Will you tell your future girlfriend/wife you were a pickup artist?

[Pavement]

Just saw this reddit  post, a woman said she found out her fiancé used to be into pickup and now she’s rethinking their relationship.  
will you tell your future partner about your pickup life? 

 

[aurum]

@Pavement the last girlfriend I had not only knew I did pickup, she met many of the guys I did it with and saw it in action.

In reality, the lines between “pickup” and “guys going out to get laid” are getting very blurry. Pickup used to be this weird thing where only the most socially awkward dudes with leather boots and very gimmicky game did it.

Now with the emphasis on “natural game”, its morphed into being more normal. Guys with regular level social skills have gotten into it. And I think that’s how she saw it. Just a bunch of dudes trying to get laid.

[Leo Gura]

Don't frame it as "I do pickup". Girls will not understand this, it sounds creepy to them. Instead she should just sense that you are a highly social guy who goes out a lot, talks to everyone, and is in high demand socially. She should just sense that you are the kind of guy who has no problem getting laid or talking to new girls.

Do not try to explain the technical details of pickup to her. She will not underastand it nor does she care to.

If she asks why you go out so much, tell her you work on your social skills as part of your personal development as a man. I will sometimes just tell girls I approach that I used to be very introverted and work a lot on my social skills.

[whatishappeningtome]

You could literally just say "I used to date a lot" or "I had a pretty crazy life before I met you".

[Hello from Russia]

I got an impression that most girls actually appreciate it

[Roy]

They all want the charming player to pick them and have a commitment, but they don't want to hear of all the things you had to do to become that guy. Just don't say anything, even when they ask just play coy and let their imagination run wild. There is basically nothing to gain from sharing history, but there is something to lose.

When I'm with someone I care about I really don't give a shit about their past, unless they truly need support to unpack something. Enjoying the moment and planning the future is way more fruitful.

[Lyubov]

 “Dating for 4 years and engaged for a year” wtf ? 

these Reddit threads are crazy. I would NOT go there for advice ever. 

[Pavement]

11 hours ago, Knowledge Hoarder said:

For the next 15-20 years of my life (at least), my answer to the question "Are you talking to other women/someone?" will always be "Fuck yeah I do!"

What if you get a girlfriend in that time or will you want an open relationship?

1 hour ago, Lyubov said:

Dating for 4 years and engaged for a year” wtf ? 

?  You think that’s not enough time? 

[John Paul]

4 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Don't frame it as "I do pickup". Girls will not understand this, it sounds creepy to them. Instead she should just sense that you are a highly social guy who goes out a lot, talks to everyone, and is in high demand socially. She should just sense that you are the kind of guy who has no problem getting laid or talking to new girls.

Do not try to explain the technical details of pickup to her. She will not underastand it nor does she care to.

If she asks why you go out so much, tell her you work on your social skills as part of your personal development as a man. I will sometimes just tell girls I approach that I used to be very introverted and work a lot on my social skills.

is "pickup" just fucking pretending to be extroverted and healed???

[Lyubov]

1 hour ago, Pavement said:

 

?  You think that’s not enough time? 

Too damn long. If you ain’t getting married after two years it’s time to move on!

[Pavement]

@Lyubov you think so?  I feel like most people don’t even move in together until after about 2 years.  
also getting married can be expensive and a lot of bureaucracy..   especially if you want a proper wedding you’re looking at 10k. 

Edited February 14, 2022 by Pavement

[Leo Gura]

2 hours ago, Aleister Crowleyy said:

@Leo Gura What does creepy mean and why does every girl see everything as creepy...?

Girls love to see things as creepy.

It's good to flip the script on them and call them creepy instead. She can't call you creepy if you call her creepy first 

[max duewel]

I told my girlfriend about this aspect of myself. She was very accepting and even interested in how it works, was not a problem for her and it deepened  our communication since I don't have to hide a big part of myself from her.

Edited February 14, 2022 by max duewel

[StarStruck]

40 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Girls love to see things as creepy.

It's good to flip the script on them and call them creepy instead. She can't call you creepy if you call her creepy first 

Not only that. Judging them in general does wonders. If the man doesn’t set the frame, she will do it, against your interests. 

Edited February 14, 2022 by StarStruck

[Lyubov]

7 hours ago, Pavement said:

@Lyubov you think so?  I feel like most people don’t even move in together until after about 2 years.  
also getting married can be expensive and a lot of bureaucracy..   especially if you want a proper wedding you’re looking at 10k. 

They move in quickly where I am, like in the first year. People drag their feet a ton in the west. It’s low key gross IMO. 

[hamedsf]

If I'd be the one officially, why not and being a pickup artist is not creepy at all. it's a skill. 

[Nahm]

@Pavement

Try out simple truth, honesty. Actual presence. 

[roopepa]

20 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

It's good to flip the script on them and call them creepy instead. She can't call you creepy if you call her creepy first 

There is no word for "creepy" in finnish. The closest translation would be "scary" or "horrifying".

"You're so scary!" That'll sure get a lad laid.

[Leilani]

@Knowledge Hoarder oh yes just gas light her thats perfect!