A friend figured out that i have a Youtube channel

[kras]

I've been doing youtube videos for around 2 years.

Usually i am covering topics that i am interested in presented in whiteboard animation. Youtube is some sort of a place where i express ideas which i am interested in and also a place where i could be creative.

I don't have lots of followers and until yesterday nobody knew that i had a channel. Even my brother. I wanted to grow it and eventually share it with close people if i want.

Yesterday i saw that one friend of mine subscribed for my channel, and even though i don't show my face i am sure that he figured out that this is me because he knows my voice very well and my name of the youtube  channel include my first name. I dont know why but i got very uncomfortable feeling and a liitle bit of shame. I dont know why, it felt as though my secret place where i share thoughts and ideas is exposed and i no longer can get there and be creative and express my ideas because now a person that knows me will watch my videos and will be judgemental. 

I am afraid because i think that from know on i will be reserved and not able to freely express my ideas because of somebody that knows me will watch me.

What do you think?

 

[Max_V]

that's totally relatable and understandable. I had that once when someone close to me read something I wrote from a private journal. But those feelings signify something. It signifies that you are not the 'real' you when you are around that friend. Therefore, I'd advice looking into that a bit. Being able to be your true self around the people close to you is important. And if they really like you for you, they will be happier as well. 

[Preety_India]

You can create an alternate YouTube channel and transfer your original content. 

 

[kras]

13 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

You can create an alternate YouTube channel and transfer your original content. 

 

Yes, that is an option. But what if that happens again after two years.. And also i put so much effort in that..

Edited February 11, 2022 by kras

[Preety_India]

3 minutes ago, kras said:

Yes, that is an option. But what if that happens again after two years..

This is a projection. 

 

[Michal__]

11 minutes ago, kras said:

Yes, that is an option. But what if that happens again after two years.. And also i put so much effort in that..

Don't do that. If he knows about your channel he won't respect you more because you stop uploading. Just own it. If he doesn't like it and you consider your content good then that's his problem.

Imagine how weird it would seem if you found your friends channel and he suddenly stopped uploading after you subscribed... Wouldn't you lose a bit of respect for that person?

If you plan on becoming more serious about YouTube you should expect everyone to find out sooner or later.

[kras]

18 minutes ago, Michal__ said:

Don't do that. If he knows about your channel he won't respect you more because you stop uploading. Just own it. If he doesn't like it and you consider your content good then that's his problem.

Imagine how weird it would seem if you found your friends channel and he suddenly stopped uploading after you subscribed... Wouldn't you lose a bit of respect for that person?

If you plan on becoming more serious about YouTube you should expect everyone to find out sooner or later.

Actually i dont care wheter he respect me or likes my content or not, he is not close friend. I just feel a little bit uncomrftable because somebody that knows me will watch my content. And yes, i want Youtube to be something like a long run project for me. I i agree with you. Soon or later if my channel get more popular people will find it either way. Thank you for your comment.

Edited February 11, 2022 by kras

[flowboy]

3 hours ago, kras said:

I've been doing youtube videos for around 2 years.

Usually i am covering topics that i am interested in presented in whiteboard animation. Youtube is some sort of a place where i express ideas which i am interested in and also a place where i could be creative.

I don't have lots of followers and until yesterday nobody knew that i had a channel. Even my brother. I wanted to grow it and eventually share it with close people if i want.

Yesterday i saw that one friend of mine subscribed for my channel, and even though i don't show my face i am sure that he figured out that this is me because he knows my voice very well and my name of the youtube  channel include my first name. I dont know why but i got very uncomfortable feeling and a liitle bit of shame. I dont know why, it felt as though my secret place where i share thoughts and ideas is exposed and i no longer can get there and be creative and express my ideas because now a person that knows me will watch my videos and will be judgemental. 

I am afraid because i think that from know on i will be reserved and not able to freely express my ideas because of somebody that knows me will watch me.

What do you think?

 

I think being fully seen is what we most deeply desire, as humans.

Every tiny step towards it can be hugely uncomfortable, but you won't regret it.

Have a conversation with your friend.

Hear what he/she liked about it.

Underneath the shameful feelings, I guarantee that you'll find joy.

 

[Philipp]

you are probably still rather young. The younger you are usually the more shy we are and are fearful of showing what we actually want, do, think.

If you overcome your shyness and  fear of judgement from your friends, you will develop a super power only few people have and that is to be truly authentic outwards. This will bring you the most joy, the most passionate career, the deepest friend, the healthiest relationships and will make you feel proud and confident. So do it! Most of your friends will probably be impressed by your videos and those who start judging just start cutting them out of your life. Sounds hard, but those aren't the type of friends you want. But most friends will be impressed and happy for you, trust this!

It will naturally get easier the older you get, since also your friends will start being more authentic and in general you will also start surrounding yourself more with people that actually like your authentic you. 

But I would not waste any time. Since this is a super power, you need it, as soon as possible!

Edited February 11, 2022 by Philipp

[Preety_India]

@kras don't think too much about your channel. Let it evolve naturally. 

[Yarco]

I feel the same way... I hate family/friends reading or watching stuff I make. You just gotta get over it.

If you hope to ever have a large Youtube channel, people are eventually going to find your stuff. So these 2 ideas are incompatible. 

I say just rip the bandaid off. Post your Youtube channel to your Facebook and other social media and let everyone know. Let yourself cringe for a couple days and it'll pass. Most likely nobody will ever even talk about it to you in person, you'll probably get a couple likes and that's it.

And if someone wants to make fun of you or say your Youtube channel is crap, maybe you don't need people like that in your life and it's a good opportunity to filter them out. What have they done that's so great?

[kras]

Hey guys, thank you for your comments! That helps alot. 

I am just becoming aware of how much i care about what other people think about me and i definetly have to work on that.

Further comments are much appreciatet.

[Osaid]

I had a similar thing happen once, you just gotta own it. I think this type of hurdle is something that will continuously pop up in life until you fully embrace yourself and your personality, without feeling shame or whatever.

Also, in a way, it can weed out people you don't want in your life. What's the worst that can happen? If there is some adverse reaction from them, then so be it. Think of it as the universe's way of filtering out what doesn't fit into your life.

Don't take it so seriously, everyone has their demons, their private things they keep secret, they just do a better job of hiding it.

[Nahm]

10 hours ago, kras said:

What do you think?

Whatever we answer, you still won’t know. 

[aurum]

@kras do you plan on growing your subscribers and making your work public?

If so, that shame of the people closest to you seeing your content is something you’ll have to work through.

If you just want to keep it private, that’s fine as well. But I wouldn’t try to grow your channel and hide it as well. That’s sending mixed signals to the universe. It shows your whole being is not in alignment with this decision, hence the shame coming to the surface.

[Roy]

The way through this is to completely own it and not care what your friend may or may not think.

[Salvijus]

I think your social self image that you had created is going through some change now and it will hurt a little bit which is natural. Like having a new haircut and meeting your friends feels awkward for a few days and then things get to normal.

I would say just meditate on that feeling of psychological pain and discomfort by putting your awareness on the feeling and holding it. This would resolve much of that conflict imo. Or just wait, your self-image will adjust automatically if you give it enough time and space.

In short, just own it.

Edited February 12, 2022 by Salvijus

[supremeyingyang]

19 hours ago, kras said:

I am afraid because i think that from know on i will be reserved and not able to freely express my ideas because of somebody that knows me will watch me.

What do you think?

Understandable reaction from your side, but that will only stunt your growth and you will be resentful if you run from it now.

If you only want to talk into privacy, do another channel every time someone comes in you know. If you want to grow a channel... you gotta life with it.

Thats THE opportunity to learn how to make Videos EVEN if a friend watches.

Edited February 12, 2022 by supremeyingyang

[kras]

Thank you for the comments, i wont abandon the channel!

[INFP RACOON BABY]

I think this will actually be a blessing in disguise for you as it will help you grow and maybe you will feel outside your comfort zone at first but maybe this is gods way of pushing you outside that comfort zone.