Overcoming feelings of defenceless

[Ulax]

Its become apparent to me that I was constantly, and regularly abused during my childhood, including by my parents.

My mother actually sided with my main bully over me, and would often compare me to him.

I realise now this is the route of my feeling of defencelessness. People could do whatever they wanted to me, and I wouldn't be protected.

Any advice on how I could deal with this?

(I know about drawing boundaries, but I want to learn about how to make identity level change such that I am inclined to draw these boundaries)

Thanks in advance.

[Kksd74628]

@Ulax

Thanks for asking that important question

Quote

Kksd74628: Also I hugely recommend everyone to build strong personality that shines in the dark evenings and melts hearts of beautiful souls <3

Things I would do include find thing that makes you truly happy, learn to express yourself through that thing, say what you think and don't let others stop you believing for yourself, because I know you can my lovely friend, find friends that love you as you are and tell them more about what you have experienced, because how could these beautiful souls help you wihtout you first being open to them.

Hope that I was helpful, my love <3

[hyruga]

You can read the book Psycho Cybernetics on how to change your self-image/identity. 

Edited February 6, 2022 by hyruga

[itachi uchiha]

https://www.reddit.com/r/The48LawsOfPower/comments/8ye7a6/gaining_and_maintaining_power_the_official/

the above is 185 books on power. u can read them and apply them and u will be powerful

if u have time then learn any of the following martial art

boxing, kickboxing, muaythai, judo.

my pick would be  learn boxing and judo and u will become a strong person and u can fight bullys and give them a tough fight.there is big difference between boxing and kick boxing. kick boxing is bad boxing with kicks. find a good boxing gym if u can. and after learning boxing then learn judo

 

practice sedona method and shadow work and u can heal from traumas. i have been practicing sedona method for 3 years now and now i can always calm myself from anxiety attacks.  i can easily deal with strong negetive emotions.if someone make me really angry , i will do sedona method and within a max of 1 week , i will heal from those negetive emotion and i will feel a neutral feeling to those bad event. i will not feel anything bad to those bad event

[JonasVE12]

16 hours ago, Ulax said:

Its become apparent to me that I was constantly, and regularly abused during my childhood, including by my parents.

My mother actually sided with my main bully over me, and would often compare me to him.

I realise now this is the route of my feeling of defencelessness. People could do whatever they wanted to me, and I wouldn't be protected.

Any advice on how I could deal with this?

(I know about drawing boundaries, but I want to learn about how to make identity level change such that I am inclined to draw these boundaries)

Thanks in advance.

Identity shift will happen naturally in the unfolding of the process. But you can not wait for it in order to change. Change happens now, where you take conscious control of your mind to do something different than you have done yesterday. Powerlessness is basically avoidance of tension in any form. Emotional or physical. Where are you avoiding in your life? Step into that tension. Go through it. The masculine domain grows through facing tension. It offers you challenge. You either turn your back to it or step into it. 

firemen, policeman, navy seals, business guys like Elon musk, Richard Branson, all of these examples are people who have walked paths where they felt resistance and challenge, but did not back down. They used those to get to where they are now by being proactive with their limitations.

Feel where you avoid tension in your life, step right into it and the next time it will be easier. You systematically release negative emotions to the level of tension you avoid, and simultaneously embody feelings of courage and acceptance in those contexts of tension. 

For example: You are afraid of physical confrontation. So you avoid people, places where likelihood of experiencing this type of tension is high. Solution: You gain the courage to join a martial arts gym, you train and eventually you will release your negative emotions related to physical confrontation. 
 

And you do this with all the things you avoid until you have no resistance to anything anymore. You become a free flowing being who is free to act in any way he wants. Full expressive and expansive. 

Core identity change happens after the process. In the unfolding of it. Then the desired behaviors, thoughts, feelings are a natural part of that changed identity that you build. Just like when you build a house, the relaxation and enjoyment of feeling at home comes after the hard work of building your house and not before.