Tips for overcoming suffering

[Someone here]

Tips for overcoming suffering.
From personal experiences and understanding at this point in time.
From learning Buddhism and just following the spiritual path for a quite a while. Just wanted to share few concepts. If you can apply them in your life...you can save yourself a lot of otherwise "free" and unnecessary suffering.

Drop your expectations.
Of yourself and of the world. Stop thinking that the world is other then the way it should be. Remove this "should" from your vocabulary. It doesn't make any logical or illogical sense. The world is always exactly as it "should" be. Because it's unfolding from the start. Not a single atom moves randomly. It's all planned out. Like a script or a movie. Drop all your expectations. All of them. Strive to be okay with whatever is going on. Notice that whatever is happening is exactly what should happen. Stop resisting life. And the easiest way to embody is to quickly become conscious that everything is predestined. When you raise your hands and scratch your head.. That's predetermined. So is everything. So what are you complaining about?

You are not free because you aren't separate . you don't exist as an entity in and of itself disconnected from environment.
Let go of this nonsense that you are in control. You have absolutely zero control over your life(as a little ego) . The more you become conscious of that more suffering free you will become. You don't control jack shit. You don't control your thoughts.. your actions.. your breath your heart beat.. Your digestion. It's all been done for you. You don't even exist the way you think you are. . You don't control other people or other objects. The sun the moon the solar system the weather etc basically the whole universe including so called your body. It's one seamless inevitable flow Just let it flow. Get out of gods way ffs.

Don't seek happiness. See the more you seek the more you reinforce the illusion that something is lacking. What could be lacking in wholeness? What is lacking in perfection? Yet you always believe that something is wrong somewhere. Why you do that? Because that's what motivates you to take action. To accomplish. But it has been my experience as well as your experience that nothing can make you truly happy.

No attainment.. no accomplishment, no goal.. no matter how many hoops you jump through.. no matter how well you do in the rat race.. no mater what great product you buy.. or how shiny it is.. or how much better then the neighbor’s it is.. nothing’s going to fix that sense of inadequacy. Cause that sense of not being good enough, cannot be fixed by anything… I won’t even say anything ‘out there’.. I’ll just say any thing. It’s not a thing that’s being wanted; it’s not a thing that’s needed. It’s not a thing that can make you feel adequate.. good enough.. give you worth. Because this sense of worthlessness.. this idea that you are a me that’s not good enough… is not true. So since this lie is a lie.. you can’t solve it. The lie will persist. Nothing can bring down a lie because it can keep lying. It’s not reality. So you can stick something in the hole.. but the hole itself is not really there; it’s a lie. And the only way to be free of being the slave of this lie.. and having your entire life standing for jumping through hoops to try to sooth this sense of inadequacy.. the only way out of this rat race, is to stop telling the lie.. and admit the truth. That this person, this me, who doesn’t compare, who is not as good as he or she should be, is just an idea… is not even who you are… doesn’t even exist in reality. 

[Gesundheit2]

??

[mandyjw]

What more do you want? 

What MORE do you want? 

That could be taken two different ways, as an honest question, what more do you want?, or as a rhetorical question inferring that you couldn't possibly want any more than THIS.  

Not two. 

In the acceptance that there is always more to want, desire is seen to be what is wanted whole in itself. You are never apart from the desire. 

[Gesundheit2]

@mandyjw Desire is a virus of the mind. Its existence is an indicator that something is not right, whether externally or internally. It's a tool of the devil.

You really haven't tasted true happiness until you've dropped all your desires. Counter-intuitive, but it is what it is.

Now, if you don't want maximum happiness, then sure, follow your desires and see where they lead you. I assure you that there is no comparison.

Edited January 26, 2022 by Gesundheit2

[Tim R]

6 minutes ago, Gesundheit2 said:

Desire is a virus of the mind. Its existence is an indicator that something is not right, whether externally or internally.

@Gesundheit2 Are you sure about that?

[Gesundheit2]

29 minutes ago, Tim R said:

@Gesundheit2 Are you sure about that?

Positive.

[Breakingthewall]

desire is something good, a sign that you are alive, you are human. the point is to see it for what it is. It's all a game, but why not play? It's more fun than not doing it, there will be eternities to not wish

[Gesundheit2]

23 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

desire is something good, a sign that you are alive

This is like saying smoking is something good, a sign that your lungs are working.

[RickyFitts]

Demonising desire isn't helpful, as it's only liable to lead to repression. Far better, in my opinion, to endeavour to understand what's at the root of it - inquire into it, feel into it. 

To desire is human, there's nothing wrong with desire in and of itself. To believe otherwise is to go to war with yourself, and that helps no-one.

Edited January 26, 2022 by RickyFitts

[Breakingthewall]

22 minutes ago, Gesundheit2 said:

This is like saying smoking is something good, a sign that your lungs are working.

desire is what keeps you alive. if you are cold, you want heat, etc. if you stop wishing, you die, unless you are in very special circumstances. to be taken care of by others who wish to take care of you, for example. buddha says: desire is the source of suffering, eliminate desire and you eliminate suffering. better, wish, suffer, nothing happens, if you know that your suffering is imaginary. in the end nothing is real, but you have to act as if it were

[Gesundheit2]

23 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

if you are cold, you want heat, etc.

There's no story behind that desire, it's not mine nor of the ego. I didn't invent it, nor did anybody teach it to me. It's God's magic working through my body.

Edited January 26, 2022 by Gesundheit2

[Breakingthewall]

9 minutes ago, Gesundheit2 said:

There's no story behind that desire, it's not mine nor of the ego. I didn't invent it, nor did anybody teach it to me. It's God's magic working through my body.

like all wishes. we are humans, maladjusted animals that need to desire in order to adapt. if we are cold, we make coats, if it takes a long time to make a trip, we make a plane. everything is desire. if we accept the world as it is, it eats us up. we have to change it. since we came down from the trees it is what it is. it is much more relaxed and beautiful to be a monkey in the jungle, but that is not the case. we have to chop wood and all that

[Gesundheit2]

6 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

like all wishes.

Absolutely not.

6 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

we are humans, maladjusted animals that need to desire in order to adapt.

Hence, it's not a good sign.

6 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

if we are cold, we make coats, if it takes a long time to make a trip, we make a plane. everything is desire. if we accept the world as it is, it eats us up. we have to change it. since we came down from the trees it is what it is.

The more you desire, the more you will suffer, the less happy you will be. And vice-versa.

6 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

it is much more relaxed and beautiful to be a monkey in the jungle,

No, it's not.

6 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

we have to chop wood

Maybe.

6 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

and all that

But not really.

[Breakingthewall]

30 minutes ago, Gesundheit2 said:

The more you desire, the more you will suffer, the less happy you will be. And vice-versa.

 right, the problem is that if you don't have desires you sink into shit... which doesn't matter if you don't have desires, obviously. if you have no desires, if you do not distinguish between good and bad, you are in paradise. but you die, they enslave you, you get cold and the rats eat you. I think that a balance is possible: desire with passion, and at will, when it is not necessary, cut off the desire and enter the kingdom of heaven.  but never wishing and being a saint in a cave seems to me to lose something valuable, the human gift of doing, of changing reality. which is a source of suffering, sure, but it is also satisfying. If you know that suffering is imaginary it's bearable 

Edit: but who knows, maybe the world is a stupidity and pure source of suffering and would be much better be a saint in a cave, as the xingxing ming poem says: make the slightest distinction between good and bad and heaven and earth are infinitely separated

Edited January 26, 2022 by Breakingthewall

[Nahm]

2 hours ago, Gesundheit2 said:

It's God's magic working through my body.

Love that. ?? 

[WelcometoReality]

19 hours ago, Gesundheit2 said:

@mandyjw Desire is a virus of the mind. Its existence is an indicator that something is not right, whether externally or internally. It's a tool of the devil.

You really haven't tasted true happiness until you've dropped all your desires. Counter-intuitive, but it is what it is.

Now, if you don't want maximum happiness, then sure, follow your desires and see where they lead you. I assure you that there is no comparison.

??

 

Seems like desire falls away after awakening has happened and then one's content with being. Doing the small things. Living an ordinary life. It's beautiful thing.

There is no way to get rid of desire only to see that they don't lead to happiness. Happiness is already here underneath the desire.

[WelcometoReality]

14 hours ago, Breakingthewall said:

right, the problem is that if you don't have desires you sink into shit... which doesn't matter if you don't have desires, obviously. if you have no desires, if you do not distinguish between good and bad, you are in paradise. but you die, they enslave you, you get cold and the rats eat you.

To me it seems like that wasn't the case. You can't know what happens once you let of desires. Life moves on it's own but there might not be much going for a while. It sorta falls apart only to fall together again. Nothing extraordinary but it's beautiful.

[hyruga]

It's all in the mind.

Nothing in life has any meaning until you give it meaning.

You are creating your own suffering.

[Breakingthewall]

6 hours ago, WelcometoReality said:

To me it seems like that wasn't the case. You can't know what happens once you let of desires. Life moves on it's own but there might not be much going for a while. It sorta falls apart only to fall together again. Nothing extraordinary but it's beautiful.

6 hours ago, WelcometoReality said:

 

Is it possible to survive without desire? In some cases I guess so, but material survival requires struggle. can you fight without desire? as humans we do not have an instinct that makes us be adapted to the environment, we have to learn, and that requires desire. 

Edited January 27, 2022 by Breakingthewall

[WelcometoReality]

28 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

Is it possible to survive without desire? In some cases I guess so, but material survival requires struggle. can you fight without desire?

Yes desire and struggle seem to be closely linked. Struggle to get a certain object or to achieve something that you desire. 

Do you struggle to breath or getting water and food from the refrigerator? Or even struggle to go to work? Some things one do is effortless. I would even say that most things are effortless but maybe that's based of how I function now. I have definitely struggled alot in the past.

Fighting as defend myself? Yes if that's what is needed.

Fight to get somewhere and achieve things? No, there is no struggle without desires. The ability to push yourself disappears. It's all happening effortlessly and genuinely.

2 hours ago, Breakingthewall said:

as humans we do not have an instinct that makes us be adapted to the environment, we have to learn, and that requires desire. 

Learning can be effortless as well. I love to learn. Read books. Learn to paint, woodworking, brew beer. But I do it because that's what I like to do not because I need to learn it in order to achieve something.

Don't get me wrong, Desire is great to achieve big things. Where would Elon Musk be without desire? Maybe work at walmart. Or maybe the universe would have some other great plan for him, who knows. My guess is that he would be happier without desires.