Letting Go

[Guest]

When it comes to self actualization, you can often hear about such thing as "letting go". You should let go/be the world, the thoughts (especially during the "do nothing" meditation), the others, etc. In Buddhism, for example, they say if someone does not want your help, you have to let them go (meaning that you should not be mad at them and such) and be ready to give them the help when they need it. Leo always says that we have to let something go (feelings, thoughts, events and so on).

So my question is, how do you actually let go? How do you detach from everything, and just live your life? I understand that it should take some work in order to let EVREYTHING go, but what about smaller things, such as thoughts and feelings? 

The thing is, when I try to let something go, I just concentrate on that thing even more. So I'm kind of lost. 

[Guest]

@tropicana This will not happen fast, there is no magic trick to instantly let go. Just be mindful. Basically you want to reach that state in which you can say: "I don't need that thing or that person or that result in my life. I can live without it." You are not attached to it, you are detached. You simply are. Yo let go of everything. Don't NEED it, don't cling to it. If it goes, then it goes. If it's away, then it's okay. This is an attitude you will develop when you continue working on your self mastery and personal development, and also on your sub-cosncious mind. Eventually you will realize that you don't need to hold on to anything, then you will let go. Also meditation helps a lot

Also don't force yourself to let it go, and don't resist it. Or, as you said yourself, you will concentrate even harder on it. Just accept it but don't hold to it.

Edited February 11, 2016 by The Alchemist

[Guest]

3 minutes ago, The Alchemist said:

@tropicana This will not happen fast, there is no magic trick to instantly let go. Just be mindful. Basically you want to reach that state in which you can say: "I don't need that thing or that person or that result in my life. I can live without it." You are not attached to it, you are detached. You simply are. Yo let go of everything. Don't NEED it, don't cling to it. If it goes, then it goes. If it's away, then it's okay. This is an attitude you will develop when you continue working on your self mastery and personal development, and also on your sub-cosncious mind. Eventually you will realize that you don't need to hold on to anything, then you will let go. Also meditation helps a lot

Exactly, meditation helps. But during meditation I have to let my thoughts go and I can't! 

[Guest]

1 minute ago, tropicana said:

Exactly, meditation helps. But during meditation I have to let my thoughts go and I can't! 

No, this is a trap. You don't have to let them go. The more you try the more you stick to them. Forget about letting go. Just sit there and concentrate on your breathing, or listen to some mediation sounds. Just stay mindfull and don't fall asleep

[Guest]

1 minute ago, The Alchemist said:

No, this is a trap. You don't have to let them go. The more you try the more you stick to them. Forget about letting go. Just sit there and concentrate on your breathing, or listen to some mediation sounds. Just stay mindfull and don't fall asleep

What about the do nothing meditation? 

[abrakamowse]

I think that it depends of the meaning we give to the word "let go". I think what Leo was trying to say is don't pay attention to them.

Just be the observer, understand there's a thought, that is not you and don't react. That's what I am trying to do.

:-P

[Guest]

Just now, tropicana said:

What about the do nothing meditation? 

During the do nothing technique which Leo explained, you just sit there and let your mind wander whereever it wants to go. You don't do anything about it. Let your mind do what it wants, this is why it's called do nothing. Are you doing nothing? No, you are trying to let go  Do nothing!

[Guest]

1 minute ago, abrakamowse said:

I think that it depends of the meaning we give to the word "let go". I think what Leo was trying to say is don't pay attention to them.

Just be the observer, understand there's a thought, that is not you and don't react. That's what I am trying to do.

:-P

Okay that makes sense. Thanks! 

[Avi]

I'm going to try and break this down but know that I can't convey what "letting go" actually is because "you" have to experience it. 

So you want to let go. Notice the thoughts and emotions that enter your mind. What are they? Do they actually mean anything? Who is actually doing the thinking? Are you making them come up or is there something else that is causing your mind to bring up certain thoughts and emotions? There is a bit of introspection that is needed before you can start to let some things go. 

Now during meditation a lot of people will say they can't stop thinking and keep there mind clear. This is normal. Notice that you can't stop thinking and that thoughts keep coming to you. It's inevitable that a thought will come up so try your best to be as aware as possible. With practice you will see that your awareness will start to take over and say "that's just a thought", I can let it go and come back to being present. 

The real kicker is you are not you and the thoughts and emotions that you identify with as "you" is just a self-fabricated version of yourself that you made up in your mind. This is the ultimate "letting go". Start with introspection and awareness as first steps, they are the tools of letting go.    

[Guest]

2 minutes ago, The Alchemist said:

During the do nothing technique which Leo explained, you just sit there and let your mind wander whereever it wants to go. You don't do anything about it. Let your mind do what it wants, this is why it's called do nothing. Are you doing nothing? No, you are trying to let go  Do nothing!

Okay thanks, this was such a trap for me! 

[abrakamowse]

@tropicana  your welcome. With practice you will become more detached. It's beginning to happen to me.

When I have a thought or a feeling of anger, whatever I just pay attention to it but I know it's not me, so I don't do anything. 

You will feel more in peace and control (even if control is really an illusion) but you will feel that you can react differently, more mature to call it some way.  And you will feel more calm, you will be controlling your thoughts and emotions instead of them controlling you.

:-)

Edited February 11, 2016 by abrakamowse
grammar

[Guest]

3 minutes ago, Avi said:

I'm going to try and break this down but know that I can't convey what "letting go" actually is because "you" have to experience it. 

So you want to let go. Notice the thoughts and emotions that enter your mind. What are they? Do they actually mean anything? Who is actually doing the thinking? Are you making them come up or is there something else that is causing your mind to bring up certain thoughts and emotions? There is a bit of introspection that is needed before you can start to let some things go. 

Now during meditation a lot of people will say they can't stop thinking and keep there mind clear. This is normal. Notice that you can't stop thinking and that thoughts keep coming to you. It's inevitable that a thought will come up so try your best to be as aware as possible. With practice you will see that your awareness will start to take over and say "that's just a thought", I can let it go and come back to being present. 

The real kicker is you are not you and the thoughts and emotions that you identify with as "you" is just a self-fabricated version of yourself that you made up in your mind. This is the ultimate "letting go". Start with introspection and awareness as first steps, they are the tools of letting go.    

Thanks a lot, this is very helpful!

[HollyV]

I've heard it a "million" times, but the last time I read it somewhere, it sort of clicked - Create new things in your life and the old (not wanted) things will slip off.  Sort of like, you'll make room for something else, and there's no room left for what's not needed.  

This also reminds me of a book I read along time ago.  I believe it was "Change your mind, Change your life" - something like that.  It spoke of "letting go" equaling freedom.  It was definitely talking about people.  If you're not "worrying" about others, you only have to "worry" about yourself, which does sound easier!  

 

[Guest]

@HollyV @Losha Sutur thank you guys!

[Hengame]

@Avi thank Avi, your advise helps me too, you are really right.

[abrakamowse]

I think @Avi explanation should be framed and hanged in a place where everyone can see it, and read every day first thing in the morning.

Edited February 11, 2016 by abrakamowse

[Avi]

@abrakamowse Thanks! Haha

[Anicko]

I find that looking at the same thing from multiple angles really helps in the letting go process. Look for the reasons why whatever happened was a big ol lie. Really forgive (not easy to do, but necessary for your own healing). Some things you have to rehash over and over before you finally let it go. That's okay, the more you do it, the easier it gets. And the freedom payoff is incredible; no matter how awful whatever happened *was*, you can be free of it. 

[Stef]

Quote

Saturn comes back around. Lifts you up like a child
Or drags you down like a stone to
Consume you till you choose to let this go.
Choose to let this go.

Give away the stone. Let the oceans take and
Transmutate this cold and fated anchor.
Give away the stone. Let the waters kiss and
Transmutate these leaden grudges into gold.
Let go.

Tool - The Grudge