Life Purpose Advice Needed

[Bogdan]

A little bit of context:

I am a 26 yo musician from Romania. At 20 I dropped out of the music academy because i didn't want to do classical music, and i started making money playing bass and backing vocals in a cover band. 

The band fell apart, and so i put music completely on standby and I moved to another city in Romania, where i started lifting weights, watching Leo, meditating and doing psychedelics.

I went from being a mess, a scientific materialist, smoking cigarettes and wasting time all day, to being fit and having mystical experiences and awakenings. i studied Leo's work, bought the LP course, studied spirituality and fitness basically all day, every day.

All these years i didn't need to get a job, because my mom has a big enough retirement thing that i could afford to live with my friends and focus on awakening, studying fitness, training and experimenting with my body, as well as training friends, and more recently socializing & talking to girls.

Since the pandemic, i got into another band with some great musicians, but it also fell apart... (fucking musicians ). So i'm back to living with my mom again. And here i am at 26, broke, with some skills, but basically no "real" work experience.

 

So i'm at a point in my life where:

 

- i see everything as God/Love/ME!/infinity, and i wish to continue my exploration of 5-meo and psychedelics

- i want to help people with their health, to change the way people approach exercise/training and relate to their body, to chelate heavy metals and to basically prime their body and mind for psychedelic exploration

- i also have to admit that playing music is something that i selfishly enjoy doing very much, especially singing. And that it's something that i have always been sort of exceptional and praised in since i was little. I very often get the response "i would kill to have your talent and skill, and you're pissing it away"

- i want to move to a big city to talk to lots of girls and people in general, because i was extremely introverted and antisocial all my life, so this is a priority

 

Possible solutions that i've found:

 

1.MOVE NOW, STOP WASTING TIME

- have balls and move to Amsterdam NOW, working 2 jobs if i have to, anything just to move out from my mom's and from this country

- try to get hired as a Personal Trainer from the start

- i could play guitar and sing in clubs or on the street

- i could sleep in my car

 

and in the meantime,

 

- explore 5-meo

- send all my friends, family and acquaintances free, cutting edge flexibility & strength videos

- start a romanian AND/OR english youtube channel(s) about health & psychedelics, as well as instagram and all that (i was thinking romanian, because there are plenty of great channels in english, but none in romanian. But again, that's up for debate in my mind)

- start an online flexibility & strength coaching business

- obtain financial independence

- continue to grow and evolve my business and channels into something that will help society use psychedelics wisely

 

SHOULD I:

- stay in the country a little longer

- get a job delivering food and gather some money

- in the meantime train clients in a commercial gym 

- build the online flexibility & strength business

- and only then move to Amsterdam???

- or move already and just do it???

 

ALSO:

- where does music fit into all of this? does it fit at all??

 

The reason i wanted Amsterdam is because it's in the heart of Europe, 5-meo and all sorts of psychedelics are legal there, and there are a TON of tourists.

I wish to ask where am i limited in my thinking? Requisite Variety, am i right?  Maybe my life will move in a totally unexpected direction. 

But that's basically it. I hope i gave you enough relevant information and didn't include too many unnecessary details. I await your responses  

Edited February 4, 2022 by Bogdan

[puporing]

It's a pretty common thread with musicians. If that's where your passion lies, even if it doesn't make money right now or only a little bit here and there, I would continue to work on it somehow, maybe with more of a clear vision of how I may turn this into my primary gig down the road, outside of your jobs and whatnot. All depends on how much you want to pursue this.. if staying with mom for longer to make this happen in the next year/two, or that's too much uncertainty and you really want to be more independent then I would move out regardless of if music is making you money.

Another option is to do something that earns more money for your time for the next few years so you can then free up room/have the financial means to work on music.

Hope that helps.

Edited February 4, 2022 by puporing

[Bogdan]

@puporing Thank you for the reply

No matter what i do, i'm sure i want to move. 

Music as i said, is one of those things that everybody loses their minds about - "oh, you're a musician?!? That's SO cool! I WISH i could be a musician, you're so lucky!" 

Everyone is trying to make me feel guilty for considering doing something else. 

[puporing]

39 minutes ago, Bogdan said:

Everyone is trying to make me feel guilty for considering doing something else. 

You got to find what speaks to you, I've moved on from what I thought was my "LP" after exhausting it even though others thought it was 'cool' lol, and that's aok too if that feels right to you. 

 

[supremeyingyang]

@Bogdan

save money and then move as you seem to like it.

when you are unsure, it's best to experiment into several directions to make money:

- live music
- youtube
- side hustles

experiment a lot; these are difficult times and these bring always the opportunity for change

eh and if it does not work you can drive back to your mom;)

but if it does not work I would estimate it's better to get a certified education in something... makes life easier
 

[aurum]

@Bogdan

Yeah I can relate to this.

I’m also a musician but have this big passion for holistic health. Health and helping people to awaken is really more my LP, so I’m still unsure of how music fits into the picture. Could just be a hobby. Could be something more. Remains to be seen for me.

I can’t really tell your what you should do. I’d say just follow your excitement. If strength and conditioning and PT seems more your lane, go for it.

At the same time, keep an eye out for shiny object syndrome and lack of commitment. It can be tempting to get excited about all sorts of things and then not follow through. I’ve definitely been there.

[Bogdan]

@supremeyingyang @aurum Thanks guys, imma take some action and see where it goes 

[EugeneTheSage]

If you want to do music I'd recommend building a really strong skill.

Before starting some enterprise I ask myself: "Would you continue with this project if it would take 2 times more time, energy, money than your estimate?". If not I wouldn't start it

[flowboy]

If you feel the pull to move to Amsterdam, hell, do it.

Moving countries is a great way to clear out old stuff and kickstart a new phase.

However, Amsterdam is expensive. Prepare to pay 800 euros a month for living together with 2 other people or upwards of 1200 a month to have your own tiny studio apartment. And riding the tram for an hour back and forth each day to get to anywhere.

Your expenses in Amsterdam will probably be upwards of 1600-2000 euros a month, even if you're not doing that much fun stuff. So perhaps it's good to try and get a good gig there before you move. Then again, if you're good at improvising and making stuff happen, don't let me limit you.

 

 

[Human Mint]

Can you put aside 5-Meo for a little while? until you get this managed at the very least.

In regards to music, i personaly know musicians who make their living playing in bands. Not in just one (and thus taking the risk of falling apart and being left with none) but in like, at least, five. It can be a band of covers, different genres, own music, doesn't matter, you are in the ambient of music. What they do is they rehearsal for 9 months and then they go on tour in the tourist season, playing 5 times a week in those 3 months, and making money for the whole year. Simple.

You have experiences in bands, but are you willing to take it to the next level?

You can do that AND give like training workshops.

Not to mention that in a tour you'll be around lots of girls... There is more opportunity of socializing in general.

------

What do you really want beside generating an income and being self-reliant?

Edited February 9, 2022 by Human Mint

[Human Mint]

On 4/2/2022 at 6:10 PM, Bogdan said:

- where does music fit into all of this? does it fit at all??

@Bogdan

[Bogdan]

3 hours ago, Human Mint said:

What do you really want beside generating an income and being self-reliant?

It's funny how i realize time and time again that i don't contemplate this stuff seriously and hard enough. And i fancied myself as "one of the hard working ones"

I contemplated basically non-stop these past few days, and i realized what i really want is to be able to make my own music. It's so clear now! It's so obvious that it got overlooked

it's not JUST that, of course. But this is THE one main thing that i ACHE to master!

It's just that i'm pretty far away from having the skill to materialize what i actually have in my head. It's such a daunting task, that i was desperately trying to find a way out.

It will take years and years. Maybe decades. But 

On 2/6/2022 at 7:15 PM, EugeneTheSage said:

Would you continue with this project if it would take 2 times more time, energy, money than your estimate?". If not I wouldn't start it

no matter how long it takes, it'll be worth it!!! 

And the health and trainer stuff is super important, because musicians have such shitty lifestyles... my back would ache so much! But back to work!

Thanks, you guys!!  And thanks Leo for Actualized.org and this amazing forum!

[Bogdan]

it's not just about music tho ... i want to create the most amazing VIDEOS or even a VR GAME or a DOCUMENTARY!

That explain Love and God and Infinity and PSYCHEDELICS!!! And music/sound is plays a BIG, BIG role in that.

And that general direction is how everything starts to come together

Holy shit...

[Human Mint]

5 hours ago, Bogdan said:

and i realized what i really want is to be able to make my own music. It's so clear now! It's so obvious that it got overlooked

it's not JUST that, of course. But this is THE one main thing that i ACHE to master!

Same here!! Heck yeah

[Bogdan]

I feel inspired to leave this last comment on here:

Usually i contemplate things on my own and refrain from posting on the forum.

But with this subject i gave myself a "permission slip", and it was very helpful. 

It's ultimately not about me, little Bogdan doing music and sport.

It's about broadening my perspective and identity all the way to God, and realizing that I AM music and I AM sport. Thus thinking with a higher brain wave thing scientifically. "Raising my vibration". Overcoming fear and becoming more selfless, and having better quality thoughts and taking wiser decisions from that place.

That's it for now. Namaste. Love y'all! 

[supremeyingyang]

@Bogdan

much love

[Cathal]

i understand the lust to transform yourself when you get a glimpse of the ultimate but

always begin with financial freedom. that must be your bedrock, otherwise things can become delusional and you may find yourself in very tricky situations that's all i have to say

good luck bro <3

[Bogdan]

@catcat69123 Agreed. Thank you brother!