Crapping In My Tibetan-art-sandbox

[Epiphany_Inspired]

When Leo spoke about the lack of respect with throwing hypothetical cigarette butts into beautiful sand art, it was on a different topic.... but it represents integrity to me regardless. Recently, I have had an unfortunate series of events with a couple of individuals not just throwing a butt into my temple, but actually squatting down and shitting in it, spreading this shit (their dysfunction) in a chaotic manner through the beautiful rainbow Mandela of sand art that is the sanctuary of my life.

At first I thought perhaps it was my Ego, as that seems likely.... but I now feel that Leo's description of how the monks would react to such disrespect to their work and integrity is actually the reaction we all deserve (maybe not the beating up, but definitely the *kicking out*). From Leo's video on dealing with toxic people, we learned that we can attempt to talk to people about the issues in a compassionate way, to try and work out the issues (before it comes to banishing). In this case, my multiple attempts to have my basic human need for respect met, resulted in further toxicity spewed at me directly, also intentionally & admittedly behind my back.

I knew from the beginning that I do not need to "defend myself" to get the respect that I deserve, yet I tried that very unsuccessfully a few times anyway. I now understand 100% that I have too much integrity to give those that do not seem worthy of my trust, more of the  intimate details of my life (when they continue to twist my words into something else, to use as weapons against me). My requests for privacy, and for them to stop spreading rumours, pretending to know my thoughts, feelings and intentions did not provide the boundary I had hoped for. It gave them more power to make further inaccurate assumptions and spread them as my truth. They twisted distancing myself, into "you must be hiding, dishonest" etc. None of my compassionate efforts, extremely loving gestures and words have had any positive effect. I understand now why those hypothetical monks would not have attempted to reason with the disrespectful, they would have simply kicked them out. We deserve to speak our own truths while being treated with respect and integrity, regardless of ego's similar desire.

Including these two (separately lovely, together = a toxic codependent couple), I've now had to "banish" 4 individuals from the sanctuary of my life. There is one member of this couple that it is extremely painful to banish, formerly one of my best friends. If she could somehow see how her assumptions about my character are the opposite of my truth/reality, that her assumptions are totally inaccurate....everything would be cool again.... As that does not seem within my capabilities, I choose my integrity - banishment. I support people on the forum all the time, reminding them that we will likely eventually evolve to tolerate others dysfunction/ low consciousness. That said if they are throwing butts into our rad sand-art, we don't have to tolerate it. We will find people that DO respect us, treat us with integrity, give us the benefit of the doubt, etc. There are over 7 billion people in the world, and more people waking up to higher consciousness everyday!

[Leo Gura]

If someone crapped in a Zen sand garden at a serious Japanese monastery, they would probably bury that guy 6 feet under that garden, and that would be the last anyone ever heard of him.

[AlwaysBeNice]

22 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

If someone crapped in a Zen sand garden at a serious Japanese monastery, they would probably bury that guy 6 feet under that garden, and that would be the last anyone ever heard of him.

I don't think so, you help the mentally ill.