Addicted to porn

[Raptorsin7]

3 minutes ago, puporing said:

@Raptorsin7 There's prob going to be a whole spectrum of arrangements. People will still go through periods of monogamy despite poly being an option. People who choose poly arrangements for a time can still be open to monogamy and so on, and stuff in between. It's a lot of complexity and I think requires more maturity for all involved. 

Personally wouldn't want a 'main partner' situation if I'm entering in a poly setup as it makes anyone else seem lesser. In this case, everyone should strive to be independent, but some dependence seems healthy too. Even in our current system, some people often remain as friends after breakups/divorces. A 'main partner' set-up is also fine if well communicated to others so they know what to expect. All in all it requires better communication skills the more complex it gets.

In regards to child-rearing, I think it would be spread out to the partners if they got along/want to be part of it, their family members, and the community they're in. How well childcare is funded also plays a role. Personally feel like this is a healthy thing for the child to be exposed to more parental-like figures than just their biological parents. And this creates a sense of 'children are not properties' of the parents. Or one can simply choose not to have children when engaged in a poly setup.

This seems like it would require everyone to be virtually enlightened. You would need to essentially restructure society and have a system where this equality of access between partners.

I don't mind the idea of polyamory if everyone involved was close friends or had a deep connection, but unless everyone was on the same wavelength i could see it getting ugly really quickly.

Imagine if you have a poly community with one guy impregnating all the woman and forcing the community to raise virtually a small minority of men's children.

I also like the idea of having abundant sexual options, sometimes I see so many attractive woman and it would be great to spend time with a bunch of them. The idea of being forced to commit to one woman is kind of constraining. But at the same time i'd love to find one person who I could form a deep bond with. I think i'd be happy with 1 person because life has so much more to offer aside from just sex

[puporing]

6 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

life has so much more to offer aside from just sex

It's not just about sex though. It's very possible to form deep bonds with more than one person. But I get what you're saying.

Edited February 17, 2022 by puporing

[puporing]

3 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

This seems like it would require everyone to be virtually enlightened. You would need to essentially restructure society and have a system where this equality of access between partners.

Yeah like I was saying it requires greater consciousness of all involved. So we won't have this until quite some time in the future, perhaps. Right now poly can only remain 'underground' and to people that find a way somehow.

[Raptorsin7]

2 minutes ago, puporing said:

Yeah like I was saying it requires greater consciousness of all involved. So we won't have this until quite some time in the future, perhaps. Right now poly can only remain 'underground' and to people that find a way somehow.

Yeah I could see this working if everyone involved was as conscious as the most conscious people i've ever met. But even then I still would love having a wife and a traditional family. Maybe you mix some poly into that

[puporing]

7 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

Yeah I could see this working if everyone involved was as conscious as the most conscious people i've ever met. But even then I still would love having a wife and a traditional family. Maybe you mix some poly into that

Yes and there is nothing wrong with choosing/wanting that. I think what I'm mostly pushing for in my lifetime, is the hope for poly arrangements to not be discriminated against so heavily, even if only a minority of the population choose to engage in it. It's not that different from being gay not long ago (as in the level of 'hatred and discrimination').

Edited February 17, 2022 by puporing

[Raptorsin7]

2 minutes ago, puporing said:

Yes and there is nothing wrong with choosing/wanting that. I think what I'm mostly pushing for in my lifetime, is the hope for poly arrangements to not be discriminated against so heavily, even if only a minority of the population choose to engage in it. It's not that different from being gay not long ago (as in the level of 'hatred and discrimination').

Is it possible the desire for polyamory is rooted in some kind disharmony with your life? 

 

[puporing]

1 minute ago, Raptorsin7 said:

Is it possible the desire for polyamory is rooted in some kind disharmony with your life? 

What you might consider disharmony is subjective to what the current mainstream paradigm calls for. One might call someone who do not want to let go of people they love/have connected with, someone who desire deep connections with beings they come across - to be 'disharmonious', but this is based on the status quo thinking which says one should not feel that way or want that, which you also mentioned is not necessarily optimal. Most psychologists would label this as sickness, but perhaps they're just denying the truths that I am presenting and have directly experienced, and am willing to speak about. I have not excluded the desire for monogamy either, but people can want very paradoxical things in life.  

[Raptorsin7]

Just now, puporing said:

What you might consider disharmony is subjective to what the current mainstream paradigm calls for. One might call someone who do not want to let go of people they love/have connected with, someone who desire deep connections with beings they come across - to be 'disharmonious', but this is based on the status quo thinking which says one should not feel that way or want that, which you also mentioned is not necessarily optimal. Most psychologists would label this as sickness, but perhaps they're just denying the truths that I am presenting and have directly experienced, and am willing to speak about. I have not excluded the desire for monogamy either, but people can want very paradoxical things in life.  

I'm talking about disharmony with your own being, not in regards to subjective social standards.

I think living in harmony is known to yourself, but if you're not living in harmony or you have never felt it then you wouldn't know it. I'm not certain though.

For example right now I am not living in harmony, so maybe the desire for monogamy is based on disharmony idk

[puporing]

@Raptorsin7 It's hard to say for sure as I'm always growing and evolving too. At least in part has to do with wanting to explore so right now this feels more harmonious to me. Maybe one day I'll get crushed enough to give it up . Will have to figure it out through experience I guess! 

Edited February 17, 2022 by puporing

[Raptorsin7]

@puporing Yeah who knows how our desires will change as we grow (:

[SQAAD]

@Leo GuraCan you define  high quality porn please. 

[Ulax]

I'd recommend listening to this podcast regarding addiction:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5meU_-EnVk&t=78s

I think IFS could help you out a great deal.

I'm also aware that porn addiction is sometimes related to sexual trauma, too. So, that might be something to think about too. However, that's just me throwing out ideas for you. IFS can deal with that too, if it is indeed an issue for you.

Good luck!

[Ulax]

On 15/02/2022 at 7:57 PM, Leo Gura said:

Haha, nah.

When you reach God consciousness you will be able to orgasm just from watching two people have sex as if you were both of them, because you actually are.

You guys have no idea how profound porn becomes with God consciousness.

I can run a slide show of porn photos and be conscious that I am everyone in the entire universe who ever fucked, and I can orgasm to my infinite God self as the Mind which imagines all of human sexuality.

Ya'll are not even conscious of what porn is. You totally take it for granted.

If some guy is fucking a girl, that is me fucking her and me getting fucked. But you are not conscious enough to understand that.

I like both soft and hard core. They both got their utility. Mostly I watch hard.

What I told Curt was that I watch the highest quality porn. Which is independent of soft or hard.

Damn, that's a high lay count for you then

[Ulax]

9 minutes ago, Medhansh said:

Paid porn bro. You know the famous websites.

These websites will give you one hour-long ultra 4K HD 2160p juicy porn videos, with interesting stories.

All other websites will contain either low quality videos, or shortened versions of those high quality ones.

If you want high quality porn, you gotta pay up. 

@Medhansh Lol is Leo really meaning that by high-quality porn? I don't think so myself.

I sincerely do love a good story line tho lol.

"Mum I'm stuck in the washine machine again! Help me pls!"

"Okay, I'll help you son. Here you go, I'll pull you out."

"Mum! No! Don't pull me out by my dick!"

?

Edited February 18, 2022 by Ulax
Added effect to my storyline hehe

[lostingenosmaze]

@Knowledge Hoarder That comparison flys out the window when you go into 2D/fantasy porn territory. Fapping to your favorite hypersexualized 3D fighting game girls is certainly a different kind of pleasure than having sex in real life. And that's just an example, you could probably imagine other kinds of wildly erotic scenarios that I won't be able to explicate here ?

When porn becomes that much of a hobby, you'd probably would prefer to stay inside than go out and try to get girls.

Edited February 18, 2022 by lostingenosmaze

[Etherial Cat]

On 16/02/2022 at 10:57 AM, MarkusR said:

@Etherial Cat Mic drop ?. Im for sure on your side.

I'll say it again, the more effort I put into turning her on, satisfying her needs. The more submissive she becomes and willing to do pretty much anything; and therefore the sex becomes amazing.

If I treat the sex like a porn, which most of the time is just the guy doing nothing and the girl just automatically starts sucking his dick, it never works out as well.

You really cant expect her to do a lot without you taking the lead. Your the one doing the fucking, its simply the sexual dynamic between men and women.

Yeah, exactly.

A girl who's got the feels' for you and is turned on will be in total surrender.

And the more she trusts you, the more she opens up and become receptive.

That dynamic between the masculine and the feminine is what everyone is after... But a lot of people misses its healthy expression.

Though I don't think it means she's passive. A lot of the work can be done on both side.