How To Deal With Self-doubt?

[Afonso]

So, some days ago, I cold approached a girl I found was very different from me (different values, more like a bad girl, a party girl). I wanted to conquer my fears and be more confident. I wasn't actually planning to meet with this girl later or to hang out with her - just approach her (conquer fear) and get her number.

We eventually met some days later. She talked about all her cool stories, all the fun parties she went, all the crazy and dangerous stuff, all the adrenaline that was in her life. I felt like my life was so much emptier - in comparison with hers.

I've been studying the topic on Self-Esteem, Assertiveness and Integrity, so I kept being authentic and didn't fake who I was. I was able to relate to her on the use of drugs (since I had some 5-MeO trips).

The thing is, I found her stories so exciting. Like her life was so full of adventurous, fun, enjoyment and experience. I started doubting myself on the way home, but I caught those bastard thoughts and didn't give up to them. However, they are still ruminating in my head.

My question to you guys is

How do you handle this Self-Doubt? How do you handle thinking that your investment in personal development, meditating and limited social life is worth it? How do you handle hearing such life-stories and putting it into perspective? How do you handle feeling a pull towards the kind of life every teenager wants to have?

Edited January 14, 2017 by Afonso

[Key Elements]

36 minutes ago, Afonso said:

How do you handle feeling a pull towards the kind of life every teenager wants to have?

What is the life that every teenager wants to have?

[Afonso]

Just now, Key Elements said:

What is the life that every teenager wants to have?

I guess the stereotypical modern-world teenager wants experiences, wants approval and validation, wants socializing, wants social status. 

[Key Elements]

13 hours ago, Afonso said:

I guess the stereotypical modern-world teenager wants experiences, wants approval and validation, wants socializing, wants social status. 

Well, if you take a look in your high school, does every teenager want that? Let's say you went to a different high school. How about actually looking into a different high school? Try picking a very "good" high school in your neighbourhood to visit. Does every teenager want that? Why or why not? You don't have to go along with any teenager or make friends with them, just observe. There is a saying, "You become the 5 people you hang out with the most. Choose carefully."

Tell you something else...

Go visit your local university on your free time. Just take a walk there for a day - nothing special. Browse their catalog of majors. Did any of them match your talents and what you love to do? Which is the closest match? If you didn't find a match, see if there is an university counsellor and go talk to him/her. Make up a liberal study if necessary. In the meantime, visit a local coffee shop and stop and smell the roses along the way. Time to take a break and observe and make light decisions.

Get creative. The university is not only for studies. You could also get ideas for a career and where to travel (exchange programs). Don't miss out in this world. It's a great place to do networking / startup. This is where your life purpose comes in. You could do this throughout the life. The university is a great place - many options and resources. Have fun here. Meditate here in a quiet spot under some tree. Join a yoga program here or nearby. 

I'm not suggesting for you to do any of this - just sharing with you thoughts and ideas. I'm just saying that for me it's casual and relaxing. At the same time, I learn a lot in an easy way.

Edited January 15, 2017 by Key Elements

[Gabriel Antonio]

i wrote on my wall today "expect self-doubt". this is a reminder to stay aware and mindful that this will happen. in other words, just the awareness that self-doubt is occurring already helps get rid of it. you will recognize it and say, "OH! this is self-doubt." and it will be in-the-moment. by noticing it, it dissolves.

[eskwire]

@Afonso I have a lot of crazy stories. That's all I really have from the past decade and they don't make me happy. Meditating does. 

When I tell these stories, they sound like they made me happy and fulfilled. But no.

From my experience, the more you get to know people, you are likely to find out that they are unfulfilled...suffering. Everyone who is unconscious suffers.  That's why this work is universal. Partiers are usually escaping their pain via parties. 

[General 2]

@Afonso Think of it as you can life such a lifestyle just choose not too (because you have other activities more aligned with  your values).

Seriously, what prevents you from living such a "crazy" life? Nothing (in a sense of resources). I think what makes people bitter the most is that they become envious of other people's lifes because of lack of resources (mostly material) to lead such a lifestyle...But in your case you have everything in your hands so no need to worry, just take more joy in what you do on a regular basis and think of this girl as a source of new information.

For instance, sometimes I feel jealous of my colleagues travelling and then realize that I can do the same (considering that we have similar incomes), just choose not to, because I'd better save money for something else (education, clothes etc). So I simply listen to them and feel happy for them while minding my own agenda.

P.S. Partying is fun once or twice, however in my opinion its useless...it doesn't develop you as a person and there's a number of more civilized ways to get socialized. This doesn't mean that this girl leads a wrong lifestyle. Just see her experience complimentary to your own.

Edited January 15, 2017 by General 2

[Harikrishnan]

Go and find how it is like party, have adventures like that meantime meditate.