Balancing being good enough and being different to attract people?

[Thestarguitarist14]

18 minutes ago, Hero0 said:

not every one of us were born and raised in the same circumstances as you did, some of us are still struggling essentials

going out and feel emotions, get laid a few times and don't get stuck there, then get to your next chapter as you go through your procces of actualization.

it is not only about getting sex or making kids, is about you aquiring maturity and more chess pieces on your table 

Man, you guys have done serious scarcity mindsets.

You all just want shortcuts.  You do not want to do the real work.  Pick up is not some wonderland.  Most of you guys will never be good pick up artists so it’s futile anyway.

Also, if you cannot build a network of cool men, then how the hell are you going to get nines and tens?  You do lot get nines or tens off game.  You get them off any combination of money, looks, status, and social proof.  

Edited January 26, 2022 by Thestarguitarist14

[something_else]

46 minutes ago, Thestarguitarist14 said:

You all just want shortcuts.  You do not want to do the real work.  Pick up is not some wonderland.  Most of you guys will never be good pick up artists so it’s futile anyway.

Most dudes here don't want to be 'pickup artists' they just want to get better with women and be more sociable. Pickup is a decent framework to start out with. Even you went through a pickup phase, and now you're preaching about how it's not the path. Sure, but you still went through that phase. It's a valuable thing for guys to do even if they transcend it at some point

I mean even if you build a social circle of dudes you still need to know how to approach and talk to girls. It is a skill in and of itself. Or at the very least you need to have talked to enough girls to desensitise yourself 

Honestly I don't know why you're so aggressive towards others about it, it seems very strange and slightly toxic

 

[Nahm]

On 1/24/2022 at 6:42 PM, Jacob Morres said:

How do you balance being good enough as you are but simultaneously not having yet what the opposite sex wants? It's a weird paradox I haven't solved yet 

Being good ‘enough’ is not defined by anything you have or anything anyone else wants. There’s no but. But… thinking makes it seem so. 

There’s no shortage or lack (of females or males or whatever combo therein). Adversarial competitive thinking, shortage, value, other and or self objectification, these are just ways of thinking. If they’re discordant, consider the intentions and reflect on your intentions. Maybe they’re aligned, maybe not.  

Being different / not good enough to attract, will of course attract, being different / not good enough. If you’re just looking for sex, it doesn’t really matter. If you’re looking for a relationship, how do you figure that’s gonna play out? Will you ‘be different’ with respect to him or her & maintain that facade for your entire life in regard to the relationship? What kind of relationship is that really, is it even actually a relationship? Would you not grow tired of the manipulation, discord & mental gymnastics required to rational & justify this? Far more significantly, at the root of attraction we might say, what kind of communion is this? Are you really even attracting what you want? Do you know what you want?

[Thestarguitarist14]

5 hours ago, something_else said:

Most dudes here don't want to be 'pickup artists' they just want to get better with women and be more sociable. Pickup is a decent framework to start out with. Even you went through a pickup phase, and now you're preaching about how it's not the path. Sure, but you still went through that phase. It's a valuable thing for guys to do even if they transcend it at some point

I mean even if you build a social circle of dudes you still need to know how to approach and talk to girls. It is a skill in and of itself. Or at the very least you need to have talked to enough girls to desensitise yourself 

Honestly I don't know why you're so aggressive towards others about it, it seems very strange and slightly toxic

 

Whatever man.  Like I said.  Go do pick up for five years and see how happy you are.  Most of you guys will never have good game anyway so you will just be spinning your wheels.

[Federico del pueblo]

19 minutes ago, Thestarguitarist14 said:

Most of you guys will never have good game anyway so you will just be spinning your wheels.

How did you arrive at the conclusion that most guys who do pick up for five years do not get good game (no offense here, just pure curiosity)?

[Thestarguitarist14]

19 minutes ago, Federico del pueblo said:

How did you arrive at the conclusion that most guys who do pick up for five years do not get good game (no offense here, just pure curiosity)?

Because most guys just don’t have it in them. Most guys will just be average men.  If everyone had great game it wouldn’t be such a cool thing to have now would it?

[Federico del pueblo]

31 minutes ago, Thestarguitarist14 said:

Because most guys just don’t have it in them. Most guys will just be average men. 

For sure. But wouldn't you say that this is just as true for these other pursuits like attaing status, being well connected, making lots of money, having an amazing life style.

Will most guys (you try) attain that?

[Thestarguitarist14]

18 minutes ago, Federico del pueblo said:

For sure. But wouldn't you say that this is just as true for these other pursuits like attaing status, being well connected, making lots of money, having an amazing life style.

Will most guys (you try) attain that?

No.  There are loads of ways to make money and an amazing g lifestyle is subjective.  For some that is a penthouse in Manhattan and for others it’s backpacking out in Yosemite.

And it’s 2022, if you are a guy who isn’t making six figures or genetically blessed, or have grade A game then you are going to have a hard time regardless.  Might as well be smart and create real change in your life.

[Federico del pueblo]

3 minutes ago, Thestarguitarist14 said:

No.  There are loads of ways to make money and an amazing g lifestyle is subjective.  For some that is a penthouse in Manhattan and for others it’s backpacking out in Yosemite.

And it’s 2022, if you are a guy who isn’t making six figures or genetically blessed, or have grade A game then you are going to have a hard time regardless.  Might as well be smart and create real change in your life.

Ok.

Thanks for sharing your views on these things.

[Thestarguitarist14]

13 minutes ago, Federico del pueblo said:

Ok.

Thanks for sharing your views on these things.

Glad to see that you concur.

[Terell Kirby]

1 hour ago, Thestarguitarist14 said:

And it’s 2022, if you are a guy who isn’t making six figures or genetically blessed, or have grade A game then you are going to have a hard time regardless.  

This is the shit you tell yourself to prevent you from taking action.

All I hear is excuses and a projection of victim mentality.

[Federico del pueblo]

57 minutes ago, Thestarguitarist14 said:

Glad to see that you concur.

Which part of my post indicated to you that I concur?

[Thestarguitarist14]

2 minutes ago, Terell Kirby said:

This is the shit you tell yourself to prevent you from taking action.

All I hear is excuses and a projection of victim mentality.

What is wrong with you guys?  What is with the psychological projection?

You know what I do now?  I go out to get dinner Friday night, network a little and look for specific women to approach.  Then I hit up a bar, hang out, and will apoeoshuyomce again, specific women (women who are alone, not a lot of make up, fit, dressed conservatively.  These are women who are actually serious about finding a man).  Then Saturday I go to an event to network and if there are women there, great.  If not, cool.  Sunday I go to a cafe which is a great way to meet some “competitive” women.

Notice how I just live my life now?  It’s not structured to where I have to approach 30 women a week and have to go clubbing every week.  And my life is actually improving.  Pick up in it of itself will not improve your life.  I implore you to do just to see that you won’t be happy.

[Terell Kirby]

2 minutes ago, Thestarguitarist14 said:

What is wrong with you guys?  What is with the psychological projection?

You know what I do now?  I go out to get dinner Friday night, network a little and look for specific women to approach.  Then I hit up a bar, hang out, and will apoeoshuyomce again, specific women (women who are alone, not a lot of make up, fit, dressed conservatively.  These are women who are actually serious about finding a man).  Then Saturday I go to an event to network and if there are women there, great.  If not, cool.  Sunday I go to a cafe which is a great way to meet some “competitive” women.

Notice how I just live my life now?  It’s not structured to where I have to approach 30 women a week and have to go clubbing every week.  And my life is actually improving.  Pick up in it of itself will not improve your life.  I implore you to do just to see that you won’t be happy.

Lol have you gotten laid from any of this? Don't lie to me ..

[Thestarguitarist14]

1 minute ago, Terell Kirby said:

Lol have you gotten laid from any of this? Don't lie to me ..

Yes.  A lot of people do.  It’s called being a grown man.  Log off and try it one day.

And it’s not about getting laid. It’s about me creating a network of men.  Getting laid is not my priority anymore.  When I want to get laid that night I go to Hollywood.  I want to build a strong social circle which will include women.  Social circle game trumps cold approach any day.

Edited January 26, 2022 by Thestarguitarist14

[Terell Kirby]

@Thestarguitarist14 Lol you are hilarious .. I highly doubt you've had any real success with women.

Don't blame women or pick up for your failures. You'll never live a good life this way, I promise you.

[Thestarguitarist14]

29 minutes ago, Terell Kirby said:

@Thestarguitarist14 Lol you are hilarious .. I highly doubt you've had any real success with women.

Don't blame women or pick up for your failures. You'll never live a good life this way, I promise you.

You are such a troll that it’s sad.  I noticed you backed away when I called you out for having no dating experience.  You sound like a bitter man who knows he doesn’t make enough money to get the women that he wants so he believes that pick up will save him.  You will not get any better than where you are right now.  I guarantee it.

Sad thing is that I could help you.  I actually have experience in a big city dating women.  But you are too closed minded in your pool of sadness to reach out.  
 

I remember why I left this forum.  The worst kind of men are on here.

Edited January 26, 2022 by Thestarguitarist14

[Terell Kirby]

42 minutes ago, Thestarguitarist14 said:

I remember why I left this forum.  The worst kind of men are on here.

Awww you need a hug

[Thestarguitarist14]

1 hour ago, Terell Kirby said:

Awww you need a hug

I think the whole world needs one.

But seriously, overly spiritual men are the worst.  I mean here you are, refuting my real life experience because of your feelings.  Real men don’t do that.  That’s what women do.

Edited January 26, 2022 by Thestarguitarist14