Date report, need advice please

[hyruga]

She's telling you that she doesn't want sex or anything weird. Anything else is fine.

[Karmadhi]

1 minute ago, Preety_India said:

So you expect her to ask you out? I don't even get you. You ask her out. You text her. You show her what you got and what you mean. Only then she will show up. Why else? 

You mean to say that she should show interest in you? But if you didn't put enough effort in generating interest, why would she be interested? 

A lot of the guys on this forum have this classic problem that they never want to put enough effort in making a girl feel interested and then they complain about rejection and failure or else expect miraculous results out of very little effort. 

You want results then try hard and harder.. 

I only listen to guys when it comes to dating advice, females are clueless.

 

[Preety_India]

Just now, Karmadhi said:

I only listen to guys when it comes to dating advice, females are clueless.

 

That is a cop out. 

You don't want to understand a woman's perspective.

Then keep expecting failures. 

Goodluck. 

 

[aurum]

2 hours ago, Karmadhi said:

Yes but i was rejected/friendzoned when i did this in the past (not touching nor kissing on a first date) . I would rather not make the same mistakes again. Most first dates do not end up with sex yet people still end up together. 

I get that and have been there.

Obviously just getting friend-zoned isn’t good either.

When I say I’d rather not touch her, that wouldn’t mean I wouldn’t be flirting or man to women. I would just purposefully not escalate.

What I’m saying is not good advice for new guys because most new guys are way to scared to escalate. Therefore they need to remove every possible excuse not to do if.

But once you’re comfortable with doing it, you actually can be smart about when to escalate and when not to. It becomes less of a rule.

Levels to this shit.

2 hours ago, Karmadhi said:

I doubt i gave such a strong player vibe that i would EXPECT sex on a second date. However this is just my assumption, maybe you are correct.

You’d be surprised.

I felt the same way when I started getting into game. Most of my life girls tended to put me in more of the “nice guy” box. It was a bizarre thing to suddenly start getting the opposite reaction and have girls think you were only using them for sex.

Remember that a) she doesn’t know your past, she only knows what she has seen of you and b) girls have a lot of both social and biological conditioning related to sex that encourages them to be selective.

So it could just be in her head. But it’s what’s in her head that counts.

She might not expect it consciously but she knows she got drunk and made out with you last time. And she has to save face on that.

Girls do not want to come off as easy or being used. It’s very bad for them.

2 hours ago, Karmadhi said:

That is what i have been planning to do.  Getting the meetup is the hard part. She is being bit defensive about it.

Yeah her defenses are up. So you’re playing catch up.

Keep it low pressure. Don’t make her feel slutty or judged for hooking up with you before. 

[puporing]

What I've experienced is that people who feel like they have less power in the relationship will "play more games", doesn't matter man or woman, though I've only experienced this from my side. 
 

It's usually pretty effective if you just cut straight to the point. This will end the 'game' if there was one and reveal the truth. (If that's what you want, or you want to keep playing the game, no right choice here).

Edited February 17, 2022 by puporing

[John Paul]

@Karmadhi  I know it is frustrating. We all can relate bro. You already got advice so: CONGRATS bro!!! you got a date and a kiss and texts back after!!! wow doesn't it feel good? I bet a lot of other girls will enjoy that with you too.

since you are frustrated there's a good chance you are fucking it up with this girl now. not to say you should give up but try to replicate what you have done so far, not exactly but in general. 

We are proud of you... big man you  <3 Head up bro!!

[Unio]

5 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

leaving her with the bill.

Isn't this illegal? What if she reports you to the police?

[something_else]

10 hours ago, Karmadhi said:

So today (wendsday) i go the place we arranged to meet but she is nowhere to be found. I text her "where are you" and 20 minutes later she tells me that she forgot and was sorry and shit.  I got super pissed but refraimed myself for saying anything nasty, i just told her not to do it again and lets find a time again to meet and stick to it.

I think this is the most annoying thing that girls do by a country mile. I've had this a couple times and it pisses me off so fucking much. Like I can keep my cool about most things, ghosting/flaking on the day or night before, sure. Even if they say they've changed their mind or they've now got other plans, frustrating but oh well, can handle it. 

But I seriously have to fight of pure rage when girls play the "oh I forgot" card

In my past I would have been needy and tried to set up another date but now if a girl does this it's game over. I'm not dealing with that shit

I'm not saying that's what you should do btw, this is my own very biased rage talking lol

--- Rant over ---

But yea, you should def be texting the day before the date to make sure she's coming. IMO you should be texting back and forth before the date a bit too, then you can kinda gauge whether you're on the same page. I disagree that texting a bit before the date is bad. Especially for us younger generations this is kind of expected

10 hours ago, Karmadhi said:

Afterwards we left, she said "that was fun" when we were leaving. Then i walked her to the train station (she lives in a nearby city) and went home

It's possible she wanted more on that night. It's hard to tell though, maybe you have a better sense than me. Uni girls are often pretty ready to fuck on a first meeting. Her saying "it got weird" later on is possibly her referring to tension she was feeling about whether you were gonna fuck that night or not while you were walking her to the train

That would be my interpretation, however it's hard to gauge with just a description

Still, you did well by kissing her. As long as you're doing things that scare you on dates you're making progress and you should be happy, regardless of whether you get the girl

[Leo Gura]

4 hours ago, Unio said:

Isn't this illegal? What if she reports you to the police?

Lol

Girls bilk clueless guys for $25 drinks in this town every day. And more. Arrest them all.

Give her a little taste of her own medicine if she starts acting up. She might actually start to respect you.

A hot girl texted me to buy her jewelry after I got her number. I laughed in her face and told her to take a hike. A week later she texted me back asking for a date. I was probably one of the few guys who called her out on her shit so directly. Which is exactly what a hot girl wants from a man she would date as opposed to just use. Hot girls know how to use guys. They know most guys are suckers. Those are the ones they use and never fuck. The ones they fuck are the ones who don't put up with their BS.

Set the frame: I'm the boss here. Hot girls are attracted to strength. So set a strong frame. Hot girls will test your frame to see if you are man enough to hold it or if you will fold and supplicate to her just because she is hot.

The hotter she is the more strict you gotta be with your frame. Like a rock. If she doesn't respect you she will not get wet for you.

So be unfuckwithable. Be a man.

[Jacob Morres]

3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

A hot girl texted me to buy her jewelry after I got her number

Omg. 

[Federico del pueblo]

12 hours ago, aurum said:

When I say I’d rather not touch her, that wouldn’t mean I wouldn’t be flirting or man to women. I would just purposefully not escalate.

What I’m saying is not good advice for new guys because most new guys are way to scared to escalate. Therefore they need to remove every possible excuse not to do if.

But once you’re comfortable with doing it, you actually can be smart about when to escalate and when not to. It becomes less of a rule.

So you'd have a date and basically just keep your man to woman stuff at a certain level, like say 4/10 sexual, and the touch also at a corresponding level?

@aurum

Edited February 17, 2022 by Federico del pueblo

[Leilani]

@Leo Gura

Please ban me from this forum. 

Leo is a full blown narcissist who pretends to be the authority on all things. He is way off base on so much but won't admit it even to himself. Not all women are how you portray them to be. 

Enlightenment has cost you your humanity. 

[Hello from Russia]

6 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Lol

Girls bilk clueless guys for $25 drinks in this town every day. And more. Arrest them all.

Give her a little taste of her own medicine if she starts acting up. She might actually start to respect you.

A hot girl texted me to buy her jewelry after I got her number. I laughed in her face and told her to take a hike. A week later she texted me back asking for a date. I was probably one of the few guys who called her out on her shit so directly. Which is exactly what a hot girl wants from a man she would date as opposed to just use. Hot girls know how to use guys. They know most guys are suckers. Those are the ones they use and never fuck. The ones they fuck are the ones who don't put up with their BS.

Set the frame: I'm the boss here. Hot girls are attracted to strength. So set a strong frame. Hot girls will test your frame to see if you are man enough to hold it or if you will fold and supplicate to her just because she is hot.

The hotter she is the more strict you gotta be with your frame. Like a rock. If she doesn't respect you she will not get wet for you.

So be unfuckwithable. Be a man.

Wouldn't you personally date a girl long term who had a history of using other men like this? Even though you didn't allow for such behavior

I'd feel so disgusted, to be honest, probably wouldn't even want to fuck her. Or fuck her more to truly "fuck her brains out' out of all that bullshit

Edited February 17, 2022 by Hello from Russia

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Leilani said:

@Leo Gura

Not all women are how you portray them to be. 

I'm not saying all women. I am saying what a guy needs to know to become successful with women.

[aurum]

2 hours ago, Federico del pueblo said:

So you'd have a date and basically just keep your man to woman stuff at a certain level, like say 4/10 sexual, and the touch also at a corresponding level?

@aurum

Maybe. If that’s what I think is appropriate to the context.

It all depends on the situation. I’ve escalated within seconds of meeting a girl and I’ve escalated at a glacier, slow pace before.

But no, you don’t need to grope a girl for her to get the message that you’re a man. Basic flirting and maybe some light touch is enough.

[Michal__]

So did you confirm the date before going there? For example the day before? You should do that with the next girl.

[Leo Gura]

When it comes to physical escalation you must read her face and reaction when you touch her. If she bristles or subtly avoids your touch, then you immediately pull back, and even push her away a bit. Physical escalation should never be something the woman bristles at. You can easily tell this just by observing her face whenever you touch her.

Example:

When I pulled that Instagram model, I tried to lead her to my car by simply taking and holding her hand. The most mild physical escalation possible. She pulled her hand away and refused to hold hands. I immediately pulled my hand away, played it cool, and just walk with her to my car. Then drove her home. Sometimes a girl will refuse to hold your hand but she will come home with you and let you fuck her. All game must be calibrated to the girl. If she bristles, pull back but lead forward as if nothing happened. It's on until she tells you to go away.

Nothing is gained by forcing your touch on a woman who bristles at it. Only increase touch if she likes it or doesn't resist.

If she is resisting your game and you keep running the same game, you're making a mistake. Adjust your game to suit her.

[Federico del pueblo]

@Leo Gura

Good advice. Thanks!

[K Ghoul]

6 minutes ago, Federico del pueblo said:

@Leo Gura

Good advice. Thanks!

I learned something new too - bristle! 

[Federico del pueblo]

27 minutes ago, K Ghoul said:

I learned something new too - bristle! 

Yeah Not being an English native speaker I had to look up this word

But I'm glad that you're also learning from the threads here.