Balancing being good enough and being different to attract people?

[Leo Gura]

25 minutes ago, Medhansh said:

I was talking about the 4 hour daily grind he put in for 7 years to establish his value in Vegas.

Putting 7 years in game makes sense because that skillset will land you girls throughout the world.

But a social system can be easily dismantled within a day because of fights, shifting away, etc.   

7 years down the drain...

Calculate how many hours of cold approach it would take you to sleep with 1000 girls.

You don't think this guy has built insane social skills in those 7 years? It's not like he doesn't have game. Game and social circle are not mutually exclusive. They synergize.

The bottom line is that he designed exactly his ideal lifestyle and now he's living it. I'm not telling you to copy him. I'm just sharing an anecdote of how one guy set up his life in a way that's conducive to getting laid. This will certainly not be suitable for many people. For example, if you want to move around a lot then social circle isn't for you.

If sleeping with 1000 girls is something that appeals to you (it doesn't appeal to me personally), then investing 7 years to get that is not unreasonable.

You are also completely discounting all other benefits that come with having such a powerful social circle. A powerful social circle yields: job opportunities, sales opportunities, business opportunities, investment opportunities, exclusive events, all sorts of freebies, insider knowledge, and amazing friends. Girls are only half the equation.

For this guy it's not just about the girls, it's the lifestyle he wanted.

[Yali]

@Leo Gura

Quote

You should be happy to pull twice a month when you first start learning game.

How often does an intermediate player like yourself pull every month when going out consistently? What's a good month? What's a bad month?

Edited January 25, 2022 by Yali

[Leo Gura]

21 minutes ago, Yali said:

@Leo Gura

How often does an intermediate player like yourself pull every month when going out consistently? What's a good month? What's a bad month?

I don't even know if I would call myself intermediate.

There are many variables involved: how often you go out, how long you stay out, how hard you hit it, your health, your logistics situation, time of the year, what city you live in, your skill level, your personality type, the quality of girls you're trying to pull, your ethics, luck, what your goals are, how much momentum you've built up, your emotional state, etc. So there's not going to be any clear number. It will vary a lot from guy to guy.

A bad month is zero.

But also, I don't measure my results based on quantity of girls I sleep with. That's a pretty foolish measure. I would rather sleep with 1 amazing girl than 10 below average ones. But even that is still not the right measure because the skills developed and life experiences gained are more important. I measure my results based on how much it grows me internally. This way if I have a month where I get zero girls, I still see it as part of my overall success and I don't quit. Whereas most guys would just quit.

[mememe]

how to become a playboy, how to become a playboy bunny is probably what everyone had in mind when thinking about actualized.org from the start. what a life purpose.

[Yali]

11 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

I measure my results based on how much it grows me internally.

wise of you

[Yali]

@Leo Gura I relate with quality of quantity

 

check this gal out. most compatible personality types based off jungian psychology.

 

[Yali]

19 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

1 amazing girl 

@Leo Gura

how do you define "amazing"? what are the key factors?

for me, compatible jungian personality type ... physical looks ... ego development ... no mental health issues

Edited January 25, 2022 by Yali

[Leo Gura]

35 minutes ago, Yali said:

@Leo Gura

how do you define "amazing"? what are the key factors?

Well, at the bare minimum just physical appearance. But of course you can start to layer all sorts of other factors on top of that which makes the girl harder and harder to find.

It's not like a girl with lesser physical appearance will meet all your other criteria. She could easily be a jobless, neurotic, alcoholic, nutcase.

[Yali]

@Leo Gura is personality compatibility a big deal for you? or do you mostly go for looks?

[Leo Gura]

7 minutes ago, Yali said:

@Leo Gura is personality compatibility a big deal for you? or do you mostly go for looks?

It is a big deal if we're talking about a GF. But not in some formal Myers-Briggs way. I just have to enjoy her personality. I just intuitively try to feel that out. I try to stay as open as possible regarding personality. I don't want to pre-judge her. Let's just see what works.

[Yali]

7 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

. Let's just see what works.

Some of the intertype relationships are more psychologically compatible (or favorable) than others. Check this out -- https://www.sociotype.com/socionics/intertype_relationships/

For you (an INTP), your best matches would be 1. ESFJ 2. INTP 3. ISFJ 4. ENTP as you all share the same cognitive functions (Ti, Ne, Si, Fe).

It's a value system, just like spiral dynamics. 

I know from personal experience that this is true. @Leo Gura

Avoid ESFP like the plague, as that's your conflictor type 

Edited January 25, 2022 by Yali

[Yali]

I speak about Intertype compatibility in the context of a close, romantic relationship.

You can be friendly with any type depending on the context. @Leo Gura

Lucky for you, your best match (ESFJ) is very common amongst women. 

So you should have an easier time finding your soul mate. @Leo Gura

Edited January 25, 2022 by Yali

[Yali]

The gal I linked above explains this well. Of course, relationships are complicated & personality type is only one of many factors.

@Leo Gura

Edited January 25, 2022 by Yali

[mememe]

@Jacob Morres @Jacob Morres

best advice would probably be to find someone in transition like you are. if you have similar goals probably even better, supporting each other in a career can be the best time of your life (if you don’t want to become a pimp, ofc) 

i just build a preconception that this was not your future career plan. sorry for being superstitious on that. (some people really also do career coaching for a job. )

Edited January 25, 2022 by mememe

[wildflower]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

It is a big deal if we're talking about a GF. But not in some formal Myers-Briggs way. I just have to enjoy her personality. I just intuitively try to feel that out. I try to stay as open as possible regarding personality. I don't want to pre-judge her. Let's just see what works.

One day hopefully you'll see how ridiculously close minded and naïve you where to psychology and it's placement in human relationships.

I don't mean to be rude but your stance on there being no identifiable patterns to human psychology that can predict relationship success or correlation, is just plain stupid, naïve and close minded

[Leo Gura]

2 minutes ago, wildflower said:

but your stance on there being no identifiable patterns to human psychology that can predict relationship success or correlation

I never took any such stance.

I simply said I am open.

Jesus.

[Lyubov]

It's tricky cause the paradigm of being "good enough" is just setting one up for later failure. You'll always find yourself on the scale you've used towards others to judge their value. My sort of approach to game is much more inner/body based so for me I've largely resolved this conundrum by changing the channel and creating my own paradigm that works for me. I don't supplicate and when I game it isn't about impressing or being different to win their approval but rather do it as a game or an act of giving, fulfilling their needs. It's kinda hard to put into words for me but I'm sorta comfortable with these paradoxes and I just don't overthink them, rather appreciate and have fun with them. It's all about being in the present moment for me and just moving sexual/penetrative energy outward of my body when I game. I would fill your mind with stuff that gets your mind off of this. More body based approaches when you're around women and then just go from there and make your desires clear to them. Overthinking stuff like this won't resolve it. Exposure to experience and getting the results you want will. 

Edited January 25, 2022 by Lyubov

[wildflower]

@Leo Gura We've been through this before, but Jung (who was an INTP) created a schema of the pysche that identifies patterns, that are as accurate as any other science.

He basically said this; consciousness - your pysche - can be split into four fundamental dimensions.

Sensate reality

Thinking

Feeling

Intuition

Each dimension performs two functions based on a subject/object dichotomy. 

Internal sensate reality && External sensate reality

Internal Thinking && External thinking

etc etc

This gives 8 functions of consciousness. Notice for example Wittgenstein Tactatus and 'logical space' being inherently logical is just talking about the Thinking dimension of consciousness!

The pysche creates a hierarchy based around preference of the 8 functions. How you create this hierarchy is your what each personality archetype or perspective is

Each of the 8 functions has an associated archetypal energy, INTP means internal thinking (logic) is expressed positively through the hero archetype, INTP's are heroic with truth for example. There parent archetype is wrapper around metaphysics (external intuition), so INTP's are parental trying to help people with metaphysics (can you see this pattern perhaps in yourself)?

Your ego is the first 4 functions, and your shadow your last 4. You project and blame the last 4 onto the world as not you or not mine. The shadow is expressed via negative archetypal energies, thats why your ego doesn't identify with them (demon [angry frustrated aggressive etc], trickster, critic, opposing etc etc)

 

The goal of Jungs work is to integrate all 8 functions of conciousness into concious control, to remove the negative shadow archetypes and intergate them into a complete whole pysche

Your top romantic match is your shadow, they embody the positive ideal of the negative parts of yourself, and make you whole. You project your shadow onto your shadow match, and they can circumvent it, as they have that perspective but with positive archetypal energies rather than negatives

I already sent you the discord where I explicate and teach jung and subsequent peoples work. Its just as important or significant if not more so than holism

Edited January 25, 2022 by wildflower

[wildflower]

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Edited January 25, 2022 by wildflower

[Yali]

@wildflower Are you a fan of Socionics Intertype relations?