Many incels are misunderstood

[Arcangelo]

@Roy  not true bro

[RMQualtrough]

@Arcangelo Pickup is bullshit. Incels are narcissists who REFUSE to date anyone in their league.

This is all so absurd. I can't really comprehend this is a thing.

[Valach]

@Knowledge Hoarder

Pickup does way more to you than just increasing your extroversion. There are many benefits to it as well as drawbacks. For example as @RMQualtrough mentions, I can definitly see a narcissistic tendencies developing in myself because of pickup (which it promotes).

[RMQualtrough]

28 minutes ago, Knowledge Hoarder said:

Just curious, what do you think defines a "league"? Cause I don't necessarilly consider any girl above or bellow me, nor do I consider myself above or bellow any girl - with some exceptions.

Seems to me that pick up is mainly about making you super extroverted - which significantly increases your chance of finding someone, or simply getting laid.

Generally, if I got fat and ugly (etc) I'd be instantly rejected by 99% of hot chicks. If I look good, then I can talk to the same kinda girls and they'll be into me 99% of the time instead.

I rarely even bother going out at all if I look fat or have shit hair or w.e. because I know exactly what will take place. Which is just sexual frustration then a severe hangover for nothing.

[Arcangelo]

2 hours ago, RMQualtrough said:

Pickup is bullshit.

How? In what way?

 

 

[Jacob Morres]

3 hours ago, RMQualtrough said:

@Arcangelo Pickup is bullshit. Incels are narcissists who REFUSE to date anyone in their league.

This is all so absurd. I can't really comprehend this is a thing.

How does comprehension manifest in your experience? 

[RMQualtrough]

1 hour ago, Jacob Morres said:

How does comprehension manifest in your experience? 

I don't get this stuff it's just like... SOOOO absurd. Literally not even one thing that any "pickup coach" has ever said seems to play out in real life.

It's like people are writing about one of those anime dating RPGs. LOL. Like it's so divorced from reality when I hear these people talk.

What gets me rejected? Getting fat and ugly. What makes women attracted to me? Being lean and hot. Lol. Real world conversations unlike the Mystery weird RPG dialogue options are organic and unpredictable. It's just connecting with people in a real way.

[Esilda]

@patricknotstar all incels don't know themselves though. I know that the depths of knowing myself as a woman, no matter how much my looks will go with age, negates all categories like these  . They're the people that do all the misunderstanding. They want acceptance though, all people do. They need to understand this to understand themselves more fully and escape this nonsense, have self compassion for themselves, one another and all. 

Edited March 14, 2022 by Esilda

[something_else]

15 hours ago, RMQualtrough said:

What gets me rejected? Getting fat and ugly. What makes women attracted to me? Being lean and hot. Lol. Real world conversations unlike the Mystery weird RPG dialogue options are organic and unpredictable. It's just connecting with people in a real way.

You can be good looking but still not get great results because your personality sucks. And you can also be pretty below average looking as a dude and your personality can carry for you. You see it all the time. 

15 hours ago, RMQualtrough said:

I don't get this stuff it's just like... SOOOO absurd. Literally not even one thing that any "pickup coach" has ever said seems to play out in real life.

It's like people are writing about one of those anime dating RPGs. LOL. Like it's so divorced from reality when I hear these people talk

I don't know which pickup coaches you've listened to, I listen to almost none except a few RSD videos and Leo. The typical pickup coach style makes me want to scratch my eyes out and clog my ears up from the cringe, so perhaps we do agree on that

Most good pickup advice boils down to 'get off your ass and go socialise' and some techniques to make that happen. Nothing wrong with that really. A lot of guys who are socially fucked need a framework to learn how to have those organic conversations you mention. It doesn't always come that naturally if you've spent most of your life in front of a computer

[zurew]

3 minutes ago, something_else said:

A lot of guys who are socially fucked need a framework to learn how to have those organic conversations you mention. It doesn't always come that naturally if you've spent most of your life in front of a computer

Very true. Why do we think, that more and more pickup coaches are out there? One main reason, is because there is a market for it, there are more and more guys who are needing such teachings/service.

[something_else]

2 hours ago, zurew said:

Very true. Why do we think, that more and more pickup coaches are out there? One main reason, is because there is a market for it, there are more and more guys who are needing such teachings/service.

Yup. The problem is that there isn’t exactly that much theory to pickup, at least for dudes who struggle socially. The theory for them is ‘be social’ and ‘step out of your comfort zone’ but that advice doesn’t make an online coach money, really

So when there are that many coaches who’s income depends on teaching pickup online they have to come up with more and more theory or flashy in-field content to keep people coming back for more info, and that stuff can get super cringe

[zurew]

22 minutes ago, something_else said:

So when there are that many coaches who’s income depends on teaching pickup online they have to come up with more and more theory or flashy in-field content to keep people coming back for more info, and that stuff can get super cringe

Yes, this is also true. But i think there is some theory, that can be beneficial though. For example generally speaking what  a woman is attracted to, how a woman mind's work, and how they think about men.

With the necessary theory and with real world practice combined, even incels can get better success rate.

Edited March 14, 2022 by zurew

[RMQualtrough]

4 hours ago, zurew said:

Very true. Why do we think, that more and more pickup coaches are out there? One main reason, is because there is a market for it, there are more and more guys who are needing such teachings/service.

Because both men and women's standards are higher.

In the past a dude would have a friend group, find some commonality with a chubby chick, get married, and have kids at 22.

It's always been plastered in media with makeup, beauty etc. But now it's linked to perception of your actual value as a person. E.g. being with someone who looks uncool now means YOU are uncool...

[zurew]

32 minutes ago, RMQualtrough said:

Because both men and women's standards are higher.

Who is more likely to aim "lower" though? ( financially wise, lifestyle wise, social status wise etc)

The gatekeepers most of the time are woman. So this higher standard thing, hurts the man side more than the woman side. Does that mean that woman should lower their standards? I don't think so, it just good to understand both side.

Who has more options a man or a women? I think the answer for this will clearly show the getting laid aspect, of course it can be argued that woman have a harder time finding a good long-lasting realtionship.

 

Edited March 14, 2022 by zurew

[something_else]

44 minutes ago, RMQualtrough said:

In the past a dude would have a friend group, find some commonality with a chubby chick, get married, and have kids at 22.

What is this based on? lol

You think dudes in the past wouldn't chase the hot girls?

 

[Karmadhi]

If society gave the same care and attention to incels that they do to MeTOO cases and feminists, this issue would be solved quite fast.

There is a huge biased on the west against incels.

Disgusting imo, they need help more than anyone else.

The minimum society can do is to see them as people that need help instead of judging them and calling them losers, terrorists etc.

I am talking here about most incels, not the radical ones that are shoot up schools.

And this is not easily solved by pick up, it does not scale well.

If there is 1 thing i would do would be to ban or at least somewhat regulate dating apps and websites, i feel like they greatly influence incel growth.

Edited March 14, 2022 by Karmadhi

[something_else]

52 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

If society gave the same care and attention to incels that they do to MeTOO cases and feminists, this issue would be solved quite fast.

There is a huge biased on the west against incels.

Disgusting imo, they need help more than anyone else.

The minimum society can do is to see them as people that need help instead of judging them and calling them losers, terrorists etc.

I am talking here about most incels, not the radical ones that are shoot up schools.

And this is not easily solved by pick up, it does not scale well.

If there is 1 thing i would do would be to ban or at least somewhat regulate dating apps and websites, i feel like they greatly influence incel growth.

The problem is that there isn’t much society can do for them. It isn’t really like homelessness or poverty where you can have social initiatives and some government support to help those people

The most society could do to help inceldom is treat it like a mental health issue, but look at how terrible we are at handling mental health as a society 

Regulating dating apps won’t help much. I agree they are a negative influence but they are not the cause of inceldom and removing them will not solve the problem. The fundamental problem is poor social skills

[Loba]

I just don't care about genetic rejects.  Sorry.
Natural selection is there for a reason.
I don't see them worrying about my needs.

Women don't need to care, we have our own problems to deal with.
Get the picture.

I'd care more if people cared about me, but they don't.
So I don't.  Care gets care.
Incels are like... don't-try-at-alls... tbh.

Laziness is not attractive.

Edited March 14, 2022 by Loba

[Karmadhi]

@something_else

54 minutes ago, something_else said:

The most society could do to help inceldom is treat it like a mental health issue, but look at how terrible we are at handling mental health as a society

Yes exactly this and to remove the horrible stigma they have. Very important!

55 minutes ago, something_else said:

Regulating dating apps won’t help much. I agree they are a negative influence but they are not the cause of inceldom and removing them will not solve the problem.

Considering  50 percent of all relationships are formed online, removing online stuff as an option would greatly cause people to be more social in order to get their sexual and intimacy needs met.

55 minutes ago, something_else said:

The fundamental problem is poor social skills

Hard to do when dating is done online mostly. Either ban the apps or regulate them in a way where everyone gets results based on their level instead of 15 percent of guys getting all the girls. Would it not be cool if a 5/10 guy could match with a 5/10 girl in these apps?

[Esilda]

18 minutes ago, Loba said:

I just don't care about genetic rejects.  Sorry.
Natural selection is there for a reason.
I don't see them worrying about my needs.

Women don't need to care, we have our own problems to deal with.
Get the picture.

I'd care more if people cared about me, but they don't.
So I don't.  Care gets care.
Incels are like... don't-try-at-alls... tbh.

Laziness is not attractive.

@Loba its almost like they're getting their own gender pronoun soon 

Edited March 14, 2022 by Esilda