Wasn't Feeling It On A Date

[YaNanNallari]

I had a date today and I wrote some issues with it mostly to clear my thoughts, but if you feel like reading a possibly boring post go ahead.

So I'm 18 m and quite inexperienced in dating and sexual relationships. Socially I'm not that active on my free time but I have good social skills. (just fyi)

I had a date after a stressful school day (ended with a listening comprehension in which you really have to focus) and I was unable to get myself to enjoy the intimacy I had with her unlike in the previous times I had seen her. I was just stuck in a slightly stressful state in which I can focus and do stuff very efficiently and feel very independant, but in which I have no sense of humor and I get annoyed/confused easily. I had met this girl on a couple hangouts before. She had wanted to take it slow by her own words. Today we kissed after a lot of buildup, since we had seen each other a couple times already and it was at the end of the date. She really liked it, but to me it kind of felt like nothing to my surprise. Like I said I hadn't enjoyed the intimacy today, even though I was aware of this at that moment and I had some feelings with her before. This was most likely due to that stressful state. I'd however really want to sort of make the best of our time together, cause I'm not up to spending hours on hours a week with her, so would you have any tips or experiences in overcoming this feeling and relaxing or opening up easier? I know the feeling has been common for me in the past, but not so much lately. It doesn't feel like I've held this feeling back either though. I also know that just letting the feeling be might be the best thing to do. Would appreciate any thoughts if you have any.

[SFRL]

@YaNanNallari man you are fine. 

She enjoyed it, and she even made out with you. So you are moving right along. 

Usually you have feelings for this girl right? So one off night because you had your business to handle doesn't change a thing. And like I said she enjoyed it so you are good. 

You will always have these moments and days. Man you can even have weeks, months or years like that. 

Do you think that if you let's says marry this girl and you stay with her till death do you part. Do you think that you will never have a moment where you are not feeling it? Of course you will. But it's about the bigger picture man. 

[YaNanNallari]

I think I figured it out now. I have been holding on to perfectionism which gave me an excuse and kept me stuck.

[ajasatya]

@YaNanNallari if you can't enjoy your life in general, it's hard to enjoy anything in particular. it has nothing to do with her. you're experiencing lack of self love. appreciation feels impossible in that state.

[Shin]

You can't experience love if you don't love yourself (that's different than being narcissist).

Love stems from your authentic self, and your authentic self can only be found inside of you.

 

Everything that is external to you, can't and won't bring you lasting happiness,

Until you find peace within.

 

Edited January 14, 2017 by Shin