how to stop getting nervous in conversation?

[Jacob Morres]

For example: the other day a girl was telling me a close experience to her and i had no what to say and started getting really sweaty and anxious, say some sort of weird things and basically killed the vibe with my weird vibe. basically this happens whenever someone opens up, or says something i disagree with. i just have no idea how to respond sometimes

this is the 2nd time i did this and the girl just leaves Lmao.  I would really like to stop and be able to have normal healthy conversation without turning into a complete degenerate LMAO 

someone help pl 

Edited February 8, 2022 by Jacob Morres

[Matthew85]

@Jacob Morres Jacob, the only way to get better at communication is by doing it. Start talking with more people. Look for opportunities wherever you are. Find some seniors to talk with. There are a lot of lonely seniors who would love someone to talk with. You will be less nervous then you would be with a girl your own age and it will help you develop your communication skills. Get off your electronic devices and interact more with people in the real world. 

[Gili Trawangan]

Just listen. As people tell you their stories, put yourself in their shoes. How would that make you feel? What would it be like to think like them? 

Then, when you respond, it will come from an understanding place. It's not about you or your responses, at that moment it's all about them. Sometimes the only thing to say is "I understand how you feel" or "I can only imagine". Or maybe something from your own life that fits their situation.

Just change the lens from "me and how I'm coming across and what I think" to "him/her and how it might be to be them".

[Lyubov]

It still happens to me a bit still. I’ve realized it’s about how you look at it. It’s not that big of a deal, trust me. People hardly notice and no one is really judging you. It’s not even getting that much in the way of you getting what you want. Just expose yourself to lots of experience and realize no one is judging you or cares. Imagine getting exactly what you want from socializing and at the same time still feeling a bit nervous. People tend to grow weary cause they had a few things that didn’t go their way. Don’t let that happen. Keep socializing and let go and go with the flow and you’ll start to realize what control you have and how you can lead it. 

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AUj6gN0o4wU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68X1sqr9Prg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IHnkV61nJ4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJKiFisdi5g

 

[NoSelfSelf]

By not trying to put a front to stop being nervous show you are nervous and say that every time someone opens up you get nervous  but go on i wanna hear anyway...it gets awkward because its dishonest and it becomes weird...

[Cathal]

@Jacob Morres Just be vunerable man, hiding that shit is going to keep this behaviour going on repeat and you'll always have this lurking fear in your head about OH NO WHAT IF THEY SEEEEEE

expose yourself so you don't give a shit if someone exposes you, that kills the shame like repellent

[Leo Gura]

Go out and socialize with humans in the real world.

Eventually you become good.

[somegirl]

@Jacob Morres just keep talking and interacting with people and you will become careless about whether you come off as awkward or not.

I am an introvert and I definitely had this problem, but I just put myself out of my comfort zone a lot more and now I don't care about how I come off as much as before. 

[flowboy]

@Jacob Morres It's necessary to develop awareness as to what exactly causes this reaction in that moment.

- What are you afraid of?

- What are the thoughts surrounding it?

- Is there a past situation this reminds you of? Perhaps this response was created there?

- What are the sensations in the body during this?

- What other emotions do you feel besides fear?

 

When it happens, it's best to be open about it, and talk about what you are feeling.

This will help you to understand it better, and also it helps you because it creates acceptance.

If you are open about something, most people will be accepting of it.

That means that now you can move on from it without having to hide it.

And they will be able to trust you again.

And you can stop sweating so much.

Try it, it will be therapeutic

Edited February 9, 2022 by flowboy