I'm confused: is pickup high or low consciousness?

[The_Searcher]

On 2/11/2022 at 2:50 PM, Leo Gura said:

I tried to pull a married chick, just to see how far I can get. She really fell for me. But even so, I was able to make out with her, but unable to pull her into her bathroom. We made 3ft from her bathroom. So it's not so easy.

@Leo Gura

I'm new here. Reading up stuff. Not gonna lie I have culture shock what I read about here. Took quite a bit of open-mindedness. But I can't understand why to do this sort of stuff as being highly conscious. Is this even satisfying to pick girls for sex? I feel like my moral compass would not allow that and I'm just empathizing to a guy who's being cheated. Or why would you do something that that woman probably regret doing. To me seems brutal. 

[Leo Gura]

23 minutes ago, The_Searcher said:

@Leo Gura

I'm new here. Reading up stuff. Not gonna lie I have culture shock what I read about here. Took quite a bit of open-mindedness. But I can't understand why to do this sort of stuff as being highly conscious. Is this even satisfying to pick girls for sex? I feel like my moral compass would not allow that and I'm just empathizing to a guy who's being cheated. Or why would you do something that that woman probably regret doing. To me seems brutal. 

Because rather than believing stuff, I test stuff. I was running an experiment.

Love is brutal sometimes.

[zazen]

A society that participates in pick up / casual sex with the end goal being a long term happy relationship creates the very society where a long term happy relationship isn't possible in. Dating multiple partners at a time or short term serial relationships, hook ups etc sets the pattern for that. Our drive for polyamory is stronger than monogamy as we'v been polygamous for a much longer part of our evolution. Our animal nature doesn't care for our long term happiness, our biology drives us to act on reproducing the strongest genes and surviving. Biology is brutal and raw, our psychology/consciousness is what attempts to refine biological urges into something more romantic. 

Polyamory worked in small bands of tribes and when we had a short life expectancy of 30. The tribe had higher trust with each other being of similar genetics / culture etc, the village would raise the children collectively, our emotional needs were met by the tribe, people would sleep with each other more casually usually the alphas being the chosen ones to be mated with the most (40% of males got to pass their genetics on). Now that our life expectancy has tripled, and through industrialisation/living in big cities where we no longer easily have tight knight communities or social circles to provide us with emotional security, the family unit / pair bonded partner is what gives us emotional security over the long term.  Reproduction is only front loaded and consists of a shorter part of our life span. The remaining decades are for companionship, pair bonding etc so this is what is vital to foster for long term happiness. Instilling monogamy and valuing deep committed relationships was important for the emotional stability of the individual and thus the society. 

Monogamy takes conscious effort and if the culture/society doesn't foster it, it is far too easy to dip into our polyamorous instinct/genetic drive. You get what you feed, and our current society is feeding our lower instinct, just as we have instincts for salt sugar fat, conserving energy by being lazy or doing the minimum to survive. These instincts served us in past times but now they hinder us and we have to use intelligence to over ride them for our betterment and that of society.  Traditions were there for a reason and there is some wisdom to tradition although tradition must adapt and change with the times, dismissing it as controlling and throwing out all tradition shouldn't be taken lightly. Maybe in the past they didn't have the science/knowledge we have now to confirm why such practices were in place. 

 

Our biology works the same with any addiction. Novelty gives us hits of dopamine, oxytocin bonds us to what we have. If we seek out new partners, we'r becoming addicting to seeking out dopamine, and frying our neural network to be able to bond and be happy with one person as our neuro chemicals are spread thin between many partners. The initial hit you get the first time with a substance or someone you have sex with is the strongest, bonding you to that source of the dopamine. You become desensitised every time you get a new hit of dopamine with a new source and become like an addict needing to seek it out more and more. Thats why even for men with high body counts who think their immune to this aren't, although for women due to their biology it probably takes a much smaller body count, we neuter our ability to be happy with what we have, and even if we do get into a relationship, our happiness level isn't what it could have been. We eventually get bored and seek out another hit of dopamine. Another affect is if a woman has had an alpha in the past, she will always feel like she settled when she doesn't lock that alpha for a relationship, and ends up with someone less alpha causing her to be unhappy in her future relationships. In a unregulated sexual market place, the women go for the top males, who then have little incentive to settle down (obviously some still do as they seek depth), the women hate those males for being assholes (not settling) and conflate that behaviour to all men (apex vision), they then treat men in general badly (the nicer men) the nicer men then start saying why should we treat women nicely if they treat us badly and become bitter them selves becoming bad boys in an attempt to emulate the alphas or checking out the dating game completely and the cycle goes on. 

 

I guess we could have a polyamorous society at scale, as long as emotional needs are met by community, there are high levels of trust even amongst people of different backgrounds, religions creeds and castes (which means higher consciousness), and so a community to raise the kids in well as people care enough about kids who aren't their own. 

Edited February 15, 2022 by zazen

[zazen]

For more clarification, I highly recommend this video on the topic of mono / poly and how society/culture influences both these genetic drives we have. 

 

Modern society stimulates our poly instinct, monogamy is a practiced choice we have to work on and create a society for or else long term relationships will fail and are failing. If you want a mono relationship you and your partner need to create your own world with boundaries in place, as the world around us doesn't foster deep relationships anymore with the advent of social media, big cities, no social stigma or consequences to cheating behaviours. 

 

 

Edited February 17, 2022 by zazen

[hamedsf]

look, if you did 100 hours of meditation and fucked 100 girls at the same time. I'd clap for ya. 

Edited February 17, 2022 by hamedsf