The Concept of Enlightenment is the last thing I had to let go of

[TheOneReborn]

Hi everyone, 

I'm happy to have joined this forum. I've been watching Leo's videos for a couple months now and they've helped a lot in helping me face my fears and make sense of my existence (which I've always somehow been afraid of). 

I recently had a near enlightenment experience a few weeks ago. I say "near enlightenment" because I was on the edge of it but I was afraid to let my ego die. I conciously kept my body tense so I didn't have to go through the full experience. 

But a thought occurred to me during that experience which got me thinking. When I was on the edge of ego death, I thought to myself that I needed to entirely let go of any conception I had about spirituality, enlightenment, and existence. At the end of the day all these things are concepts or images of Truth, which can never capture the Truth as it is. When I stopped trying to imagine what the mechanical of my conciousness "looked like" I noticed a huge energy shift towards my skull and I really felt like I was on the edge of death. 

I wonder what others think of this? How can we engage deeply in spirituality and practices and such without getting caught up in thinking that we are actually close to a conception of the Truth as it is.

[Leo Gura]

None of your ideas of awakening are awakening. So yeah, you'll have to let them go. Don't worry, you're not losing much in doing so.

Awakening is way beyond any idea.

How to realize all your ideas of awakening ain't it? 5-MeO-DMT will quickly bitchslap them out of your mind.

[TheOneReborn]

10 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

None of your ideas of awakening are awakening. So yeah, you'll have to let them go. Don't worry, you're not losing much in doing so.

Awakening is way beyond any idea.

How to realize all your ideas of awakening ain't it? 5-MeO-DMT will quickly bitchslap them out of your mind.

It's funny how one has to become "concious" of they're own fruitless attempt to grasp conciousness itself