Happiness is boring

[Julian gabriel]

Whenever I go through a period of time when I'm happy, without any drama, sadness or any problems whatsoever really, I always go back to chasing something or creating some problem to solve. Because problem solving and chasing a better future and the drama of romance is so much more fun than just being happy with what I already have. 

This seems to also be true for every other person I have ever seen. 

Being happy with what you have isn't the way of life, it's just death, because life is change. 

You left death to come here because death is boring. 

 

 

 

[Kksd74628]

@Julian gabriel

Happiness is not some state of mind, consciousness or physical pleasure. It is accepting present moment as it is and not wanting anything else.

When you have achieved that life no longer is suffering. Of course you can still solve problems or develop your character, but that is no longer source of happiness, because you have it within you wherever you go and whatever you do.

 

[Julian gabriel]

21 minutes ago, Kksd74628 said:

@Julian gabriel

Happiness is not some state of mind, consciousness or physical pleasure. It is accepting present moment as it is and not wanting anything else.

When you have achieved that life no longer is suffering. Of course you can still solve problems or develop your character, but that is no longer source of happiness, because you have it within you wherever you go and whatever you do.

 

Ok yea good point, why do I seem to find suffering more fun tho.

[soos_mite_ah]

We typically find joy and comfort in things not in things that are good for us but rather things that we find familiar. So even though a toxic dynamic maybe detrimental, to some people, because that is what is normalized to them, that is what they find themselves gravitating towards because on some level it feels safe. They also tend to be drawn to people who are the same way. 

There is nothing wrong with challenging yourself to grow into a better version of yourself and to experience life, but there is a healthy and unhealthy way of going about it. Learning new skills and opening up to new experiences are great. But seeking out drama and negative emotions because you're used to solving problems due to always being on survival mode is far from functional. And to dysfunctional, chaotic people, things like happiness, contentment, peace, or just a healthy stable lifestyle seems boring to them because that isn't what they are used to. 

Edited January 26, 2022 by soos_mite_ah

[Carl-Richard]

You're confusing happiness with stagnation. Life is movement. Stagnation sucks the life out of you.

[Julian gabriel]

11 minutes ago, Carl-Richard said:

You're confusing happiness with stagnation. Life is movement. Stagnation sucks the life out of you.

But even when my life is moving in the way you describe, and I'm happy all the time. I create some problem for myself just to experience some shift in my satisfaction, some drama, some problem that I can solve. It's like I fear happiness. 

[Carl-Richard]

12 minutes ago, Julian gabriel said:

But even when my life is moving in the way you describe, and I'm happy all the time. I create some problem for myself just to experience some shift in my satisfaction, some drama, some problem that I can solve. It's like I fear happiness. 

You want meaningful movement.

[Julian gabriel]

12 minutes ago, Carl-Richard said:

You want meaningful movement.

yeah I think ur right thanks. 

[Julian gabriel]

7 minutes ago, Knowledge Hoarder said:

You are probably subconsciously confusing happiness with excitement and thrill, which is fairly common. I'm not saying that the latter is bad, it's actually good to seek new experiences, but notice that while seeking these new exciting and emotionally stimulating experiences, you are not actually seeking them, but the satisfaction from fullfilling them. Notice that. That's what happiness actually is.

Happiness seems boring, because we are used/conditioned to big spikes in our moods, instead of very slowly, but steadily increasing satisfaction in our day to day lives. But ironically, this is exactly why we end up depressed, wondering why we're not happy.

It is possible to raise your level of satisfaction to such a degree, that you feel child like joy from merely existing. Now imagine you could be like that 24/7. Wouldn't seem very boring at all would it.

I have gone through months of feeling childlike joy at everything and it was very satisfying at the time, but I ended it on purpose because it became boring for me compared to the suffering that I experience with the drama of solving problems. It's like I seek out states which frustrate me, like I'm addicted to conflict. Whenever I'm really happy I feel kinda undeserving, and like I want to fight for something.

[Wilhelm44]

15 minutes ago, Julian gabriel said:

I have gone through months of feeling childlike joy at everything and it was very satisfying at the time, but I ended it on purpose because it became boring for me compared to the suffering that I experience with the drama of solving problems. It's like I seek out states which frustrate me, like I'm addicted to conflict. Whenever I'm really happy I feel kinda undeserving, and like I want to fight for something.

Why do you believe you need to be deserving of happiness ?

[Tim R]

@Julian gabriel Please don't write thread titles in all caps

[Julian gabriel]

5 hours ago, Tim R said:

@Julian gabriel Please don't write thread titles in all caps

@Tim R 
Ok, but why not?

Edited January 27, 2022 by Julian gabriel

[Carl-Richard]

3 minutes ago, Julian gabriel said:

@Tim R 
Ok, but why not?

Read the guidelines.

[Julian gabriel]

5 hours ago, Wilhelm44 said:

Why do you believe you need to be deserving of happiness ?

I don't know. I know that it doesn't make any sense to "deserve" happiness. It's probably linked to childhood trauma I went through.

Others didn't love me, so now I think that I need to be different to be loved by them, and in turn by me. Probably. 

[Amannl3in]

I think because you have experienced enough sadness and misery to appreciate happiness. 

[Julian gabriel]

6 hours ago, Wilhelm44 said:

Why do you believe you need to be deserving of happiness ?

You mean that since can appreciate happiness, now I don't care if I have it or not? or did you mean something else?

[blessedlion1993]

9 hours ago, Kksd74628 said:

@Julian gabriel

Happiness is not some state of mind, consciousness or physical pleasure. It is accepting present moment as it is and not wanting anything else.

When you have achieved that life no longer is suffering. Of course you can still solve problems or develop your character, but that is no longer source of happiness, because you have it within you wherever you go and whatever you do.

 

y

Edited January 27, 2022 by blessedlion1993
delted

[Wilhelm44]

3 hours ago, Julian gabriel said:

I don't know. I know that it doesn't make any sense to "deserve" happiness. It's probably linked to childhood trauma I went through.

Others didn't love me, so now I think that I need to be different to be loved by them, and in turn by me. Probably. 

A cool exercise you can try, is to begin imagining and feeling what it would be like if you had a completely loving childhood. So for example if there was an incident where you were rejected, imagine see and feel that same incident, accept in this satisfying version of the past you were totally accepted by others. It's kind of like giving yourself the love you always wanted by overwhelming the past with bliss. Of course you need to do the shadow work as well. But it really helps to combine it with the bliss aspect to. It might take some getting use to, but with intensity and repetition the results can be very magical.

[Timothy]

I think thats ok. theres a lot of pressure on us to be happy so that can create a resentment towards happiness and thats all ok.

[LastThursday]

16 hours ago, Julian gabriel said:

because life is change.

Change is death too. For things to change new things must happen and old things must stop happening and die.