Am I a narcissist?

[Mada_]

I have a very difficult relationship with my brother. 

He is older than me, perhaps this attributes to his tendency to give unsolicited advice, fairly constantly to me. I find myself being extremely frustrated with him when he does this, as he assumes he knows better than me, when I really don't think he does.

He strikes me as a very entitled person, he is fairly successful for his age, making a career in the fine art industry work well for him. But he is very comfortable with financial support from my parents, the government etc. It's as though he feels he is entitled to it. 

He came into the kitchen whilst I was cooking for my work day the next day, and decided he would voice his concern about my cooking keeping him awake. I was admittedly blunt and cold in my response to him, but he was quite clearly trying to get me to apologise to him or stop cooking. Man's gotta eat. He just stood there yelling at me trying to get a response from me, so I just resorted to 'I don't care, go away'. 

This is a recurring theme in our relationship. He tries to get me to change a behavior I think is justified, he pokes and prods, I tell him I'm not interested, he remains upset.  

 

The reason I think I may be a narcissist is because I think my life would be way better if he wasn't involved. I don't think I'd be bothered if he never spoke to me again. 

[Wilhelm44]

You not one. If you were, you would not even care to ask this question.

[Michal__]

From what you wrote it seems that he is the narcissist. Can´t know for sure from the limited information provided.

Only thing I would add - do not just disregard all his advice, be open minded even if a lot of it is bullshit.

[Ya know]

What time were you cooking? if it was an unreasonable hour it might be justified.

However, most likely you are co dependent and believe you are a narcissist. 

[Loba]

No.  That's not narcissism, on both sides.

[Roy]

From what I understand about narcissism, is that a legitimate narcissist wouldn't even entertain the idea to reflect that they are one. If they did, it would be a fleeting thought at most.  

[Nahm]

You’re definitely not a narcissist. Overemphasized focus on thought, suppression of perception & feeling, and thus experience reduced to dualistically conceptualized interpretation is most common, the norm actually. 

Meditation changes focus such that there is more pronounced feeling and more recognition of perception. The believing of one’s own justifications falls away, seen as activity of thought. Illusory. Literally actually disappears.

Impulsive reaction & suppression is then felt more, as if sensitivity increases. One stops stepping in the same hole, and heals, understands the emotions / no longer justifies the so called unconscious, and begins considering consciously creating. 

The relationship’s not difficult really, it’s perfect. The communion isn’t yet underway. Projection also falls away, as the illusion of thought activity. Seeing through one’s own justifications & rationalizations, ‘unsolicited advice’ magically becomes the invaluable priceless feedback of the universe. It’s unseen due to it’s infinite abundance, or, that it is whole & all encompassing (not people). 

For what it’s worth, you can not think yourself. None of the thoughts are accurate about you. Very loosely speaking, you might say what is not expressed emotionally, arises as a narrative / justification as thought, and is believed to logically reason & explain how one feels. All illusory. The grand finale if you will of this meditation, expressing, healing & understanding, is cessation. And indicative of the nature of illusion, you never happened. ‘You’ & the universe are inverted. Nothing changes, and nothing is the same, and there’s certainly no longer apathy. 

I wouldn’t disagree if anyone said life is definitely way better, but it has nothing to do with he or anyone else being involved or not, as that’s that dualistic lens. Just that communion matters. 

[EternalForest]

Sounds like a communication issue more than anything. Have you guys ever sat down and planned out when you cook and when he sleeps? Maybe if you're on different sleep schedules, cook some stuff during the day and heat it up in the microwave at night?

Edited February 10, 2022 by EternalForest

[Preety_India]

Well that's not narcissism on both sides. You can rest easy. 

 

[Gregory1]

On 8.2.2022 at 1:53 PM, Mada_ said:

I have a very difficult relationship with my brother. 

He is older than me, perhaps this attributes to his tendency to give unsolicited advice, fairly constantly to me. I find myself being extremely frustrated with him when he does this, as he assumes he knows better than me, when I really don't think he does.

He strikes me as a very entitled person, he is fairly successful for his age, making a career in the fine art industry work well for him. But he is very comfortable with financial support from my parents, the government etc. It's as though he feels he is entitled to it. 

He came into the kitchen whilst I was cooking for my work day the next day, and decided he would voice his concern about my cooking keeping him awake. I was admittedly blunt and cold in my response to him, but he was quite clearly trying to get me to apologise to him or stop cooking. Man's gotta eat. He just stood there yelling at me trying to get a response from me, so I just resorted to 'I don't care, go away'. 

This is a recurring theme in our relationship. He tries to get me to change a behavior I think is justified, he pokes and prods, I tell him I'm not interested, he remains upset.  

 

The reason I think I may be a narcissist is because I think my life would be way better if he wasn't involved. I don't think I'd be bothered if he never spoke to me again. 

Tell him to get the f*** out of your kitchen. If he wants his own kitchen, he should get out of mommys basement and rent is own place...

 

Edited February 17, 2022 by Gregory1