Stop waiting to feel good... (video)

[Mu_]

Let me know if this was useful, or if theres anything confusing about it.

[mandyjw]

❤?

[softlyblossoming]

Great video; excellent food for thought as usual. I've been using this reframe on and off inadvertently for years, but now it's been made explicit it'll become on of my main tools to feel however I want to feel. Gonna chuck video link in Dhammarato's Sangha because we love nifty tricks like this. Might also transcribe a few segments for a shared document some of us use to make these sorts of top tips more accessible when life gets overwhelming.

I feel like deconstruction is a bit of a dead end, and in many ways an incomplete method of spiritual practice. Here's how practicing spirituality feels to me right now:

1. Step One: deconstruct the lie (the unpleasant state of consciousness) to realize it is a lie (it's not as necessary for survival as we'd been thinking). 
2. Step Two: replace the lie with a lie that feels better.
3. Step Three: ignore deconstruction/step one by just using the knowledge that if it hurts, it's a lie as all the information we need to enact step two.
4. Step Four: sustain the better-feeling lie (the more pleasant state of consciousness) by giving it our attention and ignoring thoughts detrimental to it.
5. Step Five: as a byproduct of the sustained effort to maintain the new state, lies that are detrimental to its upkeep (thoughts and emotions conducive to a less pleasant state of consciousness) are deconstructed, whilst pleasant lies (thoughts and emotions conducive to a pleasant state of consciousness) are allowed to continue, and this leads to the pleasant state becoming increasingly pronounced (i.e. more pleasant) and increasingly effortless (i.e. requiring less participation) to maintain. Please see the attached images, depicting an exponential growth curve (or 'snow ball' effect) which illustrate step five.

In essence, by replacing the painful lies, or as a byproduct of trying to replace them, they seem to get deconstructed and my skill at replacing them seems to improve. Now, instead of continually trying to deconstruct my reactions yet not getting anywhere knowably better, I am constructing something knowably better, and something knowably better is precisely what I've been getting. However, this has left me wondering as to the purpose, and indeed nature, of the deconstructing I started with.

My questions are...

• What's the difference between deconstructing and constructing?
• Why wouldn't any deconstruction be a replacement construction?
• Does focusing energy on constructing a better dream deconstruct the dream?
• If everything is a lie, why am I deliberately seeking the truth instead of developing the skill of choosing lies that feel good? 
• What's the value of continuing to deconstruct a dream beyond the point at which one has the ability to stop suffering (now/anytime) by believing they have the ability to stop suffering (now/anytime)? After this point has been reached, why shouldn't we switch to constructing a better dream? ← In this case, an example of constructing (or what I've been thinking of as constructing) would be selecting my emotions, or what thoughts I allow myself to believe, more carefully/consciously than before to cultivate a nicer state of consciousness to live in/from.

Thank you for sharing your content to the forum so we can all discuss these ideas so conveniently.

[Mu_]

@softlyblossoming

I’ll keep my answer tied to the video I made but some of your questions are interesting and could be useful going into individually  

for starters the video is just pointing out something you can observe going on in your current reality 

and from that reality point of view I’m posing a logical question about why wait for outcomes to happen to feel how you would feel if it were to happen.  That is it   .  It is possible yet not the normal mode of going about things.  

In regards to some of your questions.

Isnt it great that the “lies” that you saw through and deconstructed are in fact not true?  this can be a great relief.  How is this recognition a lie?  

And sometimes it’s not a relief, but now you know the original lie is not true and hopefully it makes it less pulling in it believability and suffering qualities.  

and the reframing you say you do to replace the old lie that feels better, how is this a “lie”. Doesn’t it feel good when you do this? Why not leave it at that.   
 

Also this may hold some truth for you. You see if your seeing through a lie, it doesn’t need to be replaced with a better lie, because it’s not true to begin with. Perhaps your not deconstructing to the point of seeing it’s fundamental falseness, you may be trying to say a more pleasant story while still holding something that is believed. 

[ivankiss]

@Mu_ Enjoyed it man. Love how casual and chill your content is. Great message, as always. Simple and profound.

Reminded me of this:

 

P.s. Love that hoodie you're wearing! 

[softlyblossoming]

Loving this talk, @ivankiss. He knows what's really up.

[ivankiss]

@softlyblossoming Glad to hear.

Matt Kahn is gangsta af 

[softlyblossoming]

@ivankiss When you realize the real gangstas in this realm don't give a shit about hoes or $$$ hahaha 

Edited February 21, 2022 by softlyblossoming

[ivankiss]

@softlyblossoming Haha yup! To love fearlessly and unconditionally is as badass as it gets 

Nice username btw!

[Snader]

Simple and powerful!

[softlyblossoming]

@ivankiss thanks

[Mu_]

On 2/20/2022 at 3:41 PM, ivankiss said:

@Mu_ Enjoyed it man. Love how casual and chill your content is. Great message, as always. Simple and profound.

Reminded me of this:

 

P.s. Love that hoodie you're wearing! 

Ya I like Matt Kahn, at least the very little I've seen of him.  Lovely message, and fun energy.