The infinite wheat field and ego death game show

[RMQualtrough]

I tripped in a dream. Strange happening. A family member popped out of the wheat and argued with me so I decided to go my own way.

As I walked away on the wheat field, it became completely infinite such that no matter how far I travelled or where I went, I was always just crawling around on this neverending wheat field. I then broke down crying in joy as I realized there is only the wheat field and the wheat field ALONE.

I had some odd thoughts in the dream which I don't quite remember, but involved infinity necessarily being nothing, meaning I could never actually move away from the rooster even if it appeared I was. An example was the attempt to imagine looking at infinite transparency, and how to be perceived as something it must necessarily be limited by the mind adding a black or white backdrop. Something infinite is nothing and imperceptible so although I looked to be moving away from the rooster in actuality I was merely fixed in nothingness.

Later in the dream (maybe a different one after falling back asleep) I was on a game show where we had the chance to completely swap out our ego. It showed past events in my history (a fake character, not this me) and showed how the character mourns over those bad past events because it believes it had or is having them... After a very fucking weird bit where a hooker injected liquid in my dick that made me incontinent and shit myself for life (what the actual fuck), I yelled out that I don't want this life anymore, though I had 2 kids and some other stuff like being a successful businessman.

Instantly I was back in the game show place and my name tag rolled over and became a new name, everyone cheered, and I was this new person. I then realized the whole hooker bit was a simulation to test if I want to keep my current self or swap it to a new one. The new self still had the medical issues but it felt like "that's just how it's always been", and when shown past events of myself with the old ego crying, I did not feel emotional anymore because I did not identify that character or event as me. It was like watching a doppelganger being tortured instead. Interestingly, the moment I was back at the game show and my tag rolled over, I felt so much relief, and felt anxious about how bad it would have been if I had decided to keep my original ego and squander this chance to be born anew.

I'll probably fall back asleep now. But did not want to forget. Fucking weird man.

Edited February 5, 2022 by RMQualtrough