Not going anywhere with my life

[Alex_R]

Just pick something and stick to it, try to solve the  maslow hierarchy of needs , is that not enough for you? what do you want? You can find huge meaning on simple hard life like the stoics, check that.

Edited February 3, 2022 by Alex_R

[Alex_R]

Also work on get over the need of approval of your parents, check this 

 

[fopylo]

@Personal Shaman

6 hours ago, Personal Shaman said:

If money's what's holding you, then just work on it, it's easier than you think.

6 hours ago, Personal Shaman said:

Drop any negative beliefs about money and go for it. We live in a World where we exchange money for basically everything at this point. Do you love yourself, want the best shit you can get for yourself? Delicious organic food? Travel to lit spots? Have enough time to focus on your emotional development, hobbies, passions? Good luck doing it being broke.

Focusing on making the money brings the belief that I don't really have the commitment and sharp skill to do it. Trust me man I've tried this KDP a few months ago - didn't like any bit of it, wasted lots of money, and made only like 1 dollar. Tried an online business with Shopify last year and no sales. I didn't like it that much and I felt like I'm forcing myself. Above all I also need to enjoy it. Maybe I just didn't find what I love yet (business wise)..
I do not want to be broke.
I don't think of myself highly like I can sell anything unique. I don't have expert knowledge like other people, plus I don't want to build a personal image of myself on the internet of something I'm not yet sure is my life purpose.. Doesn't matter. I want to work anonymously. Sometimes in the future I presume I could get into Amazon FBA.
But again, this whole money thing isn't something that's always burning in me. I have some stocks in some shitty brokerage account that my father helps me with it, but I'm not really following it much. Quite averting it.

What businesses have you done? More like, what methods did you use to create money?

6 hours ago, Personal Shaman said:

What you really want is to feel. Better is an idea, period.

Wow. This actually makes way more sense. Thanks for opening my eyes. I guess you mean being present. Lately I feel like I've become better at meditating and something new I've started to do was to use the breath (the intention of breathing) to "gather" the current experience (thoughts, emotions, sensations) to the center, home, the place of things being true, truth. This is naturally expressed by being felt. And it was really insightful, like it isn't about reaching to feel better, but rather feeling the experience (like I wrote) and accepting it with love - it's relaxing. I can still feel anger, worry, but they are experienced now. I guess you could say that what you really want is to feel emotions in general, ever deeper.

 

6 hours ago, Personal Shaman said:

Wow, who would've thought?

It seems as though it was quite obvious from the start the way you say it

 

6 hours ago, Personal Shaman said:

My age is not important

It is out of curiosity that I want to know. Also, perhaps it can help me in talking to you while knowing where are you in your life (in the material world) and how well I can relate to you

[Personal Shaman]

1 hour ago, fopylo said:

Focusing on making the money brings the belief that I don't really have the commitment and sharp skill to do it. Trust me man I've tried this KDP a few months ago - didn't like any bit of it, wasted lots of money, and made only like 1 dollar. Tried an online business with Shopify last year and no sales. I didn't like it that much and I felt like I'm forcing myself. Above all I also need to enjoy it. Maybe I just didn't find what I love yet (business wise)..
I do not want to be broke.
I don't think of myself highly like I can sell anything unique. I don't have expert knowledge like other people, plus I don't want to build a personal image of myself on the internet of something I'm not yet sure is my life purpose.. Doesn't matter. I want to work anonymously. Sometimes in the future I presume I could get into Amazon FBA.
But again, this whole money thing isn't something that's always burning in me. I have some stocks in some shitty brokerage account that my father helps me with it, but I'm not really following it much. Quite averting it.

What businesses have you done? More like, what methods did you use to create money?

I don't know what KDP or Shopify is.

Let's reconstruct this actualized.org business and in a process do the same thing with most online businesses in the current online trend.

As I mentioned, what has always been selling, is selling, and will always be selling?

Body, relationships, money, health, sex, happy marriage, and whatever else goes under these... Actualized.org kinda touches all of them, but believe me you can do equally good with just a single niche in one of these, for example. help female bodybuilders transfer to a vegan diet in under a month or whatever.

Secondly, the guy convinces you that his aim is to give you so much free and amazing content for free so you can create blablabla amazing life. 

Which is fair, he uploads some more or less acceptable quality material. Great. 

What does he do next? He builds some products ladder -> he is selling some kinda cheap book list, I don't really know how much it costs but probably around 50$? And he creates a second product, a life purpose course, which is a kinda higher value, 200$? Maybe this course is a little more advanced than his free content, or better laid out. Both make sense. He could go further than this and sell private 1:1 coaching for 1000$ a month or something, which would easily sell.

Why do they sell? Well, he does have a lot of youtube views and let's say some of his viewers got some results and it's something that has always been selling, is selling, and will always be selling. 

Notice, it's not because his content is any good, it's just a proven material, that has to work if somebody applies it. 

So obviously, if that brings them results, they could think something along 'what results could I get from his course if his free content gave me so much?'. Assuming he had 500.000 subscribers at the time, 1% bought it for $200, Bang, $1.000.000 on his bank account, or whatever. He just funded his lifestyle by selling you, really nothing special, something you didn't know, but also didn't know that you can know, by any other means, or you just trusted him, or whatever, you liked his goatee. Or maybe you couldn't figure out how to start creating your life purpose and that's what he promised you'll get from his course. 

Now, let's go back to the movie I recommended you to watch 'Catch Me If You Can'. The highschool age kid goes to his class and pretends he's their French teacher for like two weeks (I have watched it a while ago so I don't remember details)? How does he do that? He doesn't speak French. He just stays one book chapter ahead of his class.

And now notice that it's what this business, and probably 95% of new modern online coaching/course businesses bringing literally millions $ in revenue, are all about. And you can do it from next week, and you will get paid for it, and you might as well earn more that this guy in half the time.

Of course, there's marketing going into it, creating content, lining up your offer, stuff like this. That's the work and time you have to put in.

Nobody is selling you sacred knowledge. You don't have to be an expert in anything. You only have to know a little more than your audience, and they will certainly be happy to buy this knowledge from you. Because? Yes, it's always been, is and will be selling... And it will work. And you will help others by doing something you're passionate about. 

Notice that his early content is kind of shit, I'm not referring to newer content because I'll probably get eaten by his fanboys, but I'll mention that 4 weeks of silence is probably the best episode so far. There's, quite literally, zero creative content there (early on). All of that was copied from basic self-help concepts, courses, seminars, you tell me... You can find it in any respectable self-help book, or just take 5 seconds and google it.

 

1 hour ago, fopylo said:

It is out of curiosity that I want to know. Also, perhaps it can help me in talking to you while knowing where are you in your life (in the material world) and how well I can relate to you

 

I created my first business to earn money to undertake my shamanic quest, i.e. I had to live off of it for at least two years. Money was the one thing stopping me, I've earned around 20.000$ in my first three months, then passively it jumped to around $100.000 in the same first year and then I closed this as I had better things to do in life. 

 

 

[Guest EmptyVase]

@fopylo

The rule for making money is simple: become a massive value provider and show that to the people you want to work with. When others see that your work, your products and/or services are high quality, they will naturally gravitate towards you.

Think of going to a massage. If you have the choice between going to a masseur who's kinda okay, and a masseur who can relax every little tense spot, to which one will you go? To whom do you want to give your money?

[fopylo]

19 hours ago, Personal Shaman said:

And now notice that it's what this business, and probably 95% of new modern online coaching/course businesses bringing literally millions $ in revenue, are all about. And you can do it from next week, and you will get paid for it, and you might as well earn more that this guy in half the time.

Of course, there's marketing going into it, creating content, lining up your offer, stuff like this. That's the work and time you have to put in.

@Personal Shaman
Ok but I don't really want to do coaching, don't feel like I'm ready for it, plus, it doesn't quite feel right, at least for now.

 

19 hours ago, Personal Shaman said:

I created my first business to earn money to undertake my shamanic quest, i.e. I had to live off of it for at least two years. Money was the one thing stopping me, I've earned around 20.000$ in my first three months, then passively it jumped to around $100.000 in the same first year and then I closed this as I had better things to do in life. 

What was the business if I ay ask?

19 hours ago, EmptyVase said:

The rule for making money is simple: become a massive value provider and show that to the people you want to work with.

@EmptyVase

But like I believe I said, massive value provider in what? I hope you notice how this could potentially put pressure on me, putting this pressure on myself. Not only do I not know what to do (as well as the fears in going all in on a business that I don't know how I will act), but also to be a massive provider, in other words, it sounds like a real 'all in'

[Guest EmptyVase]

You could reframe 'massive value provider' as 'massive fun haver'.

You provide massive value by becoming really good at something and then offering that to others. You become really good at something when you simply enjoy doing it. When you enjoy something, you're willing to take on all the challenges and put in the time and effort, and even the things you don't wanna do. It's okay to not enjoy every little aspect of your work.

Think of being a DJ. DJing is fun, but there's a lot of paperwork involved with it to make sure you earn your money. For some, DJing isn't fun enough to do all the paperwork. For others, they enjoy DJing so much, that they're willing to do whatever is necessary, so that they can DJ.

Now the question 'massive value provider in what?' could be seen as 'massive fun haver in what?'.

What do you enjoy doing? As far as I understood, you haven't yet found what's really resonating with you. I'd be scientific about it - start to genuinely try things out, see what resonates, see what doesn't. It's a trial and error process, which can take years. It could also be that you immediately find something worth your time. And even if it takes years, the process can be very enjoyable - so many things to experience, so much stuff to learn. Life is not a burden (god bless if you have any disease), it's a game. Easy games tend to be boring, but succeeding in a challenging game? That's one heckuva fun. Skateboarders, musicians, and any other people who enjoy what they're doing, challenge themselves over and over again - cuz it's fun! It feels very rewarding to tackle one beast of a challenge.

But, and that's the kicker, you ain't never gonna know what you enjoy when you do not undergo this trial and error process. You don't have to go all in for just one thing you try out. But you should go all in with the trial and error process, because, frankly, what else is there to do in this life?

I'd suggest, instead of complaining (not suggesting suppressing emotions here) about what you don't achieve, invest this energy in further trial and error. You genuinely tried something and it doesn't resonate with you? Alright, then this ain't it. Next thang! Next experience! Next thing to do! Having a deep involvement with life is satisfying and also, imo, a great spiritual practice. Awareness, being vs. doing, energy, focus, manifestation, love, service to others - it all comes together in a beautiful way.

Life. Is. A. Gift.

"Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun."

- Alan Watts

Edited February 4, 2022 by EmptyVase

[fopylo]

@EmptyVase

On 2/4/2022 at 9:00 PM, EmptyVase said:

You could reframe 'massive value provider' as 'massive fun haver'.

You provide massive value by becoming really good at something and then offering that to others. You become really good at something when you simply enjoy doing it. When you enjoy something, you're willing to take on all the challenges and put in the time and effort, and even the things you don't wanna do. It's okay to not enjoy every little aspect of your work.

Wow this is actually a fucking beast way to look at it, great mindset. Thanks. So then the last question remains how do I find what I simply enjoy? It needs to be something that can add value to others though, and something I can sell. I am having thoughts about a part-time job I should get in the break before going to camp and most of the jobs that come up in thought don't feel the best. I believe you have times when faced with options and that none of them feel very good but you need to go with one of them anyway. But this is talking only about a part time job.

Yesterday I was having some thoughts... About people who I know and that I envy. My brother, as I said already. Also a kid back from high school that was always good with achieving stuff, always confident, a pro trickster (backflips and all those tricks), has a beautiful girlfriend, wrote a fucking 500 and something page fantasy book that he is advertising and selling well, was interviewed on tv because of it, has a good position in the army. Fucking jealous.

On 2/4/2022 at 9:00 PM, EmptyVase said:

start to genuinely try things out

Man I'm like all day in my room on my laptop, sometimes going out (was on a short break from camp). It is kinda vague for me to 'try things out'. I don't also really feel like going out of my way to try knew stuff (even if deep down I want a better life). Basically in a rut - having repeating thoughts and being 'stuck.

On 2/4/2022 at 9:00 PM, EmptyVase said:

Skateboarders, musicians, and any other people who enjoy what they're doing, challenge themselves over and over again - cuz it's fun! It feels very rewarding to tackle one beast of a challenge

Yeah this is the kind of life I want - One that has challenges and is fun, to feel like the beast I really am, this almost animalistic instinct lol

 

On 2/4/2022 at 9:00 PM, EmptyVase said:

But you should go all in with the trial and error process, because, frankly, what else is there to do in this life?

Hmm.. Not to go all in on one thing, but rather commit to this trial and error process.. makes sense. For the question - to sit comfortably in your room chilling, in your comfort zone.

 

On 2/4/2022 at 9:00 PM, EmptyVase said:

You genuinely tried something and it doesn't resonate with you? Alright, then this ain't it. Next thang! Next experience! Next thing to do! Having a deep involvement with life is satisfying and also, imo, a great spiritual practice.

I believe this requires some shift in focus. A drive one must have to embark on this game with such enthusiam, something that will move an individual to take action. I am quite scared trying things out, but I have desires. Fucking hell. The things you are saying feel just so right, like why isn't it the case for me. I've had periods in my life when life really felt like this game.

[Ulax]

@fopylo Fair play dude.

I respect the introspection. Sounds tough with the brother and all.

Perhaps, it would better serve you to leave the spiritual stuff for later in life, and work on grounding yourself more now.

That could be done via using different types of meditations, i.e. 'see, hear, feel' mindfulness meditation

[hyruga]

Just study hard and get a degree!

[Guest EmptyVase]

5 hours ago, fopylo said:

Thanks. So then the last question remains how do I find what I simply enjoy?

Sure, you're welcome.

Find it out by trying things out.

5 hours ago, fopylo said:

It needs to be something that can add value to others though, and something I can sell.

First and foremost, you should enjoy it. Adding value to others and selling it is secondary. Especially in the long-term vision.

5 hours ago, fopylo said:

I am having thoughts about a part-time job I should get in the break before going to camp and most of the jobs that come up in thought don't feel the best.

Don't only judge by thought. Thoughts are deceptive in nature. Judge by actually experiencing. Sex and thinking about sex are not the same.

5 hours ago, fopylo said:

I believe you have times when faced with options and that none of them feel very good but you need to go with one of them anyway.

You can't get it wrong, when you listen to feeling.

5 hours ago, fopylo said:

Man I'm like all day in my room on my laptop, sometimes going out (was on a short break from camp). It is kinda vague for me to 'try things out'. I don't also really feel like going out of my way to try knew stuff (even if deep down I want a better life). Basically in a rut - having repeating thoughts and being 'stuck.

Being stuck is a concept which does not hold in actuality.

Try things out. Look around in your room. Is there a guitar? Maybe play it. Is there an apple? Eat it and taste it, experience it. You have a computer in your room? Maybe you want to try coding. Look at your wardrobe. Maybe you want to try on a piece which you didn't wear in a long time.

Trying things out is vague because it could be anything. That's good news, btw. 

The only thing which is holding you back are thoughts.

5 hours ago, fopylo said:

Yeah this is the kind of life I want - One that has challenges and is fun, to feel like the beast I really am, this almost animalistic instinct lol

Then do that.

5 hours ago, fopylo said:

I am quite scared trying things out, but I have desires. Fucking hell. The things you are saying feel just so right, like why isn't it the case for me.

Don't hold yourself back. Challenge this beast and ride it. 

[fopylo]

2 hours ago, EmptyVase said:

First and foremost, you should enjoy it. Adding value to others and selling it is secondary. Especially in the long-term vision.

I can think of stuff you could do for enjoyment but not much for selling.

2 hours ago, EmptyVase said:

Don't only judge by thought. Thoughts are deceptive in nature. Judge by actually experiencing.

If I'm going against it, feeling not so good, I'm suppressing feeling.

2 hours ago, EmptyVase said:

You can't get it wrong, when you listen to feeling.

Yeah but you're contradicting yourself as you just said that thoughts are deceptive, so when you listen to feeling you're feeling the thoughts of future and how things might be. This is an assumption

 

2 hours ago, EmptyVase said:

Try things out. Look around in your room. Is there a guitar? Maybe play it. Is there an apple? Eat it and taste it, experience it. You have a computer in your room? Maybe you want to try coding. Look at your wardrobe. Maybe you want to try on a piece which you didn't wear in a long time.

I am not doing it. I am comfy. Maybe thoughts are holding me back from trying new things, but idk.

Perhaps this could be one of those phases?

[Guest EmptyVase]

22 hours ago, fopylo said:

I can think of stuff you could do for enjoyment but not much for selling.

You put up a restriction again, which hinders you from even starting to do something.

22 hours ago, fopylo said:

If I'm going against it, feeling not so good, I'm suppressing feeling.

Those are more discordant thoughts which prevent you from actually experiencing trial and error.

22 hours ago, fopylo said:

Yeah but you're contradicting yourself as you just said that thoughts are deceptive, so when you listen to feeling you're feeling the thoughts of future and how things might be. This is an assumption

More discordant thoughts.

(Distraction by philosophizing about feeling vs. direct experience)

22 hours ago, fopylo said:

I am not doing it. I am comfy. Maybe thoughts are holding me back from trying new things, but idk.

Yep. Nike got it right.

Edited February 7, 2022 by EmptyVase