Ego death feels like ultimate death to me.

[patricknotstar]

I understand that our sense of identity is transient and fragile , that our lense of perception  can change. For example I look at myself in the mirror right now and I recognize it as me , as a human, with this given life story but if I take salvia I may look in the mirror and have no idea what that thing is , no concept of what a human is and so forth.

in actuality nothing has changed , it's the same shapes , sounds , colours being brought into awareness but the lense of perception, the identification of those forms has changed.

I understand this through direct experience (salvia) , however this is not satisfactory to me, because if I lose my current sense of self , even if the awareness continues , this identity will die. I as I am right now will die and never come back. To me this feels like dying forever, I don't want to die as I am now and come back with the consciousness of a frog or whatever. 

Or am I looking at this completely wrong due to my limited level of consciousness. Is it possible after death to still remeber this sense of self I was. 

Edited February 2, 2022 by patricknotstar
misspelled perception

[Nahm]

4 hours ago, patricknotstar said:

Ego death feels like ultimate death to me.

‘Ultimate death’ isn’t a feeling, it’s a concept which is discordant. The ‘me’ thought of & spoken of isn’t a second self, but is as appears, thoughts & beliefs. 

Quote

I understand that our sense of identity is transient and fragile , that our lense of perception  can change. For example I look at myself in the mirror right now and I recognize it as me , as a human, with this given life story but if I take salvia I may look in the mirror and have no idea what that thing is , no concept of what a human is and so forth.

Concepts of identity are fragile, and also fragile is a concept, the sense is immeasurably powerful and certain. The lens never changes and isn’t per se yours, mine or ours. A mirror is a mirror, in that a mirror is thought & perception. It isn’t possible to look at yourself in a mirror, it is possible to believe thoughts. 

Quote

in actuality nothing has changed , it's the same shapes , sounds , colours being brought into awareness but the lense of perception, the identification of those forms has changed.

I understand this through direct experience (salvia) , however this is not satisfactory to me, because if I lose my current sense of self , even if the awareness continues , this identity will die. I as I am right now will die and never come back. To me this feels like dying forever, I don't want to die as I am now and come back with the consciousness of a frog or whatever. 

Or am I looking at this completely wrong due to my limited level of consciousness. Is it possible after death to still remeber this sense of self I was. 

Identity is thoughts and beliefs, and so is die / death. When ‘not there’ these thoughts & beliefs are only not focused on, and are not dying or dead, as those are also, as experienced, thoughts. The ‘me’ which has a limited level of consciousness, is only the thoughts that there is a ‘me’ which has a limited level of consciousness, and sometimes referred to as a subject-object thought, or mental fragmentation. That ‘me’ and ‘death’ are as experienced, thoughts. 

Meditation.
The emotional scale.
Subject-object thoughts.
Going prior. 

 

[Carl-Richard]

On 2.2.2022 at 10:47 AM, patricknotstar said:

I understand this through direct experience (salvia) , however this is not satisfactory to me, because if I lose my current sense of self , even if the awareness continues , this identity will die. I as I am right now will die and never come back. To me this feels like dying forever

I have the exact same experience. I just fear it too much.

[Kksd74628]

@patricknotstar

The sky is blue colored, grass is green colored, the sun is yellow colored and asphalt is black colored.

Thing is that what are blue, green, yellow and black.

You know that those are colors and you can check those from the world around you in your direct experience, but question that remains is do how you know which is "I" without first telling me "I am the body", "I am the observer", "I am the awarness", "I am the universe", "I am pure consciousenss", "I am the God" etc.

I don't want to know what "I" equals, I want to know what do you think is "I" and again how do you know what this "I" is without first labeling it to something. 

"I feel like I am dying" ... ... ... Who is dying? "I feel like my identity is dying" ... ... ... Who feels and whose identity dies?

Thing that happened is that first there came thought of "I" and now when that thought goes away there comes chock, but that really was never there and never leaves, because how can something die without first being born.

It's completely same that you now think about pink table and then let that thought fade away and nothing happens. (actually do that now and see what I try to point out) Then think of you now reading this message and then let that thought of someone existing right now reading and understanding something fade away and nothing happens.

Also understand that - if you believe that when you stop thinking of self someone dies and then comes suffering - this is also thought about thought. 

IMPORTANT!! Before stressing about something dying first question the assumption that there was "I" to begin with.

[Hojo]

If you have experienced the void and felt nothingness you have to recognize that you were there experiencing the nothingness yourself as that nothingness and tiny tiny voice and not the body. 

Edited February 20, 2022 by Hojo