Is time seeking?

[Sugarcoat]

So for the past year or so I keep having these subtle releases of tension, tension in my whole reality, not any specific emotion,  my sense of separation has decreased gradually, many beliefs and concept has lost their realness and I cannot go back to how it was previously 

for example I don’t resonate with my oldest posts at all anymore they make no sense hehe 

So my sense of context for what’s happening has decreased, reality is more “zoomed in” now than before, and I can’t go back.

For example my sense of time is less, thoughts about the future have less pull to them than before.

so it seems like the sense of time is related to seeking

when one seeks a sense of self or fulfillment it’s always in time, something in the future that one hopes to happen, so there is excessive fantasy and thinking about the future, seems like one is trying to  have a sense of control about the future, to try to make sure that one is moving closer to what one desires

these thoughts about the future have a pull to them, ones sense of self is invested in them

what I’ve found is that when I have lost hope that something will happen, or I just stop desiring it in this seeking kind of way, a certain timeline of what I’ve anticipated will happen can dissolve and so the sense of time is less, and the sense of separation also

its weird in a way, I used to feel that time is so solid, but in the past year this sense of time has slowly decreased gradually 

Reality has never been so moment to moment, it’s weird but also not weird

 

anyome relates?

Edited February 14, 2022 by Sugarcoat

[brun0]

yes honey, not trying to sugarcoat, but in 10 years time, when you read this, you probably won't understand what or why you just typed this 

Edited February 15, 2022 by brun0

[Sugarcoat]

5 hours ago, brun0 said:

yes honey, not trying to sugarcoat, but in 10 years time, when you read this, you probably won't understand what or why you just typed this 

Probably heheheheh

[Julian gabriel]

@Sugarcoat Iv'e been experiencing a similar shift from living week by week to day by day to moment by moment to no time at all.

each room a different universe. each person a new lover. it feels like I previously imagined heaven to be. 

[Sugarcoat]

On 2022-02-15 at 0:11 PM, Julian gabriel said:

@Sugarcoat Iv'e been experiencing a similar shift from living week by week to day by day to moment by moment to no time at all.

each room a different universe. each person a new lover. it feels like I previously imagined heaven to be. 

I still have some sense of time, but it has gradually decreased and not much left

as you say, every moment feels more fresh and new, in comparison to before

i feel like I’m walking into my own grave like I’m gonna be gone soon lol, not in a bad way tho, just weird but not weird at the same time 

so you would say there is no sense of separation left there were you are?