How do you think dating/sex/love/relationships change at Stage Yellow and Turquoise?

[melodydanielluna]

So, I've only recently transcended Green and gone into Yellow.  (Yes, I still have my shadows and I am working on them, but I'm mainly Yellow.)  The last time I was in a relationship I was Green.  How do you think dating/sex/love/relationships change at Stage Yellow?  And then at Turquoise?

This is a really open-ended question but some things I wonder are:

- Is it normal/healthy/reasonable that, if I do partner with someone, I want them to be at Yellow or Turquoise?

- Where do Yellow/Turquoise folk meet one-another?

- What sorts of dates do they go on?  How does dating work for them?

- How does sex change and evolve at these higher stages?  (If it does at all)

- How do relationships evolve and change and these higher stages?

- And this last one is very specific:  Something I've noticed recently.  At my day job, the workplace culture is suited to people holding there cellphone in your face with a picture of a 'hot' guy loaded up, and she will ask me what I think of her recent Tinder match.  (No, I don't like my day job's culture, but I am working my ass off to get out of there.)  Anyway, I never know what to say.  I seem to not care about physical attraction like I used to.  I honestly can't know if he's hot, not without knowing his personality/spirit/etc.  I've always been a bit this way, but recently, more so.  It's as though I have no interest in a superficial relationship.  I'm wondering if other Yellow/Turquoise people can relate to this?

But this is an open-ended question.  All responses are appreciated.

Cheers!

[Barbara]

Second tier memes are not so much about content. The way I see it content can only take you so far and green is just great for that. So some of your questions have no possible answer because it will simply look different for everyone, as everyone is different, and different things make sense for different people. If you take something from my comment is that second tier relationships are custom made. Of course tho, I would say that everything is experienced at a very deep level, and a constant search for systemic pattern as foundation rise as a guide, to ultimately understand or better perceive how everything is intertwined. At least that’s my perception of it. 

Edited February 9, 2022 by Barbara

[SonataAllegro]

Consider that "dating" is an orange/green invention. At Blue, there's pre-arranged marriages and love affairs. At red, there's men conquering women and having multiple wives. At purple, there's pairings that were chosen by the spirits/ancestors. 

So at later stages of development, relationships can look radically different. Specifically, much less projection, romanticization, and neediness, and much more understanding of one another's differences. Mostly the changes occur within yourself. Even if the other person doesn't see it, you take responsibility and realize that the success of the relationship depends on your well being and you avoid idealizing the person (which earlier stages do incessantly, thinking that's love). You're conscious that the love you feel for them happens entirely within you, and therefore it doesn't go away if they decide to leave you.

Though you still play the "dating game", you're both conscious that it's a game and can be less serious about it.

Don't make the mistake of falling for a partner who appears to be higher up the spiral believing that makes them inherently better in relationships. They could be turquoise and treat you like shit. Or they could be red and be great for you. just be keenly aware of the assumptions you make about someone new, that's the essence of yellow.

[Ramu]

@melodydanielluna I don't mean this in a bad way but you really start to not give a crap.  If you're a man it's the woman that chooses the man...not the other way around.  Most women under 40 don't know what they want anyway.  The paradox is that you attract more women the less you care about attracting women!

[aurum]

6 hours ago, melodydanielluna said:

Is it normal/healthy/reasonable that, if I do partner with someone, I want them to be at Yellow or Turquoise?

It’s reasonable in the sense that people generally date people who are around their same stage of the spiral.

6 hours ago, melodydanielluna said:

Where do Yellow/Turquoise folk meet one-another?

- What sorts of dates do they go on?  How does dating work for them?

 

Hard to really say.

My guess is that if two people are truly yellow / turquoise, the universe will likely bring them to together in a rather unique and / or organic way. It probably won’t fit nicely into an obvious script, although nothing can be ruled out.

It be interesting to interview yellow / turquoise and see what the early stages were like for them.

6 hours ago, melodydanielluna said:

- How does sex change and evolve at these higher stages?  (If it does at all)

 

More about intimacy and using sex as a tool for merging with the divine than merely getting off.

More mystical things like energy orgasms also enter the arena, which would be dismissed by pure materialists.

6 hours ago, melodydanielluna said:

How do relationships evolve and change and these higher stages?

More honest communication and a willingness to work through your shadows together. More solution oriented, less accusational. More intimacy and Win/Win dynamics, less exploitation.

[Hello from Russia]

Before - you want a hot 10\10 girlfriend

After - you want a hot witch shamanic tantric psychonaut half-goddess half-elf chick

Edited February 10, 2022 by Hello from Russia

[somegirl]

@melodydanielluna I'm curious how do you know you transcended and moved to a stage yellow on Spiral Dynamics? 

And to answer some of the questions, it's hard to say where do these people meet each other. Because those people are rare. And everyone assumes they are at the higher stage when they are not. That's why being self critical is important in some cases. 

Those people are so rare that I don't even have a reference or example I can use to know how that even looks like, let alone where to find them. But I would guess that, like attracts like. If you're in a stage yellow rn, you would organically have friends who are at a higher stages and also eventually meet stage yellow partner. 

[Fandango]

If you are yellow and only want to date yellow or higher people you are fucked. There are almost no yellow people in the world.

Love every stage

At higher stages you don’t lower your expectation about how hot your partner should be, it is the other way around

 

[Breakingthewall]

easy, look leo, in the clubs hunting hot girls. the same as the purple stage, red, blue maybe not that they are very shy, orange of course, green maybe more in raves. from the stone age to the future civilization of cyborg demigods... all the same