Looks are not everything but..

[patricknotstar]

Looks are not the most important thing in life, but looks affect everything that's important to life. 

Whether you want to admit or not, there  is a looks threshold men must meet to even enter the dating market. And if you're a woman and don't believe me try making a dating profile with the picture of a below average looking man. 

Without meeting a certain physical threshold as a man you will be forced into a  life of loneliness , you will have zero dating prospects , you will have little agency over your life and be depressed as you are denied a large portion of your deficiency needs. 

Now ppl will say you can take care of yourself etc etc , not true there are some people who's facial bone structure is simply so poor, combined with other factors such as balding , extremly short that it just seals their fate. No amount of game and inner work will get them success with women. 

Don't deny this , as it's very condescending to those who were born to this fate, but instead I ask you what can someone who was born this unnatractive to where they will never experience attraction and romance do to fill that void and frustration in their life?

[Raze]

https://imgur.com/a/aeEQfMj

https://imgur.com/a/JX3YIrg

if these guys can make it, anyone can

 

3 hours ago, patricknotstar said:

Don't deny this , as it's very condescending to those who were born to this fate, but instead I ask you what can someone who was born this unnatractive to where they will never experience attraction and romance do to fill that void and frustration in their life?

This is assuming attraction and romance are the meaning of life and key to happiness, they aren’t, they are ultimately attachments which lead to suffering. 

[something_else]

1 hour ago, patricknotstar said:

Whether you want to admit or not, there  is a looks threshold men must meet to even enter the dating market. And if you're a woman and don't believe me try making a dating profile with the picture of a below average looking man. 

Online dating is not representative of reality. There are a million factors that make it an extremely disadvantaged situation for guys. Even above-average looking guys will often struggle with online dating

The supply/demand is completely fucked up, there are often 10x as many guys as there are girls on a dating app. If you're not at least moderately attractive your profile won't even be shown to girls at all. But in real life you can talk to as many girls as you can find

You also can show off very little about yourself other than looks. It's very hard to show any masculine personality or charisma

Yea it sucks if you don't have the best looks, but seriously, don't use online dating to base your understanding of dating in reality. It's just wrong and incredibly skewed. Don't translate online dating statistics to reality either

Ultimately women don't want great looks, they want a man. And you can be masculine without good looks.

My mother is probably an 8/10 in looks but my step dad looks like a tomato. He embodies masculinity very well though, in other words he's a man. And thus he's still attractive even though he doesn't look great. You can find lots of examples of physically unattractive men with girls who are physically way more attractive. Just pay attention when you are out and you'll see it

1 hour ago, patricknotstar said:

Now ppl will say you can take care of yourself etc etc , not true there are some people who's facial bone structure is simply so poor, combined with other factors such as balding , extremly short that it just seals their fate. No amount of game and inner work will get them success with women. 

The main thing is that you're not physically out of shape. If you combine these things with being overweight then it's pretty bad. I've seen plenty of bald men with attractive girlfriends. Like I said, my stepdad's head is literally circular (no bone structure to speak of) yet he seemed to do pretty well for himself with woman from what I gather

1 hour ago, Raze said:

This is assuming attraction and romance are the meaning of life and key to happiness, they aren’t, they are ultimately attachments which lead to suffering. 

This is not what anyone wants to hear. Try telling a starving African that food is just an attachment and he should let go of his attachment to food

Edited February 3, 2022 by something_else

[Raze]

3 hours ago, something_else said:

 

This is not what anyone wants to hear. Try telling a starving African that food is just an attachment and he should let go of his attachment to food

The worse the situation you surrender too, the deeper you go, many have found freedom at the brink of death from starvation.

The person starving would probably think any of our complaints and suffering is ridiculous if we have food and safety, yet we still suffer. Starving will make you unhappy, but not starving isn’t the key to happiness either.

[something_else]

27 minutes ago, Raze said:

The worse the situation you surrender too, the deeper you go, many have found freedom at the brink of death from starvation.

The person starving would probably think any of our complaints and suffering is ridiculous if we have food and safety, yet we still suffer. Starving will make you unhappy, but not starving isn’t the key to happiness either.

I know what you were trying to say, the point is that giving such advice to people is insensitive. That kind of advice only starts to apply once you have obtained a certain amount of material success

[Preety_India]

1 hour ago, patricknotstar said:

Don't deny this , as it's very condescending to those who were born to this fate, but instead I ask you what can someone who was born this unnatractive to where they will never experience attraction and romance do to fill that void and frustration in their life?

You have raised a very valid point. The best that they can do is own a pet, a pet's affection is beautiful, warm, compassionate. It makes a person forget their worries. Animals give us unconditional love. 

[something_else]

Also my man, @patricknotstar I just saw your face in the show your face thread and you are an attractive dude! You seriously do not have anything to be concerned about! Why on earth do you think you're not physically attractive?

[Leo Gura]

For online dating looks certainly matter.

You're a fool though for leaving your dating to online. By being that lazy you end up with low quality girls or no girls at all.

The bottom line is: if you want quality girls you're gonna have to work for it. Stop expecting them for free.

[Nahm]

4 hours ago, patricknotstar said:

what can someone who was born this unnatractive to where they will never experience attraction and romance do to fill that void and frustration in their life?

What they love. If that’s put first in the first place, one is magnetic, and there is no need for the objectifying & conceptualizing, and rumination therein. One could also study special & general relativity. 

One can also utilize the emotional scale, to reveal the frustration is with the thoughts, and not a world or situation. Thought is infinitely sneaky, but consciousness is infinitely wise, and thus aversion (Traps) can be noticed within framing like ‘their life’.  Then there can be the same recognition in regard to pessimism. But of course don’t stop there. 

[Evoke]

4 hours ago, patricknotstar said:

Looks are not the most important thing in life, but looks affect everything that's important to life. 

Whether you want to admit or not, there  is a looks threshold men must meet to even enter the dating market. And if you're a woman and don't believe me try making a dating profile with the picture of a below average looking man. 

Without meeting a certain physical threshold as a man you will be forced into a  life of loneliness , you will have zero dating prospects , you will have little agency over your life and be depressed as you are denied a large portion of your deficiency needs. 

Now ppl will say you can take care of yourself etc etc , not true there are some people who's facial bone structure is simply so poor, combined with other factors such as balding , extremly short that it just seals their fate. No amount of game and inner work will get them success with women. 

Don't deny this , as it's very condescending to those who were born to this fate, but instead I ask you what can someone who was born this unnatractive to where they will never experience attraction and romance do to fill that void and frustration in their life?

Say this to Owen Cook. 

[Karmadhi]

3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

if you want quality girls you're gonna have to work for it. Stop expecting them for free.

Actually if you want ANY girls you have to work for it. Even "low quality" girls need work. Otherwise we would not have 1/3 of the population as starving incels that never get laid.

6 hours ago, patricknotstar said:

Whether you want to admit or not, there  is a looks threshold men must meet to even enter the dating market

Every girl has different tastes, if you do not meet HER personal minimum threashhold then yes you will not be able to get her. Move on to a girl that might find you datable.

6 hours ago, patricknotstar said:

combined with other factors such as balding

Balding can be fixed, just do a hair transplant. Millions of people have fixed it using this way. If it really bothers you so much it is worth 5000 dollars for a hair transplant. It is not necessary though.

6 hours ago, patricknotstar said:

No amount of game and inner work will get them success with women. 

I have seen a few people like this, that seem to have everything against them looks wise. They still got a partner though. Idk how but it happened for them so yeah. Stay positive!

6 hours ago, patricknotstar said:

s it's very condescending to those who were born to this fate, but instead I ask you what can someone who was born this unnatractive to where they will never experience attraction and romance do to fill that void and frustration in their life?

And people that are born blind will never be able to experience "vision" in their life. Life aint fair.

This logic applies to girls also. A girl that is born very ugly will have a shitty romantic life relative to average or hot girls. It is not a gender thing.

From my experience the better looking you are the less game you need. Personally sometimes i get jelous of some of my good looking friends who have girls throw themselves at them meanwhile i have to attract them using my personality mostly but it is what it is.

I can tell you that if you struggle with something and then finally get results it will feel so good you cannot believe it. The first time i finally made out with a girl i had this euphoria for a couple of minutes that felt better than an orgasm. Insane stuff.

What you find difficult and rare is also valuable to you so keep grinding!

And lastly i saw your face that you posted. You look quite good to me actually. Good jawline, big eyes, you can grow a good beard, compact face etc. You' re DEFINETLY not ugly so this whole looks discussion is just some bs in this case. You do not need to be a legit CHAD to get results with girls! I have seen much worse looking guys than you get results so yeah stop coping with this bs! 

I can assure you that looks are not the reason why you are not getting results (if that is the case), it is other factors. 

Edited February 3, 2022 by Karmadhi

[Roy]

It certainly makes things harder, but it's impossible. There are billions of people out there, everyone can find a match and to believe otherwise is delusional.

Even if you don't have looks, or your looks are "bad". It just means you'll have work harder in areas like groom, dress, humor, charisma, etc.

There are so many ways to skin a cat.

[aurum]

@patricknotstar

Who are you trying to convince here?

No one with any nuanced thought ever denied looks play some role in life.