What to say or to do if a girl asks financial favors

[Nahm]

Why so frugal then?

Why not, “sweet, what’s you’re favorite coat shop, let’s go, it’ll be fun.”

 

Also, are you a mind reader or not? 

[K Ghoul]

30 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

No, she really liked me when I approached her. I could see it in her eyes. I just messed it up by being boring, not knowing how to game her.

The thing is that, I had girls tell me I'm boring so it would be a disservice to blame her. She is a very beautiful girl and she deserves the best.

unless you were being rude or a creep she would not ban you if she liked you like you said she did. I insist that she was looking for a sugar daddy and having realized that you are not it she decided to waste no more of her time on you and move on to the greener pastures.

[Leo Gura]

6 minutes ago, Nahm said:

Why not, “sweet, what’s you’re favorite coat shop, let’s go, it’ll be fun.”

Do not encourage this guy to be a sucker.

[Nahm]

@Leo Gura

I didn’t / aren’t. 

[Tim R]

12 minutes ago, Nahm said:

Why so frugal then?

Why not, “sweet, what’s you’re favorite coat shop, let’s go, it’ll be fun.”

Wait, are you saying that it would be a good idea to buy her a coat just because he likes her? Or what's your point?

[StarStruck]

17 minutes ago, Nahm said:

Why so frugal then?

Why not, “sweet, what’s you’re favorite coat shop, let’s go, it’ll be fun.”

 

 

I want her to have sex with me because she wants me. If I have to buy a coat, I rather go to a prostitute.

Also the problem is not this particular girl. The problem is I'm not very emotional (apathetic) and a little bit stuck up. I rather spend my money on some kind of therapy to fix that, rather than to pay that money for coats.

Quote

Also, are you a mind reader or not? 

No, why?

13 minutes ago, K Ghoul said:

unless you were being rude or a creep she would not ban you if she liked you like you said she did. I insist that she was looking for a sugar daddy and having realized that you are not it she decided to waste no more of her time on you and move on to the greener pastures.

She liked me when I approached her but she got bored. People can change their minds. Also I don't look very rich or something, nor am I old lol.

Edited February 14, 2022 by StarStruck

[Nahm]

@StarStruck

I’m a bit pigeonholed at this point. 

Was most definitely not trying to say or imply ‘be a sucker’. 

I do wish you the best. 

[Hello from Russia]

A good vision is to be so financially abundant so that such things are not really an issue so that you can employ @Nahm's perspective effortlessly

 

Edited February 14, 2022 by Hello from Russia

[something_else]

31 minutes ago, Hello from Russia said:

A good vision is to be so financially abundant is that such things are not really an issue so that you can employ @Nahm's perspective effortlessly

 

Even if you’re rich, buying girls stuff early in a relationship would set up a very questionable dynamic

[mandyjw]

@StarStruck Were you wearing a coat when she said that? 

[aurum]

16 hours ago, StarStruck said:

When girls find me boring (I can see it on their face), they always try to pull that trick of getting something material out of me. This pattern happened more than once so I got a good nose for it.

I just need to be more fun and add more value to the dates. In that case, they won't ask me for material favors because she already got hers if you know what I mean.

I mean I do get it. They go on a date with me for the fun, perhaps I'm a little boring and silent at times, and they think, what they heck am I doing here? Let me at least get a coat out of this.

19 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Where are you meeting these girls, Seeking Arrangements?

If this actually is happening to you on a regular basis, then you need to mix up your earlier approach.

Don’t wait until the date to show her that you’re not boring.

And you can actually spend money on women before you sleep with them, but it needs to be done in the right way.

For instance, you could buy a boat and then invite girls to come party on it. That be like a Dan Bilzerian type of move. Technically you’d be spending cash to help you get laid, but it’s not overtly paying for sex.

 

Edited February 14, 2022 by aurum

[Nahm]

2 hours ago, Tim R said:

Wait, are you saying that it would be a good idea to buy her a coat just because he likes her? Or what's your point?

No. But I don’t think I should elaborate on this one, because I don’t want to contribute to keeping the thread going when the user has already been threatened with being banned. And because I like participating on this forum, and am choosing to abide by the guidelines. A (my) different way of thinking, and my offering of different perspectives, can be interpreted as disruptive, which is honestly not a far cry from already having been interpreted as ‘encouraging him to be a sucker’. Not at all what Nahm’s thinkin.

*And just in case this is misconstrued, I mean this sincerely, respectfully, and not mockingly. 

 

Freedom of speech rights do not extend to privately owned websites, such as this one. You must follow the community guidelines.

Disruptive behavior is not tolerated.

 

@StarStruck You’re free to pm me if you’re interested. 

[Miguel1]

3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

If you buy a girl a coat before she has sex with you I am banning you from this forum.

This shit was funny as hell, I can’t.

I’m loving this ’extra’ non-bullshit, straight to the point vibe from ya. Go Leo! 
 

P.S. You have probably thought about this a bunch already but maybe now, seriously, consider taking a break from this public work and just bask in your own high vibrational energy, bliss and satisfaction for a while. Enjoy life a bit, won’t ya  

[K Ghoul]

1 hour ago, mandyjw said:

@StarStruck Were you wearing a coat when she said that? 

You suggesting that she may have been hinting on him covering her with his coat to stop her from shivering on a cold starry night so they could then stand close feeling each other’s warmth holding hands lovingly staring into each others eyes? 
 

[Federico del pueblo]

14 minutes ago, K Ghoul said:

You suggesting that she may have been hinting on him covering her with his coat to stop her from shivering on a cold starry night so they could then stand close feeling each other’s warmth holding hands lovingly staring into each others eyes? 
 

That what you just described must be like the female version of porn, right?

[K Ghoul]

 

3 minutes ago, Federico del pueblo said:

That what you just described must be like the female version of porn, right?

Oh yes  My most romantic date was in the cemetery at night us sitting at the tomb holding hands gazing into dark sky watching stars… the guy looked like the prince of darkness… good times… 

 

Unfortunately, this is not what’s happening here and I am mystified as to why many are refusing to accept the sad reality - that she just needed a new coat 

[Peace-and-Love]

20 hours ago, Preety_India said:

I don't see any problem in spending or buying things for a person who you're with. If it's not a relationship, it won't be cool to buy them things. 

But a coat is not a big deal at all. And if she is really suffering then you could get her one. It's just a gesture. Even strangers buy gifts for each other. 

I gifted my ex boyfriend a big steel bowl like a couple of them for $25 on our second date because he was really having a hard time cooking and I was constantly telling him to get some bowls and he wanted to save his money. So I decided to get it for him. I wasn't even sure if I was going to be with him but I felt bad that he was having a hard time. 

A coat would hardly cost anything. I wouldn't even think twice if I were a guy. 

She is not being materialistic at all. She didn't even ask for anything expensive or unnecessary. She didn't ask directly or make a demand. She simply said that her coat is  too old and that's completely fine. You might be overthinking this so much. 

Girls aren't gold diggers maybe some are. But I've seen a lot of men have this mentality that any girl who is asking for any favor is automatically a gold digger. 

Some girls don't want to be with cheap men.. They want to feel special. Not in a big way though.. 

 

I would have to agree with you on this one.  If you look at it from the opposite perspective (Of a women’s rather than a mans) a lot of dating women’s groups will say that if the man doesn’t offer to pay for a date that it is a massive red flag as men should be the providers and protectors in a relationship. They will often say if they don’t provide or show signs at the beginning of the relationship you are wasting your time. I’m just being honest and telling the truth. 
 

On 2/13/2022 at 3:54 PM, StarStruck said:

I had it once or twice when girls ask a financial favor in an indirect way, indirectly signaling me so I get the hint and buy her something. It is a very clever way of doing it because it is covert. 

For example: This girl told me she is cold, that her coat is getting old, that she doesn’t have another coat, and some other similar remarks. 

I acted like I didn’t get the hint and just showed sympathy for her coldness. Is this the right way to do it? I only knew this girl for 2 dates and she started ignoring me afterwards. She probably found me boring and then tried to degrade me to a sugar daddy. LoL. 

*also read what I wrote above. 

I think it depends on how the girl was wording it and her intention. Some girls are users and only looking for financial gain.

She probably was testing you too see if you’re a good provider. Did you offer to pay for the first or second date? 
 

If she was cold I think the right thing to do would be to offer your jacket to keep her warm. If you really liked her, and the vibe I get you don’t, but if you did the right thing to do would to buy her a coat and tell her you want to be there and support her. Feel into her emotions and sympathize with her. It could also be a great way to progress the relationship romantically if there was something there chemistry wise. 

 

Being in this forum really allows me to reflect on my current relationship. I feel so blessed and lucky because my bf bought me a winter coat for Christmas and on our day off we went shopping together and he bought me another expensive designer coat for $150. And that was because he wanted to, not because I asked him. But then again, if I probably asked he would of done it anyways. I also provide for my bf and buy gifts for him as well. We celebrated a Christmas together like little kids and opened a ton of presents for a few hours! It was so much fun, giving to each other but that’s just what we chose to do specifically. I love giving gifts because I enjoy seeing the person happy in the receiving. I actually enjoyed watching my bf opening his presents more than opening my own! Lol but I did enjoy and appreciate all the gifts he gave me. 
 

 

[Average Investor]

1 hour ago, mandyjw said:

@StarStruck Were you wearing a coat when she said that? 

I am surprised no one else mentioned this. It would have been a smooth move. However, I am sure this sub forum would have been more in favor of asking her to come to his place to warm up. 

 

[Federico del pueblo]

15 minutes ago, K Ghoul said:

 

Oh yes  My most romantic date was in the cemetery at night us sitting at the tomb holding hands gazing into dark sky watching stars… the guy looked like the prince of darkness… good times… 

Well, the dark sky part sounds nice. But I'm a bit surprised by the cemetery and sitting at the tomb part. That sounds a bit spooky and like it could be the beginning of a horror movie where all of a sudden the guy says "and now I'm gonna show you your tomb (evil face)"

But nice if you enjoyed it.

[K Ghoul]

16 minutes ago, Federico del pueblo said:

Well, the dark sky part sounds nice. But I'm a bit surprised by the cemetery and sitting at the tomb part. That sounds a bit spooky and like it could be the beginning of a horror movie where all of a sudden the guy says "and now I'm gonna show you your tomb (evil face)"

But nice if you enjoyed it.

@Federico del pueblo  haha he did ended up committing murder - the murdering of my heart  blood and death. we’re cool now though, all buried in past, no one died.

 

What do you think about this coat situation? Do you think she tired to use him, or there was no motif in her mentioning that she doesn’t have a good coat?

Edited February 15, 2022 by K Ghoul