Shadow work goes wrong?

[OBEler]

Hello,

my girlfriend took many psychedelica every week for month. She is deeply traumatized from high school bullying and other things but psychedelica helped her a lot to release some negative energy. Her first LSD trip healed her migraine forever.

Right now she is at home in her country (no access to psychedelica) and has nothing to do. She sees suddenly all her shadows in her life openly like a book. She said this is very important for her and she cannot talk about the shadow experience because it is too heavy. This is since one month so.

I ask me if this is normal shadow work or if she does something wrong. Because some issues she told me are a little worrysome:

• she said right now she can go deeper than on any trip with lsd, mushroom, mdma and so on
• she is connected to universe. She cannot talk about it.
• She cannot speak to any human being since weeks, it cost too much energy
• she cannot leave the house, she cannot move 
• She vomits sometimes from too much emotional pain
• she has constant panic attacks
  • even the word panic gives her heart beating
  • if there is any stressful situation she feel she could die from the stress. she is at her limit

 

• However all these difficulties she describes, she also says this phase she is right now will define her destiny for the next 5 years
• She WANTS to see the shadow in her
• She also is of course sad and angry about her, that she cannot do anything right now because this shadow work cost so much energy

 

Is that normal shadow work or something else (dark night of the soul)? How long will this take, what are your experiences with shadow?

 

 

Edited January 28, 2022 by OBEler

[OBEler]

She now says that she is feeling  like the peak of an LSD Trip all the time.

She is too deep into something to talk to anyone, she cannot speak. She can look at her shadows like an open book and is ULTRA sensitive.

She wants to be alone.

Anyone experienced this?

Edited January 30, 2022 by OBEler

[hyruga]

This is not shadow work gone wrong. Doing shadow work itself will not give you so much effect.

This is Psychedelics gone wrong. Learn to detox from the effects of the psychedelics.

Edited January 31, 2022 by hyruga

[NoSelfSelf]

Better way in my opinion is to take psychadelics once or twice a month, then focus on shadow for longer period and go slowly,to me thats common sense, if you went to gym and did it every day all out then you would feel horrible...

Too much of good thing is bad...

[Ulax]

I'd consult some trauma-informed mental health professional professional about this

[Nadosa]

On 28.1.2022 at 0:29 AM, OBEler said:

Hello,

my girlfriend took many psychedelica every week for month. She is deeply traumatized from high school bullying and other things but psychedelica helped her a lot to release some negative energy. Her first LSD trip healed her migraine forever.

Right now she is at home in her country (no access to psychedelica) and has nothing to do. She sees suddenly all her shadows in her life openly like a book. She said this is very important for her and she cannot talk about the shadow experience because it is too heavy. This is since one month so.

I ask me if this is normal shadow work or if she does something wrong. Because some issues she told me are a little worrysome:

• she said right now she can go deeper than on any trip with lsd, mushroom, mdma and so on
• she is connected to universe. She cannot talk about it.
• She cannot speak to any human being since weeks, it cost too much energy
• she cannot leave the house, she cannot move 
• She vomits sometimes from too much emotional pain
• she has constant panic attacks
  • even the word panic gives her heart beating
  • if there is any stressful situation she feel she could die from the stress. she is at her limit

 

• However all these difficulties she describes, she also says this phase she is right now will define her destiny for the next 5 years
• She WANTS to see the shadow in her
• She also is of course sad and angry about her, that she cannot do anything right now because this shadow work cost so much energy

 

Is that normal shadow work or something else (dark night of the soul)? How long will this take, what are your experiences with shadow?

 

 

The Panic is due to her not feeling safe. She needs a mantra. That she is safe and secure, no matter whats happening. She should go out doing some exercise and after that sit on a bench, seeing that it is not someone else giving her this pain but that it is her investing her focus to the "seeming shadow" inside her own consciousness. All the WANTING to see the shadow etc. is the ego trying to go anywhere but not here. And here is where the magic happens. That's the reason she panics, she has to sit with it, head on. Maybe with someone she trusts. Panic etc. doesn't heal, it stresses the body.

[OBEler]

@Nadosa you are right, she misses security. she panics if she thinks about future.

this has nothing to do with psychedelics. She is not tripping since 2 month and she had heavy panic attacks before she had her first trip.

Right now she sleeps the whole day

Edited February 1, 2022 by OBEler

[Nadosa]

On 28.1.2022 at 0:29 AM, OBEler said:

Hello,

my girlfriend took many psychedelica every week for month. She is deeply traumatized from high school bullying and other things but psychedelica helped her a lot to release some negative energy. Her first LSD trip healed her migraine forever.

Right now she is at home in her country (no access to psychedelica) and has nothing to do. She sees suddenly all her shadows in her life openly like a book. She said this is very important for her and she cannot talk about the shadow experience because it is too heavy. This is since one month so.

I ask me if this is normal shadow work or if she does something wrong. Because some issues she told me are a little worrysome:

• she said right now she can go deeper than on any trip with lsd, mushroom, mdma and so on
• she is connected to universe. She cannot talk about it.
• She cannot speak to any human being since weeks, it cost too much energy
• she cannot leave the house, she cannot move 
• She vomits sometimes from too much emotional pain
• she has constant panic attacks
  • even the word panic gives her heart beating
  • if there is any stressful situation she feel she could die from the stress. she is at her limit

 

• However all these difficulties she describes, she also says this phase she is right now will define her destiny for the next 5 years
• She WANTS to see the shadow in her
• She also is of course sad and angry about her, that she cannot do anything right now because this shadow work cost so much energy

 

Is that normal shadow work or something else (dark night of the soul)? How long will this take, what are your experiences with shadow?

 

 

That's most likely due to not enough meditation. She gets lost in concepts of solving something. What she needs is loving herself to the fullest.

Definitely sleeping all day will make it worse. She might have to adress the fear fully. Be with it. Loving it. It is all herself. All a creation of herself.

Edited February 1, 2022 by Nadosa

[Nahm]

 

Quote

She said this is very important for her and she cannot talk about the shadow experience because it is too heavy. This is since one month so.

Because she is choosing to go that route, not to express but suppress, not to imply it’s easy… 

…she’s experiencing this….

Quote

I ask me if this is normal shadow work or if she does something wrong. Because some issues she told me are a little worrysome:

• she said right now she can go deeper than on any trip with lsd, mushroom, mdma and so on
• she is connected to universe. She cannot talk about it.
• She cannot speak to any human being since weeks, it cost too much energy
• she cannot leave the house, she cannot move 
• She vomits sometimes from too much emotional pain
• she has constant panic attacks
  • even the word panic gives her heart beating
  • if there is any stressful situation she feel she could die from the stress. she is at her limit

 

• However all these difficulties she describes, she also says this phase she is right now will define her destiny for the next 5 years
• She WANTS to see the shadow in her
• She also is of course sad and angry about her, that she cannot do anything right now because this shadow work cost so much energy

 

Is that normal shadow work or something else (dark night of the soul)? How long will this take, what are your experiences with shadow?

 

 

In whatever expressive way she ‘get’s there’… ‘there’ is that the thoughts & emotions are now, not the events. ‘Getting there’ is actually being present, being here, now. Now is processing the thoughts & emotions, not technically speaking, the events. The difference therein, what’s released, is the identity / identifying, the thought based binding of the past… releasing the underlying self misinterpretations / allowing love, the truth of herself. The love she is is bigger than all acceptance, understanding, compassion & forgiveness. 

Only you can say how to go about this on your own behalf, but sometimes ‘this is my life passing by’ kicks in, when those around are seen to be genuinely happy carrying on and moving forward. 

I get what you’re saying about energy, I’ve see many tolls, but in truth this is suppression unfortunately, as there is no lack of energy, or ‘dark energy’ of ‘shadow work’ or shadow ‘in her’. She isn’t per se ‘sad & angry about her’, she is the her, and is experiencing sadness & anger. Those emotions, she’s creating… they aren’t ‘about her’.  Again, there is now, and these emotions are now, and are not events of a past. This is not expressing emotions, releasing, letting go, allowing vibration to rise, these are conceptualizations / suppression. 

Quantity of repetition of misinterpretation doesn’t add up to feeling better. Inspection / expression, releasing & letting go, then source fills in that emptied space. Again, unfortunate and so sorry to here, but the truth is she might never choose to express, and thus move forward and experience the things she desires to, because she might never acknowledge the emotions she is experiencing. 

Blood does blind. Talking to a therapist would be most ideal. 

[OBEler]

So She is not doing it right? 

She wants to look at her trauma issues but complains how hard it is and that she has nö energy for anything right now

[Nadosa]

There is no "right" doing. All she does (but isnt aware of) is continuously "self inflicting and doing suffering", really it is a doing. If she is really really certain about psychedelics, she should maybe first establish a Meditation practise. Meditation means: What is 100% true right now? Not some fairy-tale esoteric concept, Meditation is your true Nature! In seeing that thoughts are thoughts and are NOT to be believed, most of the discordance will vanish in less time.

I would strongly advocate also taking St. Johns wort pills, camomile tea and dark chocolate + mild exercise. 

Of course expressing emotions and feelings too.

Edited February 3, 2022 by Nadosa

[mememe]

@OBEler doesn’t sound too good, can’t you get her out from there - i doubt she can heal there.

sometimes we think we can handle trauma only by confronting ourselves with it (there is a reason for shaddows though. in this case the shadow eats up her light energy, but you want it the other way round, if you love her) in psychology destabilizing confrontation is not seen as a healing process, it’s not. there is no place where she can escape the memories, not healthy, distance would be better. she also needs therapeutic support.

Edited February 3, 2022 by mememe

[OBEler]

@mememe hmm but She said, if She doesnt Look now She will loose 5 years. 

She is too deep right now, cannot speak to anybody, cannot read Text, cannot move. Wants to be total alone, to look at her Shadow. 

Looking at your Shadow will always be hard and anxious, right? There is no other way than to go to these traumatized Feelings and feel the pain once again over and over until you heal from it. 

[mememe]

@OBEler yes but confrontation is like poison, it’s only an antidote if it is survived and better in small doses. don’t know, ask her how long she thinks she can stand it like that - if she really doesnt want to get out of the situation. might be that she also feels safe at her home.

therapy would be recommendable as soon as possible.

Edited February 3, 2022 by mememe

[OBEler]

@mememe but how can you heal your Shadows without confrontation and without the side effects coming with this confrontation (panic attacs, vomit, sleep issues)? Is there any other way? 

Small steps you say, but if you get deep there are no small steps there. She experience every trauma that happened in her life right now. 

[mememe]

@OBEler in some sense yes it’s true healing trauma is about confrontation,too. but like in phobia therapy, usually the exposure to fears is slowly and never without guidance. its a step by step process with exposure + talking therapy. chances are that without a therapist she is going through the same emotions of helplessness and loneliness as the moment she got traumatized are relatively high, which could also make it worse (panic attacks are somatic level already) a therapist would show her ways of coaping she maybe can’t resource from her own repertoire.

Edited February 3, 2022 by mememe

[Nahm]

@OBEler

No offense, I really really hope… but you are kind of ignoring the advice that would help, and focusing on what might be resulting in feeding into the suffering. Why not expression of the emotions she is presently experiencing? Why not therapy? You are talking about someone else, yes? Not yourself, in the ‘asking for a friend’ manor? Only asking because it strikes me as somewhat bizarre, the way you’re going about this. 

 

[bejapuskas]

Psychedelics every week is too much, even every month in my experience. I did them like maybe twice a year and even that was slightly too much. The afterglow does not even wear off in a week for me. Chill out, take it slow. I cannot imagine what kind of state she must be in after so much usage, but hopefully time will help her to be able to express and talk about these things more. I think she should try therapy, maybe she can find online bad trip integration therapist in some other country if that is not possible where she is from. Her moods might calm down in waves, gradually. How many weeks has it been?

[Mihael Keehl]

It might be helpful to look up therapists who have experience with psychedelics and to talk to one of them. There is a big list of these therapists on the website of  the MAPS organisation. It is called "psychedelic integration list". You can find it somwhere here: https://maps.org/take-action/resources/

[bejapuskas]

And please do not underestimate the influence a therapist can have. There might be all sorts of stigmas and judgements like the therapist is not developed enough etc. But to counter balance that perspective, I suggest that there are many good therapists who you can have an interesting conversation with and who can help you understand yourself better. Do not be ashamed to get some help.