What to say or to do if a girl asks financial favors

[StarStruck]

I had it once or twice when girls ask a financial favor in an indirect way, indirectly signaling me so I get the hint and buy her something. It is a very clever way of doing it because it is covert. 

For example: This girl told me she is cold, that her coat is getting old, that she doesn’t have another coat, and some other similar remarks. 

I acted like I didn’t get the hint and just showed sympathy for her coldness. Is this the right way to do it? I only knew this girl for 2 dates and she started ignoring me afterwards. She probably found me boring and then tried to degrade me to a sugar daddy. LoL. 

[Federico del pueblo]

Quote

Is this the right way to do it?

Well, I would've said "sounds like you must buy yourself a new coat soon".

I mean what do you want with a girl like that? If you don't want to become her sugar daddy then you don't buy her things (if we're talking about a girl you've been on 1-2 dates with).

[Michal__]

Lol. Max a not overly expensive gift on her birthday or the valentine's day or whatever.

[Yarco]

Yeah you did it right and passed the shit test.

If it's indirect, just play stupid like it went totally over your head.

If it's direct, treat it the same way as if a guy you had just met asked you.

Edited February 13, 2022 by Yarco

[K Ghoul]

You can signal her also indirectly in a covert way that financial favors are best returned with sexual favors. 

 

[aurum]

3 hours ago, StarStruck said:

For example: This girl told me she is cold, that her coat is getting old, that she doesn’t have another coat, and some other similar remarks. 

Yeah I’m not convinced that was her sneaky way of her asking you to buy her a coat.

Ya’ll are so paranoid about women trying to use you for money. Most women are interested in men far beyond what they can provide financially. And most of you don’t even have money for them to leech off of. So quit ya paranoia.

[Roy]

She wanted you to buy her a coat after 2 dates? They are getting more ambitious by the day lmao.

I'll only buy a gift for a girl after about 1 to 2 months at minimum, and it will be a surprise not because she asked.

[somegirl]

Damn, I wouldn't have the audacity to ask my bf for material stuff. 

Either he genuinely wants to buy me stuff himself, or not. 

But tbh, a gift, or a flower, or any other sign of appreciation here and there, would feel nice, ngl. At least I would see that I'm not taken for granted. 

But yeah, she might indeed not be hinting you to buy her coat. Idk. Only time will tell. But if it turns out she was on fact hinting you to buy her a coat, given you don't know each other yet, is a red flag. ? But don't be too paranoid, see with the time.

[K Ghoul]

5 hours ago, StarStruck said:

For example: This girl told me she is cold, that her coat is getting old, that she doesn’t have another coat, and some other similar remarks. 

 

 

Why don’t you get her a coat from some thrift shop they’re probably under $20 there. Not having a coat to wear is like tier homeless, if things are that bad in her life she would certainly appreciate any coat even if it’s from a thrift store. If she won’t appreciate it then you have your answer.

 

[Average Investor]

I have had a girl ask me to buy them food and deliver it to her after not even having a regular date, but just hanging out once. I didn't talk to her after that. 

My ex would actually buy me quite a bit of stuff. I never liked her spending much on me though. Some people just like show love through gifts. 

[K Ghoul]

11 minutes ago, Average Investor said:

My ex would actually buy me quite a bit of stuff. I never liked her spending much on me though. Some people just like show love through gifts. 

just buying you random stuff? Hopefully, it was somewhat useful to you. I hate getting random shit that I don’t need in my life, especially “souvenirs” that I later will have to get rid of anyway- I like empty spaces, uncluttered 

[Roy]

3 hours ago, K Ghoul said:

You can signal her also indirectly in a covert way that financial favors are best returned with sexual favors. 

I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not lol.

[K Ghoul]

3 minutes ago, Roy said:

I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not lol.

I like to keep things vague when I don’t know what the situation is exactly- if she’s trying to use him or not  if he confirms/determines that she’s after his wallet, the he should definitely proceed by signaling that he’s expecting sexual favors in return 

 

 

 

[Average Investor]

@K Ghoul At the time I was super cheap and would not buy stuff like newer shoes. She would buy my pairs of shoes, watches, and things like that. Usually, as a birthday gift, but sometimes randomly. 

Edited February 14, 2022 by Average Investor

[K Ghoul]

1 hour ago, Average Investor said:

I never liked her spending much on me though. 

@Average Investor I once offered to pay for a man-we were having drinks- he looked at me like I was crazy. I can’t imagine buying him actual stuff/gifts he would probably have me killed, to him to accept anything monetary from a woman was like an insult. Was it something like that for you, too? Why did you not like her spending money on you? 

[Average Investor]

@K Ghoul Later in our relationship it was never an issue to go back and forth on who might pay for dinner or things like that. I suppose looking back on it I did a lot of stuff like getting her a car. I didn't directly buy her the car, but I bought a car worth $1,500-$2,000 and gave her it for the price I bought it at $500, then cleaned it, maintained it, etc. I spent a lot of time and money driving her to work, so she could save up the money too. 

It made me feel weird accepting stuff like that just because I had the money to buy that stuff if I wanted to. However, she would insist, so I let her do it.

I think at the start of the relationship I did pay for most of the stuff for a bit. If I were to do it over, I would prefer both of us not spend too much on each other. A lot of it was pretty wasteful looking back on it. 

[Leo Gura]

Just look at her like she is stupid and laugh.

[Preety_India]

I don't see any problem in spending or buying things for a person who you're with. If it's not a relationship, it won't be cool to buy them things. 

But a coat is not a big deal at all. And if she is really suffering then you could get her one. It's just a gesture. Even strangers buy gifts for each other. 

I gifted my ex boyfriend a big steel bowl like a couple of them for $25 on our second date because he was really having a hard time cooking and I was constantly telling him to get some bowls and he wanted to save his money. So I decided to get it for him. I wasn't even sure if I was going to be with him but I felt bad that he was having a hard time. 

A coat would hardly cost anything. I wouldn't even think twice if I were a guy. 

She is not being materialistic at all. She didn't even ask for anything expensive or unnecessary. She didn't ask directly or make a demand. She simply said that her coat is  too old and that's completely fine. You might be overthinking this so much. 

Girls aren't gold diggers maybe some are. But I've seen a lot of men have this mentality that any girl who is asking for any favor is automatically a gold digger. 

Some girls don't want to be with cheap men.. They want to feel special. Not in a big way though.. 

 

[K Ghoul]

@Preety_India Idk she could be just dumb/immature, talking about coat issues with the guy she just met.. it’s weird, to say the least. The whole thing just doesn’t make sense 

[Preety_India]

@K Ghoul I think the girl is completely fine. It's just over blown. If she were to read this thread I would be curious to know her reaction. I suspect she would be mightily disappointed at the OP. 

 

 

Edited February 14, 2022 by Preety_India