God" (yourself) to go through all of this. God has nothing to do with it.
Its all on you here.

[Adodd]

That's the worst idea I've heard all day. Maybe just porn instead lol.

[Phoenix11]

I like this idea of Gandhi - See no evil, hear no evil, do no evil. We get to choose what we allow inside our reality. And sometimes we also have to accept what universe pushes into our reality but me personally wouldn't take extra measures to invite them.

 

 

[RamBam]

I have learned to see gore the same way I see porn. They are two sides of the same coin. If you can't do the time, don't do the crime. 

Edited February 22, 2022 by RamBam

[SQAAD]

@Adodd

On 22/02/2022 at 2:48 AM, Adodd said:

That's the worst idea I've heard all day. Maybe just porn instead lol.

Worst idea maybe in terms of Survival and maintaining your petty  emotionally comfortable life.

In terms of directly looking at the worst parts of God's face, and bathing in Truth, it is a brilliant idea. 

The only way you can maintain your comfortable existence is by denying the totality of what God is. 

If the average person was fully conscious all the time of what God truly is, he would end up in a mental asylum. 

Edited February 27, 2022 by SQAAD

[SQAAD]

@Phoenix11

On 22/02/2022 at 7:51 AM, Phoenix11 said:

I like this idea of Gandhi - See no evil, hear no evil, do no evil. We get to choose what we allow inside our reality. And sometimes we also have to accept what universe pushes into our reality but me personally wouldn't take extra measures to invite them.

 

 

That is willful ignorance. 

It's like your neighbor is having a hard time and you acting like nothing has happened just so your peace is not disturbed. That describes the lives of most people. And explains why there is so much evil in the world. 

Simply because most people do not care and are not bothered to care..

[SQAAD]

@Vincent S

On 21/02/2022 at 9:43 PM, Vincent S said:

God is just a creator, and accepting your will, and actualizing it for you: Right infront of your eyes. Ask yourself why you are will-ing this to existence.
And stop pretending you dont have any free will. You are forcing "God" (yourself) to go through all of this. God has nothing to do with it.
Its all on you here.

That is not my experience but I am open to this possibility. 

If I had free will, my life would be very different right now. 

[SQAAD]

@Vincent S

On 21/02/2022 at 9:41 PM, Vincent S said:

Buddy, I hate to break it to you. Its you creating all of this. You are just not aware of it. This gore topic has been your number one fetish/mental-masturbation thing, for the past few months. Your moving towards dangerous territory. At some point, you just have to let it go. For your own good.

I disagree man. First of all it is not a fetish of mine. Let me explain. 

I could focus on all the 'positive' aspects of God but what is the point?? That is easy. Its easy to love being a millionaire and living through the best kind of lives. That stuff is easy and a 5 year old child can accept easily. 

It is the stuff that destroys your notion of how good the world is that is very challenging to embrace. It is the stuff that makes you question God's design and your reasons for even living. 

There are stuff out there that when you see, it annihilates all your notions about how Good reality is. 

That is why I'm Interested in the hard topics. I do not care if in the next life I am born a millionaire. That stuff doesn't disturb me. 

What disturbes me, is the thought of living through the worst possible lives. 

This is just me getting comfortable with God's nightmares. 

I do not focus on the nightmares all the time. I keep a balance. But I cannot live acting like the nightmares don't even exist. 

For me, I am working through all these existential fears by acknowledging the nightmares. That is my fetish you could say. 

I imagine living through the most difficult nightmares. I cannot do otherwise. Sometimes it is very challenging. 

The goal is accepting and integrating the totality of what God is. And as I said before there is not integration to be done for the stuff that is easy and comfortable. 

Basically my mind is trying to prepare for the nightmares in some way. That is the best way I can put it. 

 

Edited February 27, 2022 by SQAAD

[Vincent S]

52 minutes ago, SQAAD said:

@Vincent S

I disagree man. First of all it is not a fetish of mine. Let me explain. 

I could focus on all the 'positive' aspects of God but what is the point?? That is easy. Its easy to love being a millionaire and living through the best kind of lives. That stuff is easy and a 5 year old child can accept easily. 

It is the stuff that destroys your notion of how good the world is that is very challenging to embrace. It is the stuff that makes you question God's design and your reasons for even living. 

There are stuff out there that when you see, it annihilates all your notions about how Good reality is. 

That is why I'm Interested in the hard topics. I do not care if in the next life I am born a millionaire. That stuff doesn't disturb me. 

What disturbes me, is the thought of living through the worst possible lives. 

This is just me getting comfortable with God's nightmares. 

I do not focus on the nightmares all the time. I keep a balance. But I cannot live acting like the nightmares don't even exist. 

For me, I am working through all these existential fears by acknowledging the nightmares. That is my fetish you could say. 

I imagine living through the most difficult nightmares. I cannot do otherwise. Sometimes it is very challenging. 

The goal is accepting and integrating the totality of what God is. And as I said before there is not integration to be done for the stuff that is easy and comfortable. 

Basically my mind is trying to prepare for the nightmares in some way. That is the best way I can put it. 

 

I respect that. Takes a lot to be accepting that. Which is your true Nature. Acceptance, Space, Clarity, Truth And Light. 
But to quote something God said to Neale Donald Walsh in one of conversations with God books: Neale asks God: why all the horrible things in the world, exists? And what to do about them?

God responds: “Only know that they exist as relativity, but you don’t need to go experience them, and know yourself through the pains of the World. Experience yourself with me instead” 

Now in this example and the whole thing is spoken in a dualistic manner. And the answer is what it means for you, as the reader/interpreter.
But just because things exist in the relative world, doesn’t mean its a must to experience them. 
At the end of the day, its your dream, and its your choice. 

[Phoenix11]

8 hours ago, SQAAD said:

@Adodd

Worst idea maybe in terms of Survival and maintaining your petty  emotionally comfortable life.

In terms of directly looking at the worst parts of God's face, and bathing in Truth, it is a brilliant idea. 

 

I watched Schindler's list few days back, the genocide was kind of Gore too in a way, definitely helps to be aware of other perceptions, gives us a reason to practice gratitude in life. 

What's the Gore you are talking about? I am not sure what type of videos fall under the umbrella of Gore?

Edited February 27, 2022 by Phoenix11

[Ima Freeman]

On 27.2.2022 at 10:20 AM, SQAAD said:

@Vincent S

I disagree man. First of all it is not a fetish of mine. Let me explain. 

I could focus on all the 'positive' aspects of God but what is the point?? That is easy. Its easy to love being a millionaire and living through the best kind of lives. That stuff is easy and a 5 year old child can accept easily. 

It is the stuff that destroys your notion of how good the world is that is very challenging to embrace. It is the stuff that makes you question God's design and your reasons for even living. 

There are stuff out there that when you see, it annihilates all your notions about how Good reality is. 

That is why I'm Interested in the hard topics. I do not care if in the next life I am born a millionaire. That stuff doesn't disturb me. 

What disturbes me, is the thought of living through the worst possible lives. 

This is just me getting comfortable with God's nightmares. 

I do not focus on the nightmares all the time. I keep a balance. But I cannot live acting like the nightmares don't even exist. 

For me, I am working through all these existential fears by acknowledging the nightmares. That is my fetish you could say. 

I imagine living through the most difficult nightmares. I cannot do otherwise. Sometimes it is very challenging. 

The goal is accepting and integrating the totality of what God is. And as I said before there is not integration to be done for the stuff that is easy and comfortable. 

Basically my mind is trying to prepare for the nightmares in some way. That is the best way I can put it. 

 

I like your way of thinking. You seem curious and willing to appreciate reality.

But be aware that everything has consequences. Watching people suffer will have consequences on your mind. The images will stick on your mind and maybe will come up in inappropriate times. Your emotions might get disturbed.


 

[SQAAD]

@Ima Freeman @Ima Freeman

7 hours ago, Ima Freeman said:

I like your way of thinking. You seem curious and willing to appreciate reality.

But be aware that everything has consequences. Watching people suffer will have consequences on your mind. The images will stick on your mind and maybe will come up in inappropriate times. Your emotions might get disturbed.


 

Thank you for your kind words. 

Yes you are right. There is a cost to everything. Sometimes I feel very very emotionally disturbed after having watched nasty things online. 

That's why I avoid watching actual gore videos . I just stick to commentaries nowadays. 

Its hard to explain but these gore topics attract me in some weird way. I always regret watching these commentaries but for some reason I always come back to them lol. 

I want to know what X person has endured so I can know what I will have to endure lol. If it wasn't for non duality i would not care that much. 

Maybe it's something I have to let go eventually. 

God's Love is truly horrifying. It's too much too handle for a human being.. Thats what I'm having trouble accepting and being OK with.. 

Living through the worst possible experiences is the whole challenge of existence in a nutshell.  

Sometimes I even feel nice that all these horrific things exist. It makes me appreciate the scope of life more. Also the horror, awe and shock you feel has a sweet taste to it sometimes. 

 

Edited February 28, 2022 by SQAAD

[SQAAD]

@Benton

12 hours ago, Benton said:

@SQAAD You could also enhance your fear of these things this way. You don’t need to watch beheading videos to accept beheading within yourself. Lol Whatever works for you though. Be honest with yourself.

It is one thing to accept the idea of beheading and another thing to accept the actual beheading. 

I am just curious of what I will have to endure as God. I'm just having a preview of the nightmares that are coming ahead in one of next possible incarnations. 

This gives me an existential terror that is addictive like a drug sometimes. Hard to explain.. 

I am already way more comfortable with the nasty parts of God just by facing what is. You don't have to necessarily watch graphic content. A commentary is OK too. 

Edited February 28, 2022 by SQAAD

[Reciprocality]

Gore is my best friend to easily load of anger and frustration, though more than anything it balances out existential dread/angst. The morbid curiosity part is gone, and it were this part which introduced me to it. 

On psychedelics I have not tried watching it, it sounds like a bad idea though so good luck to the braver of us.

[SQAAD]

@Phoenix11

On 27/02/2022 at 7:15 PM, Phoenix11 said:

I watched Schindler's list few days back, the genocide was kind of Gore too in a way, definitely helps to be aware of other perceptions, gives us a reason to practice gratitude in life. 

What's the Gore you are talking about? I am not sure what type of videos fall under the umbrella of Gore?

Yes I agree. Its good to be aware of how terrible things can become. It gives you a certain perspective. 

Most people are just in denial, living inside a comfortable constructed bubble. They have no connection to what is really going on in this planet. 

I watch a channel on YouTube called Disturbed Reality. It has commentaries of cartel executions and etc. 

Gore is basically any act of serious physical harm and torture that is very very gnarly. A husband hitting very seriously his wife is considered gore too. 

 

 

Edited February 28, 2022 by SQAAD

[SQAAD]

@Vincent S

On 27/02/2022 at 0:26 PM, Vincent S said:

I respect that. Takes a lot to be accepting that. Which is your true Nature. Acceptance, Space, Clarity, Truth And Light. 
But to quote something God said to Neale Donald Walsh in one of conversations with God books: Neale asks God: why all the horrible things in the world, exists? And what to do about them?

God responds: “Only know that they exist as relativity, but you don’t need to go experience them, and know yourself through the pains of the World. Experience yourself with me instead” 

Now in this example and the whole thing is spoken in a dualistic manner. And the answer is what it means for you, as the reader/interpreter.
But just because things exist in the relative world, doesn’t mean its a must to experience them. 
At the end of the day, its your dream, and its your choice. 

Thank you.  

I am not willing to experience all these things per say But.. It's very hard to turn my back on these things and not acknowledge them knowing that I will have to live through them one day.. 

You see, its very personal for me.. The nightmares of God are the challenge of existence. 

My life now is relatively easy but I cannot cling to that. I need to acknowledge everything. 

Edited February 28, 2022 by SQAAD

[SavourTime]

Dude please be careful. Irresponsible use of psychedelics could twist your reality if you're not careful. If you want to know how bad things could possibly get for you, I'd suggest looking up Datura trip reports. I do admire your challenging approach to experiencing life though, but this looks like it's at the far end of the spectrum. Really consider if the potential consequences are worth the risk or not.