Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0
Forza21

Retreatment+ meditation 4h a day + THC - my relation 

2 posts in this topic


Lately i'm meditating a looot.  Today it was 4h non stop. I also smoked some THC. 

 why is that, my mind makes everything, to keep me away from the present moment? Every guru says, it's the key, and my mind is doing everything so i just look away. it's all my self-deception, so i won't look.  Enough!  So i observe, few hours straight... and what i've noticed..


There are millions of different voices, who says different things in different ways. But these are just thoughts! all of them! Some of them act as they try to help me. Other act like they try to stop it. Other act like they care about others, so maybe i should think about them. It's all thoughts! They all keep me from the present moment! WHY?

But when i'm patient enough, the storm of thoughts, will eventually pass. And i notice, how unaware i'm. There's briefe moment of no-thinking. It's beautiful, yet scary, because "something's gone". And after that, another thought comes, which claims that "it did it!" . False again! 

So there's basically no one who thinks .
There's no one who does anything.
There are only self -referring thoughts! And that's not me!!

So i don't have any control of what the next thought may be. And nor do i have control or what happens next.

it's all an illusion?

Don't i have any free will?

Why this mind keeps my away from this? From the truth? 

Then there is a thought that I" do anything and "I" must reach "enlightened"  Lol. Those are just thoughts. When i just give up it comes...

When the train of thoughts stop, there's a fear that "I" might be gone. But it's all illusion. What i gain is sweet music of life. Everything becomes fresh and vibrant. Everything has his own rhythm.  And i feel like i'm sinking in the present moment. In life. It feels like home. But there's none who achieves that.

Do i make it right?

Edited by Forza21

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

yes what happens is going to happen, you're looking at it or lost in it

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0