Can you be happy without kids?

[Forza21]

I feel like i'm more purpose-life- seeker, than head of family. I like change my mind often, I always try new things, and I don't  want to be attached to one place, career etc. I feel like i'm not a good fit to become father. Can you be happy without big family? I am 30 btw.

[Barbara]

41 minutes ago, Forza21 said:

Can you be happy without big family?

Who, me? Aren’t we talking about you? ?

 

[Hello from Russia]

Of course not, dude. You're already 30, the biological clock is ticking, hey!!! 

Edited February 9, 2022 by Hello from Russia

[Ulax]

I'd imagine so. However, you'll probably be told by plenty of people irl that you do need one to be happy.

[Kksd74628]

@Forza21

Can you be happy without the thing that you would see as restriction for your happiness? Can you be happy without ever trying skydiving? Can you be happy without running marathon or 10 of those? You know what makes you happy and follow that, because people around you will always tell you to do this and that. If you don't have passion to be the best football player then there is no reason for you to start doing that and most likely you won't success in it, because lack of interest.

[Barbara]

@Judy2 I was making a joke. Ahah

I think OP should do whatever he feels like doing, regardless of what others do or think. There’s no happiness path, other than follow one’s heart, and that looks differently for everyone one, isn’t that so? 

[Loba]

Sure you can.  I don't plan on having kids, either - just not something I want to invest my time in and there are already so many people on the planet more qualified than I to raise a child.  I plan to breed chihuahua puppies instead in the future, that calls to me... 

Do things that call to you, if you don't feel that parenting in a good fit for your personality, then listen to it.  It isn't about you being happy when it comes to kids, it is about what makes them happy and you have to sacrifice a lot for them.  If that isn't you, don't stress it.  There are plenty of other people in the world having kids.  The world does not need more kids, and it doesn't need more parents who don't fully want them, either.  What it needs are people who are smart enough to follow what they feel is best for them.

And things can change, too.  You are a man, yes?  You have time.  Pick up a few books on raising children and see if it calls to you, that's what I did - and having kids did not make sense to me.  I am happy.    I have all the time in the world to do what I like to do, and don't have to answer to anyone and am responsible only for myself and my pets.  I am free, not enslaved by family obligations, and it feels great.  I love it.

[Matthew85]

@Forza21 This is a very individual thing. Of course you can be happy without children. Many people have children not out a genuine desire, but because of social conditioning. Honor what is authentic for you. 

[Nahm]

Happiness is unconditional. 

 

[Gesundheit2]

Everything beyond good health is a bonus.

If you apply just this one principle you will never be unhappy ever again.

[LastThursday]

As long as you've got the basics sorted out: food, water, shelter and some human contact. After that, happiness comes from inside of you not outside of you. But it can take a lot of work to realise that. Forget fatherhood if it's not for you, find happiness in other ways, the children you won't have will thank you.

[BipolarGrowth]

It has been scientifically proven that happiness can only occur within a nuclear family of overcompensatedly strong stage green values which oppose nuclear power as a solution to global warming thus making the probability of global warming increase while containing so much irony that the situation ironically become unironic and instead 
 

y. 

Edited February 10, 2022 by BipolarGrowth

[Danioover9000]

@BipolarGrowth

7 minutes ago, BipolarGrowth said:

It has been scientifically proven that happiness can only occur within a nuclear family of overcompensatedly strong stage green values which oppose nuclear power as a solution to global warming thus making the probability of global warming increase while containing so much irony that the situation ironically become unironic and instead 
 

y. 

*.

[JohnO]

I’m 68 and I had two girls.  I think the conventional thinking is that having kids is supposed to be the thing that will add fulfillment to your life.  And it certainly can - partners may come and go but you will always have that bond with your kids.   I love visiting mine now - all grown up…But some people have to deal with really serious problems with their kids, like physical or mental illness or drug addiction.  Such things may prevent you from achieving what you want out of life.  One thing I have learned though is that you may not really know or not whether you want them until they arrive.  No wonder they say:  ´Kids are a trip’

[Matt23]

15 hours ago, Hello from Russia said:

Of course not, dude. You're already 30, the biological clock is ticking, hey!!! 

C'mmmmmon!  Lol.  

None of that.  

...

You're Fiiiiinnnneee not being a father.  

Many people are.  

If it adds any weight to the argument, Daniel Schmachtenberger and his wife chose not to have kids.  If someone of that caliber of development, intelligence, wisdom, and care is choosing not to have kids, I'm sure he's happy and fine with it.  

 

Of course there may be personal differences.  

But... I wouldn't peg your happiness on being a father or not, as hard as it may be.  Thus, if you don't become a father, you're happy.  And if you do become a father, you'll probably be a happier and better father and raise happier and better children since your identity won't be forcing "trying to be a father", or fearing "not being a father"; both of which would probably lead to less positive and wise decisions and states of being in regards to your children.  Imo. 

[Matt23]

34 minutes ago, JohnO said:

you may not really know or not whether you want them until they arrive.

Great lesson for things in life in general; don't know till you try it. 

[Danioover9000]

@Forza21

16 hours ago, Forza21 said:

I feel like i'm more purpose-life- seeker, than head of family. I like change my mind often, I always try new things, and I don't  want to be attached to one place, career etc. I feel like i'm not a good fit to become father. Can you be happy without big family? I am 30 btw.

   It depends on your worldview, stage of development, morality, cognition, personality, srare of consciousness and life experiences so far in different domains of life. Considering all these factors, do you see, hear and feel that you could live with/without a family, big or small, being in the father role? Do you see, hear and feel you have the ideal partner for your future kids? Do you see, hear and feel that you could live without your ideal family?