Past Toxic Friendship, Cut off or not?

[goldpower123]

I have a question about how to deal with a past toxic friendship (1.5 years ago last seen) and this relationship was abusive, more satanic, and the person took control of me, I had no confidence, full of toxic habits, it was abusive, lots of disagreements and negativity.

I have cut this person off and haven't seem him in a long time. Since then I have been on my own path, was doing very well, but based on what he knows about me (a previous trauma) my mind still fears him and holds grudges over this person and thinks that somehow he has power over me based on what he knows about me. It feels like almost a toxic soul tie.

Would by forcibly extracting, removing entirely, cutting all contact and traces with a person be a good decision? This is what I'm leaning towards. I feel like how dare I go back to someone who was toxic, abusive, devilish, its the lowest form of myself. I should stay true to my intents of removing this person. Especially on a spiritual metaphysical level. Would by doing this, eventually over years or decades, my ego would surrender, I would lose memories, and the trauma associated with this person would no longer have a grip on me.

Sounds totally obvious I should do this.. I'm open to the idea this somehow may not work, which is why I posted, what about going back to make amends or correct wrongs? I feel like that'd be a trap and could open the door right open again. At this point, I don't want nothing to do with this person, just nothing at all, not knowing anything about me. 

[Roy]

It sounds like you already know what is good for yourself and what to do, and you're just looking for affirmation. It's these kind of crucial moments in life where we should have the strength to follow our intuition and carry though with a decision to it's end.

Cutting them out completely (in every material way like you're describing) would basically be the final nail in the coffin for you to heal. That is if you've considered all the good/bad reasons it would be a wise move, which it seems you have.

Sometimes there is nothing worth correcting or any amends that need to be made, and it's best to just let go. After you take this final step you can truly move forward. It can feel sad and stir up other emotions, but it's the price you pay and eventually those feelings will fade and you'll have developed.

Good luck whatever you decide to do.

[Terell Kirby]

Take responsibility for allowing this person to take advantage of you. Making a bad guy out of them will do you no good.

Use this situation to deeply reflect on why you allow such behavior and unable set proper boundaries in relationships. Be brutally honest with yourself, this will grow you.

Basically, make it less about them and more about you.

[goldpower123]

I very much appreciate the advice from you guys

[happyhappy]

definitely , toxic relationships are nothing worth clinging to.

since u say that this guy has some power over ur previous trauma, try not to confront him .forcibly expunging or abrupt confrontation might refresh the emotional wounds in both of you... .trying to change or make things up can be even worse as most people don't like to change their ways. he would find a new way to manipulate u instead imho.

gradually forget this guy's existence and cut off his contacts  . show him love at an arms length. if u consider making things up and having a nice friendship back a gain, treat the wounds at a distance and don't let the infections spread to ya!

overtime, you will have cut this person entirely with a minimum effort. 

hope u make the best choice!

[goldpower123]

1 minute ago, happyhappy said:

definitely , toxic relationships are nothing worth clinging to.

since u say that this guy has some power over ur previous trauma, try not to confront him .forcibly expunging or abrupt confrontation might refresh the emotional wounds in both of you... .trying to change or make things up can be even worse as most people don't like to change their ways. he would find a new way to manipulate u instead imho.

gradually forget this guy's existence and cut off his contacts  . show him love at an arms length. if u consider making things up and having a nice friendship back a gain, treat the wounds at a distance and don't let the infections spread to ya!

overtime, you will have cut this person entirely with a minimum effort. 

hope u make the best choice!

That's pretty much the path I've decided to take, I agree with what u said, I'm taking logic and brute force on this one. My ego was trying so hard to get me to go back to my old self, I just kept fighting it off, resisting and resisting, I wasn't expecting how hard it actually would be, like a part of me is dying off. No matter how spiritual u are, don't underestimate the mind's power. It is a force to fucking reckon with

[Bando]

Cut off people that make you feel like shit lifes to short to be around people like that

[Loba]

If you don't get along with someone and you feel like it is a trauma bond and not an authentic connection based on mutual respect then I would cut it off and move on, there are a lot of people in the world.  You can make better friends.

 

[K Ghoul]

Definitely cut