My Ayahuasca Trip

[Baum]

i still am kinda tripping, but sobering up a bit and it's fucking crazy.

i was so deep down into darkness, my soul is inside an organic torture machine made of flesh, eyes and spikey bones.

this thing is totally foul and crazy... you don't ever want to be in it.

complete closed of by this thing, there was no hope, no light, no feelings besides devilish intent and a foul burning like being surrounded by toxic gas, i guess it's called miasma.

my soul has been under the effects of black magicians and i think the ayahuasca trip amplified it.

jesus christ... was that hard

 

Edited February 7, 2022 by Baum

[Baum]

but you know what everyone,

even if it abuses me and damages me, you still can love it and be in peace,

 

but irregardless, if anyone can or knows how i can free myself, i'd be much obliged

[Baum]

I don't know man, that was the lowest of worst of the worst.

so much insanity and maliciousness and abuse and backstabbery and torture directed at me at once, everywhere.

and it was enveloping me, like i am something precious to play with now, because of my pureness towards it.

i can't even say it was hell, it felt like something way lower than hell.

i was in so much agony

Edited February 7, 2022 by Baum

[Flim]

Sounds terrifying. Sometimes you have to be shown the worst of the worst to greatly appreciate the little things in life 

[Baum]

7 minutes ago, Flim said:

Sounds terrifying. Sometimes you have to be shown the worst of the worst to greatly appreciate the little things in life 

i am not sure if that was its intend.

there was so much hopelessness inside that thing, completely shut off from light, in the metaphorical sense.

i was still able to love it though towards the end, that helped.

[Flim]

@Baum If you had to go with your gut feeling, what do you think mother aya was trying to tell you?

[Baum]

@Flim  There was no spirit of mother aya in there, i was calling for it.

 

[Flim]

@Baum The whole experience is mother aya. I think you might have been too focused on waiting for her to appear in some form when she was showing you what you needed to see at the time

[Baum]

@Flim  i don't know dude, there was none after or before and there was also no one who pointed me towards something in the end, it just seemed like an overwhelming experience of agony.

but maybe it's just too early to judge now.

however i do not fear it anymore.

Edited February 7, 2022 by Baum

[Baum]

however i do not want to instill fear into anyone's future ayahuasca trip. i know it will be ok for most of people.

neither am i discouraged to try ayahuasca again in the future.

[Forza21]

Even the deepest and darkest roams of hell is still absolute love, and pure consciousness.  It's all what we are,  monsters and angels,  hell and heaven.  Maybe the whole point was, that distinguish between those two, to collapse?

Edited February 7, 2022 by Forza21

[PurpleTree]

did you cook and drink the stuff alone or did you go to a ceremony?

[Baum]

14 minutes ago, Forza21 said:

Even the deepest and darkest roams of hell is still absolute love, and pure consciousness.  It's all what we are,  monsters and angels,  hell and heaven.  Maybe the whole point was, that distinguish between those two, to collapse?

it's a valid proposition, maybe. i did not feel that intend though.

however that is easier to say than endure.

Edited February 7, 2022 by Baum

[Baum]

9 minutes ago, PurpleTree said:

did you cook and drink the stuff alone or did you go to a ceremony?

i made an aya banana smoothie with soy milk

[PurpleTree]

4 minutes ago, Baum said:

i made an aya banana smoothie with soy milk

did you change your diet beforehand?

i don't think it's a great idea to make an aya banana soy milk smoothie.

"Foods to Avoid Before Drinking Ayahuasca

If your current diet consists of sugary drinks and fast food, there will be a lot you will want to cut out. If you mainly stick to an eating regimen of plant-based, whole foods, then the dieta will be less of a change from your norm.

Essentially, the idea is to stick to clean, nutrient-dense, non-processed food and drinks as much as possible. Avoid red meat, pork, spicy foods, caffeine, alcohol, dairy, and excess sugar and salt for at least three days, but ideally up to two weeks, before the ceremony. It is also necessary to avoid foods or drinks that contain tyramine, which is found in aged cheeses, yeast, fermented foods (like sauerkraut, kombucha, soy sauce, or tofu), yogurt, some nutritional supplements, and excess amounts of chocolate and peanuts. In the few days before the ceremony, it is often also advised to avoid strong flavors like garlic and onion, excessive oil, and overripe fruits.

The reason it is important to avoid drinks and foods rich in tyramine is that the ayahuasca vine contains a monoamine oxidase inhibitor (MAOI). MAOIs prevent the breakdown of tyramine, which is an amino acid. This combination of foods and brew could create a challenge for the body to process, potentially increasing the chances of a nasty headache, increased blood pressure, or increased nausea

So, what can you eat?

Unfortunately, the blander, the better with the ayahuasca diet. A healthy diet before the ceremony consists of lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains (like rice, quinoa, and oats), and legumes (like beans, lentils, and peas). While cooking, be sparing with oil (olive or coconut are preferred), salt, spices, and sugar. And on the day of the ceremony itself, keep things light and plant-based, and drink only water or herbal tea. While you may not want to go into the ceremony with a completely empty stomach (as you will likely need that energy later in the night), avoid loading up on heavy animal products. Fruits, vegetables, and some easily digestible carbohydrates are good choices. It is also important to stop eating at least four hours before you are to drink the brew.

Substances to Stay Away From

As well as the foods outlined, it is important to refrain from taking any recreational drugs and some medications during the weeks prior to the ceremony. It is important to consult with your retreat leader beforehand to go over any possible prescription interactions.

Most retreat centers advise the discontinuation of selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) for at least six weeks before the experience. Combining SSRIs with ayahuasca can induce serotonin syndrome, with potentially fatal effects. Other MAO inhibiting medications (see full list below) should also be discontinued for at least six weeks." 

 

https://psychable.com/ayahuasca/the-ayahuasca-diet-what-is-it-and-why-do-it/

[Baum]

@PurpleTree  thanks for the info, but i am well aware of that, it was just fresh bananas and soy milk, which i think is low tyramine. i have been plant based for years as well.

Edited February 7, 2022 by Baum

[softlyblossoming]

15 minutes ago, Baum said:

i made an aya banana smoothie with soy milk

That's so sweet and wholesome. I'm so sorry about what happened to you, @Baum. Lot's of people with beautiful intentions end up on scary trips, you're not alone. I hope you're feeling much better now and someone helps you understand.

Edited February 7, 2022 by softlyblossoming

[CuriousityIsKey]

How it look ?

[Baum]

@softlyblossoming  thank you very much

@CuriousityIsKey  'm burnin'

[softlyblossoming]

48 minutes ago, Baum said:

@CuriousityIsKey  'm burnin'

@Baum after making aya banana smoothie

 

Edited February 7, 2022 by softlyblossoming