Many incels are misunderstood

[something_else]

13 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

Considering  50 percent of all relationships are formed online, removing online stuff as an option would greatly cause people to be more social in order to get their sexual and intimacy needs met.

The stats are something like 25% of relationships start online IIRC. It depends on the location but generally speaking even in the countries with the most online dating (the US unsurprisingly) only something like 1/4 girls use online dating. In Europe it’s closer to 1/10

It also doesn’t account for casual relationships, many of which still happen in person. People aren’t going to stop partying any time soon

17 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

Hard to do when dating is done online mostly. Either ban the apps or regulate them in a way where everyone gets results based on their level instead of 15 percent of guys getting all the girls. Would it not be cool if a 5/10 guy could match with a 5/10 girl in these apps

After he matched with five 5/10 girls he’d start looking for a 6/10. After a girl matched with five 5/10 guys she’d start looking for a 6/10, then you’re back where you started. Everyone wants the best deal they can get, so everyone fights and competes. There is no fairness in dating. You aren’t owed shit, you gotta fight for it

[something_else]

38 minutes ago, Loba said:

I just don't care about genetic rejects.  Sorry.
Natural selection is there for a reason.
I don't see them worrying about my needs.

Women don't need to care, we have our own problems to deal with.
Get the picture.

I'd care more if people cared about me, but they don't.
So I don't.  Care gets care.
Incels are like... don't-try-at-alls... tbh.

Laziness is not attractive.

Geez

[Random witch]

On 2/17/2022 at 9:37 PM, patricknotstar said:

   It is very easy to villianize someone because that way you don't have to empathize with them, and to empathize can be painful. To feel someone's suffering, it is much easier to paint a negative image.

   A good example is incels. By definition all an incel means is to be "INvoluntarily CELibate." Many men are incel not because they are inherently bad people , or hate women but simply because of neurodivergent disorders or their appearance. Sex is ultimately the exchange of DNA and women do select men based on genetic indicators of fitness , I'm sorry but if you think only men can be superficial and care about appearances  you're severely misguided. It's not even superficial but just evolutionary instinct, sexual selection keeps the gene pool healthier and females of most species are the selectors. ( example Bonobos)

   Now i'm not saying you have to a model or millionaire to get a girlfriend, but there is definitely a threshold men must meet to enter the dating market and have any chance and some men simply don't meet it. It doesn't matter how kind , intelligent or interesting they are , simply due to circumstances out of their control they will never have much success with women. This is a reality it's not fair , brain cancer isn't fair , dwarfism isn't fair etc...

   So not all incels are bad people , some are good people who were just dealt a bad hand. The same way many men who have great success with women and dating can be horrible people. 

It might be true that not all inceles are dangerous, bad, toxic and deluded. It also might be true that not all non-incels are healthy angels who accept women as full human beings and strive to have a healthy relationship with women.

In general, all humans "deserve" empathy because all humans suffered, are suffering or will suffer in some way. But we live in this world where we create most of our suffer, we also have our limited egos, biases and preferences and it's difficult to spread empathy to people who are luck in social skills and aren't taking responsibility to improve it or to compromise on women at their league.

Sometimes when I have those "glimpses" of compassion I empathize with them, because they're missing very important aspects in human's life like social interactions, sex and intimacy, it's sad that there are people who never experienced it nor ever experience it because of various, internal and or external reasons.

I just don't feel comfortable when they put the blame on women, I don't like to feel like I own them sex and romantic attention without them do some real effort to get it. I also don't like that they expect women to empathize with them while they can't emphasize with women, only to demonize women.

I would love to see a real brotherhood, menhood, not the fake one that accepts "alphas" only, but the kind that cares about all men. I would love to see an enterprise of non-incel men building some community to teach incels (and men in general) social skills, self esteem, even do trauma work and connect to their masculinity in a healthy manner. But it's not happening, perhaps because most non-incels have no reason to do that, they don't care nor feel like it's their problem. Perhaps because of the fact the most non-incels aren't conscious enough and are struggling with some issues themselves, perhaps because non-incels secretly prefer incels to exist because it makes them look less worse compared to incels.

 

Edited March 14, 2022 by Random witch

[Karmadhi]

1 hour ago, something_else said:

After he matched with five 5/10 girls he’d start looking for a 6/10. After a girl matched with five 5/10 guys she’d start looking for a 6/10, then you’re back where you started.

If he is greedy yes. I advocate people learning to be happy with what they got. If u want a 9/10 go get them in real life. The point of online dating is to make people not starve.

 

[something_else]

11 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

If he is greedy yes. I advocate people learning to be happy with what they got

 

It’s not greed, it’s more subtle than that. He would start to believe he is a 6/10 and that he is worthy of a 6/10

 

[Karmadhi]

12 minutes ago, something_else said:

It’s not greed, it’s more subtle than that. He would start to believe he is a 6/10 and that he is worthy of a 6/10

What is your solution then? The number of incels is growing in a scary rate.

And it is definetly not as easy as "just talk to girls" as Leo and others say.

I know social guys with good social skills and good circle of friends (both guys and girls) that really struggle with girls. Basically same results as an incel with the opposite sex.

Spamm approaching girls as they do in pick up wont work either, especially if scaled in a big degree.

I think the only other solution is to teach men how to actually be men instead of this "be nice and kind" bs that feminism teaches them these days. Basically like men were in the old days, strong, dominant, assertive and just went for what they wanted (without turning into a devil ofc).

So if values like assertivness, dominance, boldness etc were not demonized as they are these days, but encouraged in a healthy way, it would greatly benefit men (proper integration of stage red).

Also, people could stop having these ridicioulous standards of having to sleep with 10/10s and learn to be content with an average looking girl, especially if they cannot really get a hot one for whatever reason. You are not a loser if you date a meh looking girl!. Lastly, removing this lookism bullshit which has infected young men. I doubt men in the 1800s went around giving a shit about how they looked to this obsessive degree that young men do these days.

These things should fix it imo.

Edited March 15, 2022 by Karmadhi

[Mada_]

Incels seem to fundamentally believe they are victims, which would mean they are fundamentally wrong about attracting women.They love to throw around the word "can't" when talking about attracting women.

There is a YouTube channel called Squirmy and Grubs, where the guy is like 4 foot tall and in a wheelchair, in a loving relationship with a beautiful woman. If literal disabled people can attract, so can a so-called incel. 

[something_else]

7 hours ago, Karmadhi said:

What is your solution then? The number of incels is growing in a scary rate.

And it is definetly not as easy as "just talk to girls" as Leo and others say.

That’s pretty much the only solution. At some point these guys have got to start talking to girls instead of sitting on a computer

8 hours ago, Karmadhi said:

Spamm approaching girls as they do in pick up wont work either, especially if scaled in a big degree.

If you talk to enough girls then some of them will like you

 

8 hours ago, Karmadhi said:

So if values like assertivness, dominance, boldness etc were not demonized as they are these days, but encouraged in a healthy way, it would greatly benefit men (proper integration of stage red).

 

These traits aren’t demonised these days

 

[vindicated erudite]

On 17/02/2022 at 7:37 PM, patricknotstar said:

   It is very easy to villianize someone because that way you don't have to empathize with them, and to empathize can be painful. To feel someone's suffering, it is much easier to paint a negative image.

   A good example is incels. By definition all an incel means is to be "INvoluntarily CELibate." Many men are incel not because they are inherently bad people , or hate women but simply because of neurodivergent disorders or their appearance. Sex is ultimately the exchange of DNA and women do select men based on genetic indicators of fitness , I'm sorry but if you think only men can be superficial and care about appearances  you're severely misguided. It's not even superficial but just evolutionary instinct, sexual selection keeps the gene pool healthier and females of most species are the selectors. ( example Bonobos)

   Now i'm not saying you have to a model or millionaire to get a girlfriend, but there is definitely a threshold men must meet to enter the dating market and have any chance and some men simply don't meet it. It doesn't matter how kind , intelligent or interesting they are , simply due to circumstances out of their control they will never have much success with women. This is a reality it's not fair , brain cancer isn't fair , dwarfism isn't fair etc...

   So not all incels are bad people , some are good people who were just dealt a bad hand. The same way many men who have great success with women and dating can be horrible people. 

Never identify as an incel even if you can't get laid.

It's funny to take dating advice from people who don't get laid. Instead, you should be listening to unattractive/NT/neurotic people who DO get laid for dating advice.

Also, grab yourself by the balls and ignore the low-quality people who hate on incels. Their mistakes are not your fault so stop taking responsibility for it. You are burning their karma with your anger.

Edited March 15, 2022 by vindicated erudite

[Jacob Morres]

@Loba check this book out, your perspective on laziness is very unnuanced and could use some deeper analysis. Ik I picked up a thing or 2 helpful things from this 

Laziness Does Not Exist https://www.amazon.com/dp/1982140100/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_i_4PN28W505VKEATZXTZGC

I recommend leo you read this too bc you throw around the word lazy too much. Which is ironically a 'lazy' way to understand a situation. But I used lazy as tongue in cheek lol 

Edited March 17, 2022 by Jacob Morres