100% unable to take my mind off sex & be productive

[Striving for more]

• I stay on no fap & don't want to lose my sexual drive 
• I eat healthy & workout & do meditation - doesn't solve the problem
• But I CAN'T take my mind (or body) off sex 
• I wish I could go & obtain sex on command, like go up to a woman in a store & pull her straight away, I know that is unrealistic especially for someone who's new to game, but this would be so much better for me & the world, because I'd be able to get it over with & then focus on myself & even life purpose. 
• Because of sexual frustration, no life purpose, even worse my finances & survival needs are at risk because I can't concentrate. 
• I am not here to make excuses, I can go & approach women, but I have no wing man, no support & I don't know how to do it without feeling like a creep, I've watched leos videos & more theory than I need, but in practice I just feel like a desperate creep.

[Lyubov]

Yes, it’s an awful feeling. I would go out and fulfill it then. Do what you have to do even if it includes moving, saving up money to live in a new city or not at the parents, etc. 

[Striving for more]

7 minutes ago, Lyubov said:

Yes, it’s an awful feeling. I would go out and fulfill it then. Do what you have to do even if it includes moving, saving up money to live in a new city or not at the parents, etc. 

• There's no excuse! I've already done all that, I am in a city full of people & I currently live alone. Not getting laid is a risk to my survival because I work for myself now. 

 

• I am actually going out later tonight, so logically I should be able to chill out & do my work & be patient, but I still just can't stop thinking about it, I want to do some quick day game, but I'm having to do this in 2nd language lol ... It couldn't get any harder but big challenges are what I need to grow

 

• I made eye contact with this hot woman (staff) in a store nearby for example, but this is an empty store & there's like 3 staff in there ...
• Is staff a no go because she can't escape & it's awkward for her in front of her coworkers? 
• Or maybe is it more acceptable if it's a big store (e.g department or clothing) where she's more isolated? 
• Because I notice staff (receptionists, barwomen, retail clerks ect...) tend to be more consistently attractive than strangers, which makes sense
• It's just the thought of approaching a staff makes me feel like a "creep" & another one of "those men", i gues i should drown out htese htoughts. 

Edited February 2, 2022 by Striving for more

[Roy]

Just jerk off, don't hate yourself for it, and get back to whatever it is you want to do.

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Striving for more said:

I stay on no fap

There's your problem.

Jerking off exists for good reason.

A woman will never provide you sufficient sex, even if you get a girlfriend. Welcome to being a man.

No fap is dumb.

[Hello from Russia]

Just jerk it off, bro

Edited February 2, 2022 by Hello from Russia

[hamedsf]

bear in mind that no fap will have its ups and downs and it might lower the quality of your productivity too. 

sex is the most essential need for us human beings, especially for men to the point that if you don't do it for a while, it'll knock on the door of your mind constantly to make you do take action about it. that's the sneaky part of biological survival!

so focus on getting laid for now or if your situation doesn't let you take bold actions, temporarily beat the meat but eventually you have to do something about it.

 

[Vynce]

22 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Welcome to being a man.

 

There are men, who seem to be less affected from their sexual desires. Hard work and sharp focus seems to exclude sexual desires for me. 

Being bored and not thinking about sex is quite impossible though. 

[Striving for more]

36 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

No fap is dumb.

It's true permanent no fap becomes distracting ...

But u said yourself I should not jerk off before socializing with women so they feel the desire

So if I jerk off doesn't that hurt my chances for when I go out tonight or even on friday?

[Federico del pueblo]

22 minutes ago, Striving for more said:

It's true permanent no fap becomes distracting ...

But u said yourself I should not jerk off before socializing with women so they feel the desire

So if I jerk off doesn't that hurt my chances for when I go out tonight or even on friday?

22 minutes ago, Striving for more said:

It's true permanent no fap becomes distracting ...

But u said yourself I should not jerk off before socializing with women so they feel the desire

So if I jerk off doesn't that hurt my chances for when I go out tonight or even on friday?

Just try it out. I don't think it hurts your chances, especially when you jerk off the day before going out. You'll probably still feel more than enough desire as soon as you see an attractive girl.

I think desire can even become too much, like when you're super horny when going out you might start to act too desperate and maybe supplicate instead of being the guy for the whom she has to work a little bit.

[Roy]

29 minutes ago, Striving for more said:

should not jerk off before socializing with women so they feel the desire

How malleable or weak does ones personality have to be to get affected by whether they jerk off or not lol.

Am I missing something, is this actually a problem for people?

[vladorion]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

There's your problem.

Jerking off exists for good reason.

A woman will never provide you sufficient sex, even if you get a girlfriend. Welcome to being a man.

No fap is dumb.

Why are you extrapolating your experiences with women on all people and presenting it as a fact?

Women can have a pretty high sex drive too. 

If you're not getting all the sex you need from your girlfriend, well, there's a problem there.

[Lyubov]

10 minutes ago, Roy said:

How malleable or weak does ones personality have to be to get affected by whether they jerk off or not lol.

Am I missing something, is this actually a problem for people?

It's just a no fap thing I think. I heard this before. They say don't jack off so you're horny and wanna chase women. I've not really noticed a difference. If I'm too horny I actually get impatient and women can feel those "thirsty" vibes. It can be a sort of turn off for them. They like a guy that's in control of himself. I personally haven't found nofap useful (gave it a try A LONGGGG time ago and longest I lasted was a week). Basically gave me blue balls and sexual frustration. 

[Husseinisdoingfine]

2 hours ago, Striving for more said:

 

• I eat healthy & workout & do meditation - doesn't solve the problem

Of course it won’t “solve your problem” because  you don’t have a problem. Sexual craving is a sign of health and vitality. It’s unhealthy people who lose their drive.

But still don’t masturbate, keep doing no-fap. Masturbation screws up your mind and body in various ways.

[puporing]

6 minutes ago, vladorion said:

Why are you extrapolating your experiences with women on all people and presenting it as a fact?

Women can have a pretty high sex drive too. 

Yep... Women can have the same "problem" with their guy.. it's just a relativity thing - who has the higher drive in the relationship. 

 

[Striving for more]

23 minutes ago, Husseinisdoingfine said:

But still don’t masturbate, keep doing no-fap. Masturbation screws up your mind and body in various ways.

I just did .. 

I agree frequent masturbation makes me lethargic.

But too much no fap for too long clouds my mind as well 

I lost hours today to sexual distraction just because I was refusing to fap. It's dumb. 

 

Edited February 2, 2022 by Striving for more

[Roy]

12 minutes ago, Lyubov said:

Basically gave me blue balls and sexual frustration. 

Yeah, it seems like it's the kind of logic that will actually backfire for the people that need the most help. The more you suppress the urge, the more likely it will come back to bite you in the ass. If one is frustrated with their results with women, and they quit jerking off to give them energy or motivation to get better with them,

> They'll either try and still suck with women which will make them MORE frustrated because now it's the self-hate from not getting results + they can't cum either.

> Or it might push them into potentially viewing women as objects and a means to an end because they'll be chasing women as a way to sexually release, not with genuine intent to treat them as people.

They could also get better and it could help, but only for a handful of people. I'm not totally against it I think No Fap is worth trying. It's just kind of like the nicotine patch in my point of view, it's like a band-aid to a much deeper problem. The kinds of guys I see who get into No Fap need work on their crippling self-esteem and socialization issues, whether they jerk off or not is kind of an independent variable that's not that important.

 

[eTorro]

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

A woman will never provide you sufficient sex, even if you get a girlfriend. Welcome to being a man.

 

How about a woman, @Leo Gura?

Does she require "jerking off?" Or a woman is not like a man, meaning that she doesn't need to have sex as often as a man. 

[mememe]

37 minutes ago, Striving for more said:

I just did .. 

I agree frequent masturbation makes me lethargic.

But too much no fap for too long clouds my mind as well 

I lost hours today to sexual distraction just because I was refusing to fap. It's dumb. 

 

peer pressure is dumber just realize who controls your mind.

[Striving for more]

51 minutes ago, mememe said:

peer pressure is dumber just realize who controls your mind.

U could say the same about the peer pressure of staying on no fap too though? 

"Don't fap, it's never worth it!, don't be weak!!" 

I'm not against no fap but dont u agree most no fappers are closed minded to nuance.

E.g unable to conisder that fapping sometimes is worthwhile, rather than "it's always bad". 

I'd probably say once every 2,3 or 4 weeks. 

For me at least 3 weeks gap is best. Depends though.

Edited February 2, 2022 by Striving for more