Danioover9000

I had 5 cold approaches done. Terrible.

8 posts in this topic

   Done 2 in lunch time, and 3 in the afternoon. The last 2 was on the open street, and the first 1 was with her friends.

   Girl #1, I did basic approach, greeted and asked how are you while giving her my hand. Felt nervous but flipped that to excitement,  and did mostly what I mentally rehearsed in my mind. She says fine, and my subconscious picks up she's not, from her face and body. Small talked about stuff in context, did a bunch of observation statements, escalated one moment by leaning in, giving a quick look down to her chest while in convo. Didn't get the signal I wanted, and smoothly ended the small talk with no number. Not that the number counted, I had the feeling the girl isn't right for me.

   Girl # 2, same as girl #1, except when I began with observation first and god hand, she gave me a nasty look when I gave her a compliment. I did observation statement from that,  and flipped it around to her in a funny way, in a question back like "Oh, maybe you don't like being cute? Do you prefer being called minty instead? I think it suits you better...and I like the plant way more ". That eased her off a bit, and the convo started and it turned wierd when I storied about myself with humour. When she asked me what I do, I told her I did gardening and cooking, and loved plants, and she reminded me of the mint, she asked why, and I mentioned it really prefered the stir fry instead of the oven. Somehow she was responding pretty well with that, and I managed to get her number,  but I decided to delete it and move on, don't like it.

   Girl #3 and #4, they were together. Yes, I managed to get both their numbers, because at this time I decided to go crazy with the non verbals and verbals, observation statements and atory telling to the ninth degree. However, 80% of that were lies, but I was surprised that I was successful in getting a stronger reaction from girl #4.

   Girl # 5 I decided to be a little bit creepy and depressed a bit, to play the doomer game. I actually managed to pull this off too. No number, but I got a lot of sympathy from the girl, because i was careful in how I told her a story, with lots of ups and downs emotionally.

   That's that. Only questions I have are where do you think I could and could've improved on my approaches? They were technically day games but the last two were at night.

   

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Sounds like you're having fun with it, keep it up. Just don't forget to read more.

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Trying doing an approach where you are non-gamey as possible. See how that works.


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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Broken man game works like wonders, man, it's so cool (though a bit pathetic I'd you overuse it :P) 

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Sincerely, I'd recommend that after every interaction you come up with one thing about the interaction that you did well. As a bonus, you can come up with one thing that was funny from the interaction.


Be-Do-Have

There is no failure, only feedback

Do what works

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5 hours ago, Danioover9000 said:

escalated one moment by leaning in, giving a quick look down to her chest while in convo

(face palm)
 

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Great work man. Just testing the waters and experimenting with whats the most fun and what suites you is the best thing you can do. You're already 90% further than most guys who cant get the courage to speak to any girl

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17 hours ago, Danioover9000 said:

where do you think I could and could've improved on my approaches?

I think you are doing fine and should just keep going.

It's really not about the technicalities at this level.

Your detailed analysis and decision making regarding your story telling style, presentation style (funny vs gloomy), is a giveaway that you are quite in your head still. Being in your head will yield mediocre results, because people can feel that you're not quite being yourself, you're not quite grounded. And if you're not quite grounded, it creates a slight discomfort. You are disconnected from yourself and so others feel a disconnect with you. You can overcompensate for this by being very funny or stimulating, but as you become more grounded in yourself, you can drop the act more and more and generate attraction just with natural conversation.

Analysis is for afterwards. During interaction, all thinking should be dropped.

Where you could improve: practice feeling into how much you are in your head versus how much you are in your body.

Then practice projecting your inner state outwards.

The more people can feel you, the more attraction you will generate.

Edited by flowboy

Learn to resolve trauma. Together.

Testimonials thread: www.actualized.org/forum/topic/82672-experience-collection-childhood-aware-life-purpose-coaching/

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