How to find my style

[Yoremo]

Sup guys. I am trying to develop myself socially from lifelong ignoring that facet of life. I have basically not been interested and/or too traumatized to want to take action. So I am taking action, but I have really bad clothing and I want to feel better in my clothes. I am not expressive at all and I don´t really have anything I like in terms of clothes and I think that it would be really nice to have some nice clothes and to develop some kind of personality and being me.

So what would you do to find clothes and start to find this stuff out? I am probably going to ask some friends for some help as they are into fashion a lot, but any help here is appreciated too. I don´t have many clothe shops around where I live so I will have to find it online for the most part (I live in a small place). Atm I want to dress in a one colored t-shirt and jeans, like all guys and I just feel so boring doing that. And always black cuz expression hasn´t been me previously. I know that is one of the outfits I like but I just want to expand my wardrobe.

[Preety_India]

I think in Sweden there are a ton of clothing stores, retail outlets and you have Amazon..

Create an online shopping account and buy whatever you want. 

Or go to the stores if you want a great fit. 

See what people around you wear, check the latest trends. 

 

[K Ghoul]

Majority of the most fascinating men that I have encountered all looked like they were living on the streets. They just don’t give a fuck about how they look or how someone might perceive them

Develop yourself from within. The rest will follow 

[Yoremo]

23 hours ago, K Ghoul said:

Majority of the most fascinating men that I have encountered all looked like they were living on the streets. They just don’t give a fuck about how they look or how someone might perceive them

Develop yourself from within. The rest will follow 

@K Ghoulwhy do you dress the way you dress? don´t you care? What I mean is I don´t really intend to please everyone around me, I am just wanting to have clothes I actually like. Feel free to dismantle that if you wish as I see how I can be lying to myself but I think this is a genuine desire to just have some decent clothes

[Nahm]

@Yoremo

Make a Dreamboard. 

WHAT IF I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO WRITE ON MY DREAMBOARD? WHAT IF I DON’T KNOW WHAT I WANT?

If the aim is to discover what you do want, notice the habit of focusing on what you don’t want. Use the tool of Improv Writing, to change that habit to consciously continuing to focus on what you do want, by more or less simply applying the ‘rule’ of: “Yes…and”. 

On the back of your dreamboard, write a list of everything you know you don’t want. Then on the front, write the opposite of each of those. Then erase the back.

It feels really nice to experience seeing the board filled with lots of what you do want, since inherently what you do want feels good, to you. 

 

Also, any thought which seems to be about yourself which doesn’t resonate, doesn’t feel good to you, isn’t true. 

Judgement is the ‘trickiest thing’, and requires a willingness to notice, and the acknowledgment one is doing so, and the conscious choice to focus on a better feeling, more aligned with you, thought. 

If you are outside naked and it is cold; there are no ‘bad’ clothes. There would still however be, preference. 

When attempting to develop yourself, in which direction is the first step taken? To where would you go? Where is action, such that action can be, taken?

Preferences however, can be quite easily written on the board, and that indeed shall be. 

From the vantage point of looking at what’s written on the board, there you will see your preferences, your (ever-changing) style. 

[Leo Gura]

You can either hire a stylist consultant or simply look for styles in fashion magazines and online, and then shop for similar things until slowly you develop a killer wardrobe.

It takes years to develop a killer wardrobe. It cannot be done in one month.

Start with a single set: shirt, pants, shoes, belt, jacket. Get all that to fit and match well.

I have wasted thousands to develop my wardrobe. And it was worth it. Now I know how to dress cool and people compliment it all the time. It might take you 3-5 years to build a really awesome wardrobe.

[something_else]

I recently started using a service called StitchFix, they send you 5 items of clothing each month and you choose which to keep/buy. Technically their service is free, but if you return everything they charge you £10. And obviously you pay for the clothes

I've always really struggled to find clothes that fit because I'm tall and lanky. But I put my details into their site and they sent me some killer clothes that fit better than anything I've ever bought myself. I've kept 7/10 of the items they've sent me so far

They weren't clothes that I'd see in a shop and buy myself, but the moment I put them on they fit perfectly and the style suited me way more than I expected

They claim to have a real human stylist pick out clothes for you, I didn't believe them at first but I'm not really sure how else they could get such great results. Would seriously recommend

Edited February 16, 2022 by something_else

[flowboy]

On 15/02/2022 at 1:14 PM, Yoremo said:

Sup guys. I am trying to develop myself socially from lifelong ignoring that facet of life. I have basically not been interested and/or too traumatized to want to take action. So I am taking action, but I have really bad clothing and I want to feel better in my clothes. I am not expressive at all and I don´t really have anything I like in terms of clothes and I think that it would be really nice to have some nice clothes and to develop some kind of personality and being me.

So what would you do to find clothes and start to find this stuff out? I am probably going to ask some friends for some help as they are into fashion a lot, but any help here is appreciated too. I don´t have many clothe shops around where I live so I will have to find it online for the most part (I live in a small place). Atm I want to dress in a one colored t-shirt and jeans, like all guys and I just feel so boring doing that. And always black cuz expression hasn´t been me previously. I know that is one of the outfits I like but I just want to expand my wardrobe.

Get a female friend with a good sense of style, but who you can also get to understand what you like and don't like, to go shopping with you.

Seriously.

You don't want to be winging this unless you have a good feel for it, or unless you're willing to spend a lot of money on mistakes.