How To Stop Masturbating

[carlos flores]

So I got a big problem. I masturbate every day and it's really starting to affect me. I feel tired and I feel like I don't get stuff done because of it. I'm about to start my second semester in college and I want to be as focused as possible. I did extremely well last semester, but I could have done better if I didn't masturbate. I also feel like it's keeping me from doing some cool ideas that I have in music and business. I really need some help. Any advice that anyone could give me would be really helpful. thanks in advance!

[Arman]

Hi Carlos. You may find some relevant information in this similar thread:

 

[ULFBERHT]

@carlos flores how many times a day are you whacking it? This question has a point. I'm not just asking for jokes. I'll do that later in the thread ; )

 

[carlos flores]

@ULFBERHT at least once a day. some days twice

[ULFBERHT]

@carlos flores It may help you to know that there is no accepted lower or upper limit of masturbatory frequency that has been shown to regularly harm human psychological and social health. A few points:

1. You need to be your own judge and determine for yourself if this is negatively effective you. I feel like the Reddit NoFap movement and things like it have caused a lot of undue anxiety surrounding completely normal sexual behavior like jerking off. If that's where you're getting this from, please reconsider your anxiety, because even once or twice a day is normal for a young male.

2.  What's your GPA? Are your grades suffering because of your preoccupation with porn/ jerking it? Are you avoiding normal human contact because you want to stay home and beat off? Are you not eating, not bathing, not sleeping because you watch porn and jerk off so much? If these are the case, you have a problem and you need professional help. If you're keeping the rest of your life in balance, you're probably okay.

3. In fact, some studies have shown that not masturbating has been associated with higher instances of prostate cancer in men. Also, if you go long periods without sex or masturbation, your penis can start to retract into your body a little bit and make it appear smaller (not permanently, of course).

4. You feel tired and you don't get stuff done? What's your sleep schedule like? What's your nutrition like? Are you exercising? Are you in a routine? If you don't have structure and order in your life it can be very easy to while away the time fapping. It might not be the fapping that's bringing you down, but your life structure.

5. Beware that ignoring sexual impulse is quite difficult. If you decide this is what you need to do, I suggest a strong meditation habit.

6. You do know that both men and women have written songs about sex/ jerking off, right? It's okay to choke the chicken, bro. Use your judgment, but this might not be as big a deal as you're making it.

 

[heisenburger]

Hi, a big mistake people make is cutting masturbation completely. This is ridiculous there's no way it can be sustained for most people, a better thing is to use this strategy, which I've been using for three months now.

1: Never watch porn again, commit to never again in your life.

2: Pick a day eg Monday and set a rule you can masturbate on this day once every two weeks (or once every week if this is too hard).

Its not completely abstaining from masturbation but will still have the same benefits.

 

[YaNanNallari]

Possibly go watch Leo's "Awareness alone is curative"

[Actualized Disciple]

@carlos flores 

I Feel like the comments people are leaving above me are very good pieces of advice.  Ive been there, the nether rod has its needs, but you are in charge of your dude piston. In conjunction with "Awareness alone is Curative" I would also recommend "30 ways society fucks you in the ass", Leo talks about the chimpness that goes on in society including jerking off. You might also want to do some research and introspection towards addictions. I reckon that pounding the pickle is only a surface level problem, and you may be suffering from the problems associated with addiction in general and avoiding your real problems with a quick escape. As someone mentioned above, most (im convinced) young men jerk off a reasonable amount and do not feel like it disrupts their life. Pornography and masturbation can be a healthy thing, however, if you are mindful enough to see what you are really doing... You would probably not be interested in doing it as often as you seem to right now. There have been times in my life where i would masturbate frequently, mostly when i had nothing better to do. After some thought and albeit discipline, my dick beaters can catch a break for anywhere up to two weeks or longer depending on my sexual availability with women. Its a struggle though, I have deleted and re downloaded a collection of porn on at least 4 occasions. As with any addiction, "cureing" yourself is difficult, but possible. You can do it.

[mathieu]

It was hard to completely stop masturbating. It was natural and normal unless it affects you negatively. During high school and esp college days, I've also suffered PMO (Porn, Masturbation, Orgasm) addiction. The NoFap community has really helped me too, esp their resources and advice. From my experience of overcoming this addiction, here's my summary:

The PMO urges happen when:

• I am alone in the house
• I have an internet connection
• It was evening (usually happened at night). There's as if a natural force that attracts me to do those things. Be more mindful of the urges.
• Bored

How can I do better next time?

• Be at home when you have something important to do. Be busy at home.
• Add volume/sound/music to my room. Avoid being bored while alone.
• Feed your muse or else Go outside. Much better, talk to somebody. Do the Life Purpose. Make some art. etc

Conclusion:

• PMO happens generally when I start to feel bored. (This was a realization for me, I am not sure if this applies to others as well.)

I have studied, prayed, and did almost everything I know to overcome this bad habit during my college days. I even made a "PMO Chart", invented for myself, to track my progress over weeks and months. so that I am aware and can easily see my attempts and longest streaks I have achieved. See this picture.

[ajasatya]

@mathieu that is amazing.

[mathieu]

@ajasatya thank you

[alyra]

there is the idea that, if a person is as mindful as possible when they do an activity, every time, they will naturally cease to do it over time, if it is a problematic activity. 

 

and, there is also the idea that, addictive behavior can be found to be rooted in the avoidance of negative emotions, and that something which helps get past the bad habits is to practice by simply sitting and do nothing. 

 

I've found both of those ideas to be very helpful for me in greatly reducing or eliminating my unwanted habits, including masturbation. 

 

I would remind you that masturbation isn't necessarily an unwantable thing, for me for undisclosed reasons I want none of it, but other people find masturbating to be an effective tool of stress relief. but as you mentioned, you're in a habit of addiction with masturbation, so if only for the time being your pursuit in reducing or eliminating the habit will likely be very freeing for you. I wish you luck! and patience, hehe!

 

Edited January 16, 2017 by aryberry

[faith]

Keep on masturbating.

[Consept]

Watched this earlier and its quite relevant i think. Just to add though i would be careful not to use masturbation as a reason youre not achieving certain things, it sometimes easy to blame life on something youre perceiving as bad and if only you could stop this thing life would be perfect. This can get you in a routine of everything will be ok when .... So you sort out this thing and then things are the same so another thing comes along like being a vegetarian. Like someone said above just do it conciously if its not good for you it will eventually cease from happening -